The Last Viable Donor
by mabelreid
Summary: Set after Memoriam Spoilers for Catching Out. Reid never answered Emily when she asked him if he was thinking about having baby geniuses. What will he say when she asks him to provide a very special service for her?
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: This takes place in the fourth season after "Memoriam." For my purposes, Austin isn't in the picture. Also, most of the reserach for this piece came from the internet and from my beta REIDFANATIC, who is a nurse. Some medical facts and procedures will be tweaked by me for the purposes of this story. It isn't my intention to offend anyone that has had fertility problems. If I do, I apologize in advance. Please remember that many women get artificially inseminated who are single. I'll be exploring that part of reproductive medicine instead of other options, although some of them will be mentioned in the course of the story. **_

_**A/n this will eventually be a Reid and Emily romantic pairing because you know me, I love my romance.**_

Emily slammed her apartment door. Tears were running down her cheeks as she hurried into the did she let her mother do this to her? She should be able to throw off the little remarks, and prods, that her mother found so easy to sling her way. Why couldn't her mother realize that she was happy in her job? She didn't need to find something else to do with her life.

She tossed her purse on the table in the corner of the small kitchen. Her coat got thrown over a wooden chair. She toed off her shoes and left them next to the chair. Her hand was on the cupboard that housed an unopened bottle of bourbon before she took hold of herself and headed for the cupboard with her selection of herbals teas.

She made a cup of chamomile tea and took it to her living room. The grey sky outside reminded her that fall was here to stay and winter was on its way. Only five more weeks till the beginning of the holidays. That was going to be one more day in hell with her parents if they decided to stay in town and celebrate for a change. If she were lucky, they'd skip the holidays and she'd be spared from having to listen to her mother complain about the lack of grandchildren.

"I don't get her attitude." Emily said to the grey tabby cat that leapt up on the couch next to her.

The cat curled up on the big sectional sofa and swished her tail at this question. "Why am I asking the cat about my mother?" The cat lifted a paw and began washing its face. "You're no help!"

The cat stopped grooming long enough to meow loudly. She got up and rubbed against Emily's thigh with her head.

"Okay, I'll get you a treat."

She went back to her tea and the sofa after going to the kitchen and getting a treat for the begging cat. "Why is it that you can get me to give you extra treats? I'm supposed to be the one that says no in this relationship." Sophie turned her back on Emily and began to wash once again. "Why do I bother with you?"

She left the cat sitting on the sofa. Her tea was getting cold and she decided that she didn't want it.

The book shelf at the north end of the room looked promising. She'd find something to read till it was time to think about dinner. Perhaps she could salvage what was left of the Wednesday afternoon. Hotch had required that they all take two days after a very tough case. It was ending too soon for her. If only she could have two more days…

She had her hand on "Anne of Green Gables," when her cell phone rang. "That better not be Jordan." She growled.

The number on the caller id was vaguely familiar. She opened her phone, grateful that it wasn't a case calling to her."

"Emily Prentiss."

"Hello Emily. This is Dr. St John's office. We have you scheduled next Monday for your annual checkup. Unfortunately the doctor can't be here that day. Her mother is undergoing surgery and she's going home Saturday."

"Oh, I'm sorry… When can I reschedule?"

"She'll be able to see you Friday afternoon."

"That's fine as long as I don't have to go away for a case."

"Is four pm okay?"

"Yeah, I think I can sneak out early."

"I'll put you down. Have a good week."

Emily hung up the phone and attempted to lose herself in Prince Edward Island during the late nineteenth century. She got as far as the fourth page before the realization hit that she couldn't concentrate. She put the book aside and got up to pace.

Her mother had hit a nerve. As much as it galled her to admit it, her mother had touched on something that had been nagging her for over a year. She wasn't getting any younger. The possibility for marriage and children seemed so far out of the realm of possibility as to be negligible.

She looked at "Anne of Green Gables," and thought about the possibility of adoption.

"They won't let you adopt. They'll say that with your job you wouldn't be able to give a child sufficient attention."

That was true enough… She remembered talking to Connelly in counter-terrorism, who couldn't conceive a child with his wife. His wife had been heartbroken when the adoption agency told him that his job was too dangerous and stressful.

"The question is do you want to have a child with your job?"

Sophie leapt up on the end table and sat there looking like a statue she'd seen in the Louvre once of an Egyptian cat.

"What do you think Sophie? Have I gone nuts? I have a good life. No one depends on me."

The cat swished her tail.

"Well, except for you."

She picked up the book that had been tossed to the side of the couch. The picture of the red-headed girl was so familiar as she'd read this over and over again since she was twelve years old. What had Marilla imagined when she thought of adopting a boy? Had she imagined what he looked like, or what his personality had been like?

"This is nuts. You're going to get your head together and stop thinking about this. "

She nodded her head and put the book aside. The grandfather clock in the corner struck the quarter hour. It was time to think about something to eat.

Three hours later, dinner was over, the dishes were washed and the kitchen tided. Sophie was curled up on the sofa staring at Emily as she sat down on the couch with "Anne of Green Gables" again. Emily read another six pages before tossing the book aside for the third time.

Maybe some mindless television would be the way to get her mind off the ridiculous idea. But, one pass through her cable stations showed that idea to be a big loser. Sophie left her perch on the other end of the sofa and jumped up next to Emily. She laid her head in Emily's lap and meowed.

"Why are you so solicitous today?"

Sophie eyed her with something like insult.

"I'm not giving you any more treats. You've had your quota for the day."

Sophie meowed and crawled into her lap.

Emily patted her for several minutes while her mind whirled. _Don't blame your mother for everything. You're just angry because she hit a nerve. You're the one that's been thinking of the alternatives to marriage._

"It's JJ's fault." Emily informed Sophie, who just looked at her.

"Well it is! She has this great guy and a baby. It's not fair that she got the last viable donor."

Sophie meowed and shoved her head into Emily's hand.

"I'm not going there." She informed the cat.

Sophie shoved her head into Emily's hand again and stared up at her with her golden eyes.

"No, I'm not going to do it."

Sophie meowed, jumped out of her lap and sat with her back to Emily.

"Okay, but if this goes badly it's your fault!"

---

Emily picked up the notebook she'd found in her desk drawer. She was sitting in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a plate of peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies.

Sophie sat next to her on the bed. She shoved her head into Emily's hand and meowed impatiently.

"Okay, who do we start with?"

Sophie stared at her. "You're a lot of help now that you got me to do what you want!" Sophie meowed.

"Alright, we'll start with Hotch."

She made a column of pros and cons for her boss. _This is nuts!_

_It may be nuts, but it's the only way!_

"Okay, for the pro side: Attractive, smart, older than me, stable, he has his own home, he has a child of his own, and he's a lawyer, good leadership skills, a good dresser, friendly with my parents.

The pro side didn't look like she'd put much thought into it. She just didn't know him that well. He was an enigma that she found next to impossible to profile.

The con side was easier. There were very few cons: he never smiled, and he was a workaholic, he already had a child that he didn't see very often.

The next candidate was going to be the most difficult. Rossi was in some ways very easy to read and in other ways very difficult to read. She stalled for a minute by picking up a cookie and taking several bites. The chocolate should have been too much with the cup of hot chocolate, but her motto was you could never have too much chocolate.

"Okay, let's get Rossi out of the way. For the pro side: reasonably attractive, no nonsense, a dry sense of humor that could catch you off guard, he likes art, and books, he has plenty of money, committed to his job, compassionate at times.

The con side was a little easier too: obsessive-compulsive, neat freak, fussy, been married three times, was responsible for most of the anti-fraternization rules at work, and he was older than she wanted.

The next choice was Morgan. His pro column was pretty extensive. He was attractive, very intelligent, physically strong, sensitive in his own way, and he worked as hard as any of them on the job, he had a great sense of humor, and he loved his family.

The cons were more difficult and easy at the same time: he never knew when to stop in time when teasing Reid, he refused to settle down with one woman, and he had a very hot temper that boiled over at the least provocation. He disregarded his own safety many times when trying to take down a un-sub.

The last person on her list after she also listed a few guys she knew outside of work was Reid. It was a short conversation with him, about if he wanted to have baby geniuses, which had started her thinking about in-vitro or artificial insemination, a few weeks ago.

His pro list was very easy: attractive, a genius, kind, gentle, young, he liked magic and was good at it, he was capable of incredible leaps of logic and intuition that helped them solve a lot of difficult cases, and he had a way of making them laugh without meaning to.

The cons list was pretty extensive too: interesting fashion sense, young, she'd heard that kids didn't like him, he went off on strange tangents and quoted statistics at the least appropriate times, there was mental illness in his family, but he was past the age of onset, and he had a tendency to get into life threatening situations with distressing regularity. Hopefully that wouldn't be passed on in the genes!

"Well Sophie, the list is done. Now _how_ do I make up my mind?"

Sophie meowed and jumped off the bed. She left the bedroom with her tail in the air.

"A lot of help _you_ are," Emily yelled after the disappearing cat.

She picked up the plate of cookies and ate two more before admitting that she already knew who her choice was. It had been obvious from the moment she'd first considered doing this crazy thing.

The only thing left to do was to ask her choice if he'd help her. Oh yeah, that was going to be the _easy_ part!


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/n thank you all for your wonderful reviews. And thanks to my wonderful Beta REIDFANATIC for giving me this idea in the first place. Please see the first chapter for warnings and disclaimers**_

Emily looked up at the television that hung over the bullpen. The clock in one corner of the screen read two thirty-seven pm. Time seemed to have slowed to a glacier crawl since she had gotten to work at nine am that morning.

She looked back down at the file Jordan had given her. A Detective Olson in New Jersey was looking for a serial arsonist that had been starting fires with propane as an accelerant. The fires were spread out all over the docks. The un-sub was leaving notes that seemed to indicate that he was part of a group like Earth Rescue that burned SUV dealerships and the like.

So far, the fires hadn't killed anyone, but they had destroyed valuable merchandise. All of the fires had been set within warehouses the un-sub had indicated in his notes to be destroying the planet.

"Emily…"

Her head whipped up at the sound of Reid's voice. He was looking at her with a clear question in his chocolate brown eyes.

_"Is everything okay?" He inquired softly._

"_Yes!" _She replied very testily.

He didn't look insulted by the tone in her voice. Instead, he looked nonplussed and very patient with her anger. His eyebrows went up but his eyes just remained curious.

"You were tapping your fingers on the desk. Rather loudly," he added. "It was distracting."

"_Really! _I didn't think anything could distract you." She said sarcastically, unable to stop the words or the tone in which they left her mouth.

Reid rubbed his jaw with one hand, the way he often did when confronted with a very perplexing problem. He still looked confused and it fired the blood in her veins.

"I'm sorry if I distracted you, but I have another ten cases sitting here on my desk that I need to get through. I have a doctor's appointment at four and I'm not going to finish these files before I have to go. Excuse me if I'm a little _stressed!" _

"Okay…" He bent his head back over his work.

"_Oh no Dr Reid. _You don't get to say that and then just go back to work."

He looked up at her again, and the confusion was still in his eyes. "I'm sorry if I overstepped."

His chocolate eyes and his frown were making him look about seven years old and it made her stomach churn with guilt.

"It's not your fault. I guess I'm the one that's been thinking too hard this time."

"Can I help," He asked again, more gently than he should have.

_Why didn't he get mad and tell her off for treating him like that? _

"Yeah, I'd like that." She passed over the file.

He read the details in seconds and then handed it back to her. "Detective Olson needs to look at the mob."

"What?! How did you…" She shut up because it was useless to ask how he made the logical leaps he made everyday on cases.

"The pattern of the fires is very telling. The first fire was started on October 7th…"

She listened to him recite the case and pull it apart in a way that she hadn't thought about. It was like watching a magician pulling off a difficult trick, or a talented surgeon ply his scalpel with the ease of a concert pianist.

"Wow, I wouldn't have thought about it like that?"

"The fires are being set to throw off suspicion from the organized crime working in the docks. If they make it look like environmentalists are behind it, they don't have to worry about the police."

"Thanks, I guess I really am tired."

"No problem." He went back to his file while she called the Detective and gave him her recommendations to find the perpetrators.

She hung up the phone and looked over at Reid, who was back to work as though she hadn't interrupted him with her impatience. His forgiving attitude made the guilt she'd been feeling increase tenfold.

When he didn't look up at her stare, she went back to work. The pile on her desk didn't diminish with the passage of time. Soon it was three-thirty and time to leave for her appointment.

She put the files away in her desk and locked it. She was out of her chair and had taken three steps from her desk when Reid said behind her.

"I hope you feel better."

She turned back to see him looking at her and his cheeks were a bit pink.

"I'm fine, just my yearly physical."

"Oh… well, I'll see you on Monday then."

"Sure Reid, have a good weekend."

"You too Emily…" He watched her walk away and before he could stop the words he said. "Are you sure nothing's bothering you.?"

She turned back and her first impulse to tell him to mind his own business was quashed under the weight of the concern in his face.

"I really am just tired. I'm going to get this chore over with and then go home and crash."

"Okay… See you later."

She almost laughed at the little wave he gave her. Then the feeling that she'd better be careful not to just blurt out the truth before she was ready crept back into her head. He had a way of making people confide in him without thinking about it. It must have something to do with his eyes… Whatever it was, it was powerful. It was a good thing it was the weekend. Hopefully he'd forget about her and on Monday everything would be back to normal.

---

"Emily Prentiss?"

The voice of the nurse penetrated through the fog in her thoughts. She'd been staring at the same page in the same magazine she'd picked up fifteen minutes ago.

"Yeah…"

She dropped the magazine onto the coffee table in front of her. The nurse was smiling at her from the doorway that led back to her doctor's examination rooms.

"Hi Emily, How are you?"

"I'm fine Rocky… How are the kids?"

"Steve is fifteen now, and Ann is twelve."

"I can't believe it. I remember when Ann was five!"

Rocky took her into the first examination room. "I know, it doesn't seem possible."

She sat down on a small stool in front of the table that held a computer. She brought up Emily's file and began to enter in the reason for the visit while Emily sat down on the bench at one side of the room.

"I have new pictures to show you when you're done here."

"I'll come find you when I'm done." Emily promised.

"Okay, let's get your blood pressure and your temperature."

Emily submitted to having the blood pressure cuff placed around her arm and the thermometer stuck in her ear.

Rocky added 98.3 and 118 over 78 with a pulse of 68 to Emily's computer file with a nod and a smile as if Emily had performed a good trick.

"Come on; let's go get you weighed and the rest of your lab work done."

Emily let herself be led away, weighed, poked for blood, and she peed in a cup. Rocky was in the room when she came back. "Strip down and put on the gown. She'll be in with you in a minute."

She put on the gown and climbed up on the examination table. Too late she realized that the magazines were across the room. So she sat there with her legs hanging over the edge, trying to keep her mind blank of all the sudden doubts she was having.

A knock sounded on the door and a tall woman with light brown hair and ice blue eyes entered the room.

"Hey Emily… How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"You know, I only see you once a year for your physical, but I can see that something is bothering you."

"I really am fine. You know how much I hate physicals."

Dr. St. John laughed and the laughter brought warmth to the icy blue of her eyes. "If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that from a patient."

Emily laughed, "I don't suppose there are many people out there that actually like to be poked and prodded."

"No, but I'll try to make this as painless as possible."

---

Emily had finished dressing when Dr. St. John came back into the room. "Okay, I've done all the fun doctor stuff. Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

"Why do you think something is bothering me?" Emily was looking down at her shoes instead of into her doctors eyes.

"Because you have a question in your eyes."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you'd make a great profiler?"

"No, and stop changing the subject."

"Okay, but you're going to think I'm crazy."

"Tell me !"

"I want to have a baby."

Dr. St. John raised both of her eyebrows. She sat down slowly on the stool next to the computer. "I have to admit that I wasn't expecting that."

"So you think I wouldn't be a good mother."

"No! Don't put words in my mouth Emily. I think you'd make a great mother. I'm just concerned because of your age and -"

"I know! I'm not a spring chicken anymore. But, I'm also not an old woman."

Dr. St. John put down the clipboard she'd been holding. "I don't have all your test results yet, but from what I can see you're in great health. You're strong and you have a good paying job. But, you are near forty, which means your eggs are near forty."

"Judy…"

"I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just reminding you that your eggs have a shelf life that's getting older by the minute.

"I've thought of that… It's the only thing I can think of lately. I wanted to ask you for a referral to a fertility specialist."

"Whoa, wait just a minute… I thought you'd finally found the right guy."

"I did Judy, but it's not what you think."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Can you trust me?

"I don't know if I should."

"I promise I know what I'm doing."

"Okay, I'll give you a referral to a friend of mine that's also a very good fertility specialist. If he thinks you can safely conceive, then I say congratulations."

Emily felt a certain amount of relief course through her veins. "So you're saying that artificial insemination might work for me?"

"Well I'm not an expert, but I think it will. You're in great health."

"Thanks Judy, I really appreciate it."

"Don't thank me. You might regret this."

"No I won't, I really want to have a baby Judy. I can be a great mom."

"Children need fathers too."

"I have that covered. There's a really great guy at work that I want to ask to be my designated donor. "

Dr. St John narrowed her eyes at Emily. "If he's so great, why don't you just do this the old fashioned way? There's more to being a father then providing DNA."

"I don't care for him that way Judy. He's a really good friend."

The doctor appraised her friend and decided that it wasn't a good idea to voice her opinion that Emily was already in love with this mystery man.

_I hope whoever he is - he'll do this for her. _

Dr. St John wrote a name and number on a pad of paper and gave it to Emily. "I hope for your sake you're right."


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/n once again, thanks to all my faithful readers. **_

_**Warning: See the first chapter.**_

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

Emily pulled on the red tank top that hung closest to the door of the hotel closet. She pulled on a pair of dark blue slacks and her matching flat heeled shoes. Her gun was on the small table in the corner with her holster. It was going to be too hot for a jacket and so she left it hanging in the closet. She hung up her pajamas in the small closet and shut the door.

The room she was staying in was small, but well cared for and the air conditioner worked. She was on her own for this trip as Jordan had been able to get them all their own rooms. The case was going badly and she expected to be in this room for at least another day.

"It doesn't matter, as long as you get back for your appointment with Dr. Kelly in two days."

Her hands started to shake at the thought of going to the fertility specialist. Dr. St. John said that Dr. Steven Kelly was the best fertility specialist in the country and he was right there in DC.

_Pretty convenient, don't you think?_

The nagging little voice that had been trying to get her to reconsider her determination was becoming very annoyingon this case. She headed into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

_Is it annoying or is it being realistic? _

"Stop it!" She said to her reflection in the mirror after spitting out her toothpaste.

She picked up her hairbrush and brushed out her hair. Her bangs were getting a little long. She needed to get them trimmed when they got back to DC.

She'd just picked up her gun and put in her the holster when her cell phone began to dance across the bathroom counter top.

"Prentiss," She answered the phone and picked up her badge from the faux marble counter top.

"_Emily," _Morgan said. _"We've got a hot lead on the girl. Hotch wants us to meet outside now." _

"Okay."

She shut the phone, pulled a rubber band out of her pocket and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. There was no time to worry about her problems, not when a two year old girl was out there somewhere with a child serial killer.

---

The house they were looking for had once been painted an unfortunate purple color. Emily looked at it from the back seat of the SUV the Phoenix police had given to them to use while they were in Arizona. Now the paint had faded to lilac and looked like it belonged in a child's animated cartoon.

The SUV pulled up the long gravel drive, passing cacti and large grey rocks scattered along the sides of the road, and in front of the patio. The grass that one might see in front of a home in DC wasn't there. There was only dirt the color of ash.

They piled out of the truck and Hotch indicated silently for her and Reid to go around to the back of the house. The driveway had been empty, so they didn't know if Rodney Atwood was home. They had been assured by Garcia that this was his home.

"Go in ten!" Hotch whispered.

They separated into two groups so smoothly it was like watching the bow of a boat cut through deep blue waters of the ocean.

The house was in disrepair, with the paint peeling and the windows so dirty that no one would see them if they happened to look out of one of them. That also meant that they couldn't see inside. The wind blew over her hair and would have put it in her eyes if not for her ponytail. It was hot, even though it was November. The dust pushed around by the wind got into everything and was as gritty as sand from the beach. The wind picked up and swirled it around in front of her, momentarily blinding her. Then it cleared just as they reached the northeast corner of the house.

Reid was in front of her with his gun held in two hands in front of him. She followed him with hers held low. They rounded the corner of the house to the back door that was situated almost at the far corner of the house.

They hit the door at the same time Hotch, Rossi, and Morgan hit the front door. The kitchen was the first room they entered. The floor was filthy and the smell was nearly overpowering. Dirty dishes littered the countertop that should have been white tile, but who could tell under the stains of coffee and unnamable foods.

Reid jumped when a rat ran past him squeaking like a toy with a broken spring. Emily nearly yelped in revulsion, only her strict training kept her quiet. Reid preceded her to the hallway that passed a table piled with dirty dishes and two magazines that looked like hard core pornography to her.

The musty smell of the kitchen followed them into the hallway where they met Hotch and the others. He led them down the narrow hallway. The hardwood floors squeaked under their feet as they moved and separated to take the rooms that led off the hallway.

Emily took the last door, pushing it open with her free hand. The first thing her eyes fell on when she entered the room was a very fat and unkempt man, knelt over the small girl they'd been looking for.

"_FBI_," She said firmly, leveling her gun on the man who spun around.

"You're too late cop_ bitch_," He spat out at her.

He was holding a small handgun at his side. She tried to risk a glance to the girl, but the man blocked her view with his body.

His brown pants were stained and the white tee shirt he wore in the warm room was grey and stained with food and sweat. The heat of the house was making sweat roll down her face to her neck. It tickled down the side of her jaw, but her hands didn't waver.

"Put the gun down and put your hands on your head."

"I don't think so."

He brought up the gun and she shot him straight through the heart. He fell with a thud that shook the house to its foundations. Dust rose up off the floor when he impacted with it, narrowly missing falling on top of the child that lay on a stained mattress.

Emily entered the room and kicked away the man's gun. She was loath to touch him, but she had to know if he was alive. There was no pulse at his neck. She stepped over him as the rest of the team entered the hot little room.

"Katie…" The little girl lay on her side and didn't move when Emily knelt down next to her. "I'm the police honey. Its okay - we're going to take you to your mama."

She touched the child and the little girl fell over onto her back. He lips were blue and the nylon stocking the man had used to strangle her was still tied around her little neck. The whites of her open and staring eyes were red with petechial hemorrhaging.

_"No!"_

The face of the girl changed in front of her and became another little face. It was a perfect face with sculpted cheek bones, a perfectly formed mouth and curly dark brown hair. The eyes staring up at here weren't blue, they were brown… Oh god,_ no..._ not him! Not _now_, don't think about him now. She blinked against the tears and the sweat that was rolling down her face. The smell of urine, and blood, and other terrible things were trying to get her stomach to rebel.

"_No!"_ She didn't realize that she was screaming.

"Emily…"

Hotch had knelt down next to her, and his face was expressionless as he looked down at the child lying in a broken heap on the blood stained mattress.

"Prentiss," He put a hand on her shoulder.

"Leave me _alone_!" She shook him off and got up. The rest of the team was standing there staring at the terrible scene with varying expressions of disgust and anger on all of their faces. The small child had been beaten and she was nude, denied the final dignities of her short life.

Emily pushed past Rossi, who tried to say something. "Not now," Her voice trembled and tears began to fall. She had to get out of there as fast as she could. The heat got worse as she slammed out of the back door. It was like a living thing that was trying to reach into her throat and strangle her like the little girl she'd just left.

She should go back and be with the tiny child in this terrible moment, but her stomach was rebelling against her. She stumbled down the steps from the back door into the hot sunny day. The golden light that was beating down on the sun baked earth felt like it could fry everything out of her head.

_It's your fault!_

_No…it's not my fault!_

She ran to the edge of the property and threw up the remains of the dinner that was so long ago. She didn't hear the person that came up behind her until a hesitant hand fell on her shoulder.

"Leave me alone," She croaked out the words over acid burned vocal cords.

"No!" His quiet and normally subdued voice surprised her in its intensity.

"Please just go away."

"I can't," He said while she swiped a hand over her mouth and lips.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I know…"

"I can't… I don't want… Why couldn't we get here in time to save that little girl?"

"I don't know."

She turned and hit him in the chest. The flack jacket hurt her hand and that was what made her cry. "How do you not know? You know everything… You always have all the answers when it comes to some stupid statistics. Why can't you tell me the answer to _this_? You're supposed to have the _answers_!"

He just stood there looking at her like she might lose it completely and hit him again. His short, wavy brown hair blew over his face, and his large puppy dog eyes were glued to her face like it was the most important thing for him to be doing in that moment.

The silence under the whine of the wind dragged out till she broke the stare between then and left him standing there. She walked away from him and went back around the house to the SUV sitting there in the harsh light of day.

She walked away from the urge to jump into his arms and take comfort in the loss of this little girl. Her pride in being able to compartmentalize all of the horror she faced day in and day out seemed foolish.

_After pride cometh the fall! _

_No,_ it was necessary to put it away. If she didn't, it would drive her crazy. She would burnout…If she had to leave the team and the people she loved, it would kill her.

Sweat fell into her eyes and mixed with the tears. It stung like a son of a bitch. Salty tears crept into the corners of her mouth. She walked faster and faster, nearly running by the time she climbed into the stifling SUV and rolled down a window.

Tears were still running down her face when the door opened the Reid slipped into the back seat with her.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I know… I'm just going to wait here till the scene is clear."

"It's too hot in this car."

"It's _hot _outside too!"

"Fine," She turned her head to the window and watched the state police and the coroner's car arrive.

"Emily, did you know that the average temperature in Arizona this time of year is seventy-five degrees Fahrenheit. It's about eighty-seven right now and the hottest it's ever been in November is ninety-three. Arizona gets an average of -"

"Shut up Reid! I don't want to hear about temperature statistics right now. I can't believe that you're talking about that right now. A little girl is dead in there. We should have saved her."

More tears fell as her anger grew at the world and at a God who would let this happen.

"I know that Emily," He said quietly. "What I don't know is what's bothering you."

"I'm angry because she's dead and we weren't fast enough to save her."

"What else is bothering you?"

"I thought we agreed not to profile each other."

"We did," He said while pulling a coin out of his pocket. He began to make it dance across his hands as though it could move on its own.

"Okay," He flipped the coin caught it and held it in one long fingered hand. He put the other hand over the coin and looked up at Emily.

"Call it…"

"What…"

"Call it…"

"I'm not playing games with you Reid."

"Call it and if I win, you tell me what's bothering you."

"And if I win…"

"I'll leave you alone until you're ready to talk about what's bothering you."

"I don't trust you. You're a magician."

"I won't cheat."

"Flip it again and I'll call it in the air."

"Fine," He flipped it into the air.

"_Heads_," She called as the coin flew out of his long fingers.

He caught the coin, a quarter that shone silver in the air, in his hands. When he showed her what it was she grinned. "_Good_, its heads… So what else do you want to talk about?"

"How about we go three out of five?" He asked, his hazel eyes pleaded with her.

"_No_, you promised you'd let me talk about things when I'm ready."

"So what else is going on?" He asked with so much excitement, it made her laugh. "That's better," He said with a smile. "It's okay to be sad. There's nothing that we can do about the death that we see. Gideon told me after I killed Philip Dowd, that I did what I had to do and that I didn't have to feel a certain way about what I had done. You did what you had to do in there. You killed a man who was a _sick_ and _depraved_ individual. He preyed on children. We couldn't stop him from killing that poor little girl, but at least he won't hurt anyone else. No one can tell you how to feel about it. I _know _she'll take her place in my nightmares for awhile, but there's nothing I can do about that except work harder to catch the next one."

"You're pretty wise for a young guy."

"When is everyone going to stop calling me kid, or wet behind the ears?" He whined, while playing with the coin again.

"When you get to be older than twenty-seven," she said in a motherly tone.

"There's nothing wrong with being young." He retorted while making the coin disappear.

The coin reappeared in his fingers and he was concentrating very hard on the next trick. The coin continued to flash silver light in the car's interior, so he didn't see the smile that came over her face.

"No, there's nothing wrong with being young." She agreed.

He flipped the coin and as she watched it arc up through the air, the sudden realization that life might be at the mercy of the cruel designs of Fate hit her. Garcia told her once that she believed that everything happened for a reason. Perhaps that meant that the death of a small girl might have a purpose too. It wasn't the answer that she wanted, but it was all she had.

_Maybe your child will make a difference._

The coin caught her eye again. Would Reid say yes or no to her plan? Would it come down to the flip of another coin or would it be easy? She didn't know, but another two days, and seeing her new doctor, would tell the tale.

He was grinning at her again. She smiled back and when the door opened letting Morgan into the driver's seat she was steady again.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/n here's the next chapter. Thanks again to all my faithful readers. You guys are the best. **_

_**Warning: See my profile**_

_**Disclaimers: See my profile **_

The Silver Pines Fertility Clinic looked very innocent from the outside. It was built from red brick and steel. White pine and Scotch pines surrounded the two story building. The grass that had been green during the summer months was now turning golden-yellow.

The wind was blowing, and white clouds were scuttling across the blue sky, when Emily got out of the car she'd parked in a space next to the handicapped space. She looked at the building for a minute before walking up the concrete sidewalk to the front door.

There were several people in the waiting room. Some of the women that were waiting, were obviously pregnant, and this sent Emily's heartbeat into overdrive. For a minute she thought seriously about turning around and running away from there as fast as she could. She didn't need to be here. It was a crazy idea that would never work. She'd just leave and -

The girl working at the desk looked up and smiled widely with brilliant white teeth. "May I help you?"

_You can't run now! _

"Um… yeah… My name," her voice cracked and she had to clear her throat while her face went hot. "I'm Emily Prentiss."

The girl smiled again in the same way you might smile to reassure someone that might bolt at any second. She held out a clipboard and Emily felt no choice but to cross the distance and take if from her.

"Pleas sign in and fill out these forms."

She showed Emily that the white, blue and yellow pages needed to be filled out completely and the last white page signed and initialed.

"There's no end to paperwork." Emily mumbled and the girl smiled again as though indulging her.

"You can take a seat right over there," She pointed with her perfectly polished red fingernail.

Emily obediently 'took a seat' and began reading over the forms she had to fill out. _Why do you have to regurgitate your whole life and medical history every time you see a new doctor?_

She picked up the pen that was attached to the clipboard by a thin chain. It was a list of questions that was the same on any medical questionnaire she filled out over her lifetime till she got to the back of the second page.

Her head began to spin and her mouth went dry. Her heart was pumping so fast that it felt like a hummingbird trying to burst out of her chest. The edges around her eyes went gray and she bit down on her tongue to keep from fainting. The taste of copper blood in her mouth and the pain brought the world back into focus. She looked up from under her bangs, but no one seemed to notice her distress. She dropped the pen and it swung back and forth on the end of the chain. She watched it swing and ignored the questionnaire till a male voice from her right caught her attention.

"… Honey, it's going to work this time."

"We don't know that!"

She looked up and saw a young man with light blond hair and grey eyes talking to a woman with dark brown hair. She was turned toward the man so that Emily couldn't see her face, but her posture spoke volumes without words.

"It's going to be okay." He promised her and kissed her head.

"I just want this to be the last time."

"It will _be_! We have to have faith."

Emily went back to the list of questions and finished filling them out with a trembling hand. The couple next to her had suffered disappointment in this quest to have a child. They were continuing on. She had to do the same thing, no matter what it took.

Her hand was steady as a rock when she took the clipboard back to the receptionist. The young blond woman with green eyes smiled up and she and then her smiled faltered a bit. "You don't look well ma'am! Can I get you a glass of water?"

"No! Um, I mean yeah, that would be great."

She went back to her chair and sat down. She looked at the magazine on the table in front of the chairs, but didn't pick it up. The receptionist brought a paper cup shaped like a cone to her. "Are you sure you're okay ma'am."

"Yes thank you."

"Okay, the doctor will be with you in a minute."

It was twenty minutes before her name was called by a nurse with black hair and Asian features. She spoke with a quiet voice and her hand was gentle on Emily's arm as she guided her to the examination room. She took the same stats that Rocky had at Dr. St. Johns office. Her blood pressure was higher than what was normal for her, but not high enough to cause comment from the nurse. Her temperature was normal and her pulse the same as was normal for her.

"The doctor will be in here soon."

_Why do nurses say that and then you wait another twenty minutes?_

In reality, it was only two minutes before the doctor came into the room. He was tall, about three inches taller than Reid she judged. His hair was perfectly combed with a part at the left side. It was jet black and his eyes were brown. His skin was lightly tanned. He wore a charcoal grey suit under his white lab coat. His tie was dark blue with silver grey diagonal stripes. The shirt he wore matched the blue of the tie. He had a gold signet ring on his right pinky and a plain gold wedding band on his left hand.

"Hello Miss Prentiss… I'm Dr. Steven Kelly.

"It's nice to meet you."

"Dr. St. John tells me you're considering becoming pregnant."

"Yes… I'm not getting any younger and well - I just don't see marriage in my future, or any long term relationship."

"I have had many single women in their late thirties that come to me with those same concerns. We'll do everything we can to make this successful for you."

"Thank you doctor," She said.

"Now, I do have a concern. As you know, I went to medical school with Dr. St. John and I trust her judgment."

"I'm glad," Emily was a little taken aback at the sudden change in the doctor's tone."

"What I mean to say," He said, taking a seat in the chair across from where Emily sat. "Is that I get confused when a patient doesn't disclose the answers to questions vital to our consultation."

Emily looked at her hands and the doctor waited in silence till she looked up. He didn't look mad, instead he looked intensely concerned. "If we're going to succeed, I need you to be honest with me."

"I'm sorry… It was just a difficult thing to remember. I hadn't thought about my baby for a very long time. I know that sounds very callous, but I was seventeen at the time. My mother was so angry. She thought I was ruining my life. The baby had the cord wrapped around her neck. I didn't see the doctor like I was supposed to and…" Tears began despite biting the inside of her mouth to stop them. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Ms. Prentiss. You were so young. It's only natural that it's a painful memory for you."

"It was my fault."

"Why do you say that?" He asked while writing on her chart.

"I was stupid and didn't go to the doctor till it was too late. I was trying to hide the pregnancy from my parents. I didn't think that I could hurt the baby. Maybe I didn't care…"

"I'm so sorry." He said, and didn't attempt to excuse her behavior which reassured her in an odd sort of way. She accepted a white handkerchief from the doctor. "You're an adult Agent Prentiss. This time you're going to do everything you need to do to have a healthy baby.

"Yes I will. I'll do what ever I have to do. I'll do whatever you tell me to do. I want this baby so much."

"Then let's get started."

They went over the options that were available to Emily. She listened and tried to ask intelligent questions. When the doctor finished explaining the difference between in-vitro fertilization and artificial insemination, she felt relaxed and excited about the process.

"Now, artificial insemination is usually recommended for single women. It's cheaper than in-vitro and the donors are usually anonymous."

"I have someone in mind to be a donor."

"Okay, I'll need to see him too."

"I haven't asked him yet. I wanted to be sure that I could conceive safely."

"I'll be able to tell you that after some blood tests. I need to get a look at your hormone levels. We'll also do the RH test."

"I'm RH negative."

"Then I'll confirm it and test your donor too. If he's RH negative, it won't be a problem. If he is, we'll deal with it including giving you Anti D shots if necessary."

"Okay - where do I go for the tests?"

"We have a lab here, but before I send you there I want to impose several restrictions on you."

"Okay…"

"You have a dangerous and stressful job. Your age, and your stress levels could be detrimental to the baby. I'm going to be watching you very closely. If I tell you to go on leave from your job, you'll do it immediately. If I tell you not to travel or reduce your stress, I need you to do it immediately. Is that understood?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Good, make sure you tell your boss what you're doing so he can make sure that leave is approved with your HR department if you need it."

"I will."

"When you've talked to your friend about being your donor, call and make an appointment. We can do donation and testing here. He'll have to be tested for all STDs and HIV. Normally, a sperm sample would be frozen for six months to rule out HIV."

"That won't be necessary Doctor."

"Why not?" He asked his eyebrows had lifted into his hair.

"I'd prefer to let him explain that to you."

"Alright, "He said. "Now, let's get you down to the lab."

---

Emily picked up her phone and dialed the familiar number before her nerves could get the better of her.

"_Reid," _A distracted voice floated out to her and she swallowed very hard.

"Reid, its Emily," Her voice cracked again and she winced at the way it sounded like Reid.

"_Hi Emily, Um… What did you need?"_

"Would you meet me at park next to the city library in twenty minutes?"

He was quiet for so long that she was about to call his name when he said, _"Why?"_

"I just need to talk to you. Can you please meet me? I'll buy you a cup of coffee."

"_Okay." _

He hung and she went to her car. It was Saturday morning, just before lunch and they were actually off for the weekend. Two days had passed since she'd seen her doctor. Just that morning the nurse had called to say that her tests indicated that she would be able to conceive after a course of medication to stimulate egg production.

She went over the details of that conversation in her head over and over again while driving to Starbucks. She had just enough time to get Reid's favorite drink and make it back to the park. In fact, she was parking just as his ancient Volvo pulled into the parking lot.

"Hi Emily, "He greeted her with a shy smile.

_Oh God! This was going to be more difficult then she imagined. _


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/n here's the next chapter for you. Once again I must thank my wonderful beta for all of her help on the medical end of this and checking my chapters for grammer and spelling mistakes. She's the best!**_

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter.**_

The park had benches scattered around the grass that was turning yellow. There were picnic benches in the interior of the layout with separate grilling stations around them. She turned away from Reid and headed toward one of the picnic areas.

"Emily…"

He was walking next to her, so close that she could feel the warmth of his body radiating out toward her. It reminded her that he was a living human being with feelings. It was time to tread carefully.

_How do you say to him, "Hi there… I want to have a baby. Will you let me have some of your sperm?_

_Yeah, that would go over really well. You'll be lucky if he doesn't run screaming into the beautiful yellow sunshine. _

"Emily…"

She glanced over at him as they walked across the grass, and over leaves, that crunched under their feet with popping noises. It was a noise that reminded her of living in DC as a child on a large estate and playing in the leaves the gardeners gathered to burn.

He was staring at her with those big brown eyes that had no trouble reading her soul and knowing the truth of what was behind the mask she wore. _How could anyone look at the atrocities we see everyday and still retain that expression of 'little boy innocence,' and naiveté?_

She remembered every time he'd been kidnapped, or tortured or held hostage, and how that hurt her to watch. And there were the times he put himself in danger deliberately as a means to an end in a case. How did he stay so kind, and gentle, when so many terrible things happened to him on a regular basis.

"Emily…" He sounded put out and she stopped when he put a hand on her arm.

"What?" She said inanely.

"You wanted to talk to me." He prodded.

"Oh yeah, um… here's your coffee. Can we sit over there?"

She indicated the picnic table that was painted green. It was a dark forest green that looked new. It was bright against the brown leaves and the dead grass. It looked like it belonged to springtime, not fall.

"Sure…"

He sat down and put his cooling coffee on the table. She sat down across from him, putting the table between them as a shield.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," She kept her eyes on the dark green paint of the table instead of on his eyes. "You remember that I promised you I would tell you what was bothering me when we were in Arizona last week?"

"Yes."

"Well, there is something that I have been thinking about doing for a long time and I suddenly made the decision to go forward. I wanted to get everything settled before I talked to you."

He choked on the coffee she'd brought him. "What did I do?"

"Nothing… It's just that I had to see the doctor and -"

He snapped up straight on the bench. "What's wrong Emily? Are you sick?" His voice had gone down a couple of octaves instead of up to a squeak.

"No! I'm not _sick_." She snapped it out and then smiled at him. "I'm sorry… This is just very hard for me."

"It's okay… You can tell me." He played with the edge of the paper cup while the wind blew his hair over his glasses and into his face.

"I know. Everyone confides in you. It must be a real burden on you."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Stop stalling…"

"I agree with Garcia, I hate profilers."

"You don't hate yourself."

"What?"

He took another sip from his coffee. "You don't hate yourself. You said you hate profilers and you're a profiler."

"You're so literal Reid. Of course I don't hate myself. "

"Then why don't you tell me what you called me here ask," He asked.

"How do you know I want to ask you anything?"

He pulled off his sunglasses and pinned her with his eyes. "People confide in me and then they ask -"

"Okay, I want to have a baby." She interrupted.

Reid went white and dropped the coffee cup on the ground, where it spilled out the rest of the coffee onto the concrete slab under the table. Coffee ran down to the grass and disappeared into the golden sod.

"_What_," He choked out in a squeak so high it would have set dogs howling if there had been any in the park.

"Calm down Reid, I'm not proposing marriage or anything indecent."

"But -"

"I'm looking at getting artificially inseminated. I need a donor."

His face went crimson and he slipped his sunglasses back on this face. He reached for the cup that was on the ground. His hand was no where near the target though, so his fingers brushed over the empty space as if seeking something to grasp and hold against her words.

"You're going to have stroke if you don't calm down." She said.

"I can't believe you just said that. You spring something like this on me and then make a joke." He was still squeaking.

"I'm sorry Reid. I didn't mean to make fun. You don't know how hard this was for me to do."

The color had drained out of his face again. He was looking down at his hands as he spoke, "Why me?"

He sounded so perplexed that Emily almost laughed, but choked it back. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, I don't understand why you're asking me."

"I made a pros and cons list of all the guys at work and a couple of guys I know outside of work. You were the best choice. Do you want to see the list?"

"You made a _list_?"

The surprise in his voice and his face irritated her just a little. "Yeah, I made a list! Is that so hard for you to believe?"

"Don't get mad at me. You're the one that just asked me to be a sperm donor." He whispered loudly.

"I'm sorry… I'm very nervous. I didn't want to go with an anonymous donor. I wanted to know that the father of my child was a good man. I wanted someone smart, and kind and gentle. Good looks, which you have in spades, are a plus."

"Don't tease me." He demanded.

"I'm not teasing you."

"I don't understand."

"Look… this was a mistake. I'm going to go now."

She stood up and left him sitting there at the picnic table, staring after her. Tears were running down her face and she began to run, not stopping till she got to her car. She unlocked the door, got inside and slammed the door.

"Damn it!" She shouted and banged her hands on the steering wheel. The horn honked under her fists with an indignant bleat.

"_Shit," _She started the engine despite the tears that blinded her eyes. "_Stupid_…" She said between clenched teeth. "What were you thinking?"

A hand hitting her window made her jump. Reid was standing there and he looked scared to death. "Emily, please _wait_…"

"What?"

He made a 'roll down,' motion with his hand. She hesitated so long that he hung his head and began to turn away.

"Wait," She opened the door. "I'm sorry Reid. I didn't plan for this conversation to go this way."

"I'm sorry too. I was surprised."

She got back out of the car and shut the door. The wind had begun to pick up again. Her thin jacket wasn't doing a lot to block it. She shivered slightly and Reid put a long fingered hand on her arm.

"It's cold… "

"Yeah…"

She watched his cheeks go pink, whether is was from the wind sliding around them like spirits gliding past in a haunted house, or the subject they were thinking about she couldn't tell.

"I need time to think about this Emily. I'm sorry that I can't give you an answer right away."

Her heart sunk down into her shoes… Disappointment clawed its way into her gut and made her feel sick and like crying.

_He didn't say no!_

_Yeah, but that might mean he's stalling for a way to let me down easy. God, what if he tells Morgan!_

"I understand!" She said, looking him straight in the eye. "I have to ask you not to tell anyone on the team. I don't want them to treat me or you differently. You know how Morgan is. He'll never let you live it down."

"But-"

"I mean it Reid. You're going to have to make this decision on your own."

He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "I understand."

He'd taken off his sunglasses again and the eyes that seemed to show every emotion understood. She sighed in relief and then stepped forward to hug him briefly. His body tensed the same way it had on that night the religious compound in Colorado had blown up and she feared that he and Morgan were dead.

He relaxed after a few seconds just as he'd down on that night and hugged her back. She pulled away and made sure that her face was wearing a genuine smile.

"Thank you for thinking about it."

"Sure…" He said softly. "Um… I'll see you at work on Monday."

"Yeah…"

Then he was gone into the late morning air and she was back in her car, wondering if she'd just ended a wonderful friendship with an extraordinary man.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**Warning: See my profile and the first chapter.**_

Reid drove home in a bit of a daze. The skeletal trees that lined the streets went by him in a blur, as did the buildings he passed. Everything seemed to have taken on bright colors that ran together like a water color painting left out in the rain.

His car seemed to know the way home, and he got there on auto pilot without him making a conscious effort to direct it. Not the smartest thing, but he just couldn't seem to concentrate on anything other than the bombshell Emily had dropped on him.

Admittedly, he'd noticed that she wasn't acting the way he'd always come to expect from her. Ever since they'd come back from Colorado, she seemed to watch him closer and fuss over him a bit. Since it was something that his mother had done all his life, he sort of liked it now that she was in an institution and not around all the time. Not that he would ever admit it to her or anyone else on the team.

So what did that mean for his current predicament? He turned the car onto his street and debated how to come to a logical and final answer for her. He pulled his car into his reserved parking spot and shut off the ignition. His building suddenly looked like it might fall on him. His breath began to hitch in and out like he'd just run a mile at full speed. His chest hurt and he couldn't take his hands off the steering wheel.

_You're having a panic attack. Calm down before you faint from hyperventilation._

Of course, telling himself to calm down, didn't work. His vision got grey at the edges and he was getting pretty dizzy when someone banged on his window. He jumped and looked out to see one of his neighbors looking in at him.

_Great, now the neighbors think you're ready for the nut hatch. _

He waved at her, but she didn't walk away. She looked like she wouldn't take no for an answer if he asked to be left alone, so he got out of the car and turned to face her.

"Are you alright Dr. Reid?"

She was tiny, less then five feet tall. Her hair was very dark with streaks of grey. She had it tied back in a pony tail and she was carrying a grocery bag.

"I'm fine Mrs. Turner."

"Are you sure? You look very pale."

She peered up at him out of dark brown eyes. Her mouth had laugh lines, but she was frowning.

"I'm okay… I just got dizzy. I am kind of hungry so…"

He began to walk away from her. She followed him down the sidewalk and into the building. "I just made some brownies if you like."

"No!" He winced at the abruptness of his tone and the way she continued to frown up at him. "I mean, you should save them for your husband.

She was in her fifties and her husband was an insurance salesman. They had lost their home and had to rent till he got back on his feet she always told him.

"Well, you take care. It can't be that bad."

"What's not that bad?" He asked suspiciously.

"Whatever is bothering you - it will work out for the best."

She turned and headed back out to her car, leaving him gaping at her in her wake. He went to the elevator and pushed the button to go up. He put Mrs. Turner and her motherly ways, that weren't at all like the way Emily looked out for him out of his mind.

"Stop it!" He said out loud as the elevator doors opened.

He was relieved when no one was inside the car when he got on it. The ride up to the third floor was over too fast. His brain was trying to get past the thought that the way Emily watched over him was something he liked. Now she wanted him to donate sperm so she could get pregnant.

_Why doesn't she want to do it the old fashioned way?_

He dropped his keys outside his door and felt his face burst into flame at the thought. Why had his brain gone _there_?

She was his friend and she took care of him like a mother or a sister. She obviously didn't want him in the way a woman wanted a man.

_Do you think? You really are a genius!_

He finally got his keys into the lock and opened the door. He went inside and shut the door. He sagged back against the door and sighed. She didn't want that kind of relationship with him. That was good, he should be happy about it. He didn't want their friendship to change. It would be too hard to work together and be lovers too.

His face got hot again at the word 'lovers,' and he decided he needed something cold to drink. He went to his kitchen and tried to not think about her request while he made a sandwich.

As he passed the radio on the counter top, he turned it on. Celine Dion was singing something about

"_If you ask me, I might just change my mind and let you in forever." _

He flipped the station impatiently to some hard rock. Good, David Lee Roth was singing with Van Halen about cars and girl. He couldn't take another love song.

His kitchen was small. It had yellow white tile on the floor and matching counter tops. The appliances with light yellow too. He supposed it was intended to be soothing, but at times it got on his nerves. He should buy a condo like what Emily had. At least if he owned his own place he could decorate it the way he wanted. Yeah, that would be good. He could paint his kitchen and …

_Stop it! Think about Emily and her request. You told her you would think about it! _

He pulled out a frying pan and set to making a fried egg sandwich for lunch. His mind stayed away from its task and everything else till the sandwich was made. He put it on a plate and poured himself a glass of orange juice from the refrigerator. More coffee was brewing on the counter for him to enjoy since the coffee Emily had brought him was watering the grass at the park.

He went to the living room and grabbed a book off his stack of unread library books. He read and at the same time thought seriously about her request. It was time to make a pros and cons list, just as she had. He admitted to himself that it had surprised him that she would do that. He expected that she'd choose him for some other random reason.

His pros list went something like this: He'd make a friend happy. Henry seemed to like him okay. He would be close enough to star in his child's life since they worked together."

His cons list went something like this: If he was a donor that meant technically, he would be a father. What if he was like his father? Morgan would tease him when he found out and eventually he would find out. He possibly had an inheritable mental condition that he couldn't, in good conscience, pass on to a child. He was tall, skinny, and he had the neck of a giraffe. What if the kid was shy like him? What if he was a genius like him and Emily decided to fast track his or her education and the kid got bullied? He couldn't watch that happen. What if Emily didn't want him in the kid's life?

The cons list was much longer than the pros. Thus, if he went about this decision in a logical and scientific manner, the answer had to be no.

If it was so easy, why was his stomach all was tied up in knots? If it was a matter of logic then he should be feeling good instead of like something was about to be missed that he needed.

The sandwich lay half eaten on the plate he'd taken from the cupboard. His glass of orange juice was forgotten. Instead, he went for his usual caffeine fix. His head was beginning to pound from the effort of trying to make up his mind.

His fingers itched to call Morgan or Garcia, but he'd made a promise to Emily. He'd make this decision on his own. He'd be an adult about it.

The coffee had got cold while he stood at the counter top thinking. He poured it out and went into the living room. He picked up another book and sat down to read, but his mind wouldn't stay still. He began to imagine what the baby might look like. Would it have Emily's hair color or his? Would it have her eyes or his? Would it be beautiful like Emily or ordinary looking like him? Did it matter? He hadn't decided what he wanted to do, so why speculate on how genetics would combine between Emily and him to form their child.

_Their child… It sounds like you've made up your mind._

He told the voice to shut up and turned over. Monday was the day. He'd talk to her before they got caught in a case. For better or worse, he'd give her his decision and hope their friendship would survive.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**Warning: See my profile and the first chapter. **_

Emily poured her first cup of hot coffee from the freshly brewed pot in the break room. The taste of the sweetened concoction wouldn't do much for the weariness that felt as though it had settled into her very bones. Instead, it would remind her of the one person she wanted to see more than anything.

The weekend had passed so slowly, that by the time she'd dropped into her bed the night before, she was about crazy with boredom and worry. The only thing she'd been able to think about was the choices she'd made and the possibility that she'd alienated a friend. The stress of all of it had been exhausting.

Two questions kept trading places in her mind over the last day and a half. What if he said no or what if he said yes? The answer to either question would change her life.

She took a sip of her coffee and burnt her tongue. "Damn it!"

"Hey Prentiss!" Morgan had come up behind her and she jumped, almost spilling the hot beverage all over her blouse.

"Why are you sneaking up on me?"

His easy grin and twinkling _eyes_ irritated her. He had no right to be this cheerful on a Monday morning when it was lightly raining outside.

"I'm not sneaking up on you. I called out to you three times. It's not my fault that you were a million miles away. What's got you thinking so hard?"

He'd taken what she liked to call his 'you can confide in me,' stance. He leaned back against the edge of the countertop and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes were serious and his tone changed to 'you can trust me,' mode.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Are you sure?" Your eyes have darker circles under them, than Reid."

Her hand tightened around the handle of her cup, but she kept her eyes on Morgan.

_Can't let him see, or he'll pester you till you give in._

"No one has darker circles under their eyes than Reid." She joked.

Morgan narrowed his eyes at her. "You wouldn't be -"

He was interrupted by JJ, Garcia, and Reid entering the bullpen at the same time. Garcia was holding baby Henry in her arms. JJ pushed the baby carriage and carried on an animated conversation with her friends. Reid looked like he wanted to run away far and fast.

"Come on Morgan, JJ's here for a visit," She informed him unnecessarily.

She left the break room and the eyes of another man that saw way too much. Garcia was cuddling Henry who was dead to the world.

"He's so cute…" She was saying in a voice three octaves higher than her normal tone.

"He's cute now, but wait till he wakes up! He's not a happy boy after naps." JJ informed them.

Morgan had come up behind Garcia and was looking at little Henry with the twinkle back in his eyes. The little boy could always make him smile, which made Emily want to tease him on a normal day. Today she was happy for the distraction from her.

"I've got to go up to HR for a few minutes. Can you guys watch Henry for me?"

"Of course, his god parents will take good care of him. Won't we Reid?" Garcia said, handing the sleeping baby to Reid, who tried to protest, but it fell on deaf ears.

"There's a bottle in the bag if he gets cranky." JJ said and left Reid with the two month old baby.

"So Reid, when are you going to have one of those?" Morgan said and laughed as Reid went white as a sheet.

Emily longed to go over and pour Morgan's cup of coffee over his head, or better yet, pull her gun out and…

"Garcia, you should take him." Reid said, interrupting her attractive train of thought.

"No, he needs quality time with his godfather and I need to get to work on that case you put on my desk."

"But -"

"No way Dr. Reid. You're the one that said you absolutely needed a background on this guy."

"But -"

Garcia left them all standing there. Emily saw Reid's eye's dart to her and she shook her head. She couldn't help but grin. He looked good holding the baby. Maybe everything would be okay.

Of course, when you think everything will be alright, it has a way of going right down into the toilet. Henry abruptly woke up and began to scream.

"Jesus…" Morgan said

"Morgan!"

"Sorry, but the kid's got a pair of lungs. What are you doing to him?"

"I'm not doing anything to him." Reid said frantically.

He tried rocking the baby, but Henry was pissed. His face was screwed up and going so red that Emily was getting a little concerned that he might burst something important.

"Help me…" He hissed at Emily who shook her head.

_Yeah, you two are ready to be parents. _

She told the voice of reasonto go to hell as Reid tried everything to get the baby to stop crying. Several agents that had come in were beginning to glare at them.

"What the hell is going on?" Rossi had come out of his office.

"I didn't do anything." The squeak in Reid's voice matched Henry's squeals.

Emily was about to take Henry from Reid when JJ came back into the bullpen. She smirked at Reid and seemed completely at ease with the screaming baby. She took the boy from Reid and Henry quit crying so abruptly that the resulting silence made Emily's ears ring. It was like a plug has been pulled on the baby.

"How did you do that?" Reid asked and he was not happy.

"He recognized my scent." JJ said as she pulled a bottle out of the diaper bag. "He's just a little hungry. Aren't you little man?"

Reid was still glaring at JJ who looked very serene. Morgan was laughing and Emily was sitting at her desk watching Reid like a hawk. He didn't look like he was going to say yes to her question now that Henry had scared the hell out of him.

_Damn JJ for coming in here in the first place. _

Then she kicked herself for thinking that. JJ was a good friend and Emily loved little Henry. Babies got cranky sometimes. If she was going to be a mother, she'd better realize it and learn to live with it. She was going to tell Reid the same thing if he tried to use this experience as an excuse to say no.

JJ and Henry finally left and then it was time for their briefing with Hotch and Jordan, who'd been barricaded in JJ's office talking to Detective Barry in North Carolina.

It looked like they had another serial killer to hunt down. It was going to be a long day with no time to talk to Reid.

---

Emily put her ready bag down on the bed in the motel room she'd been assigned by Jordan. The bedspread was white with huge purple and gold flowers on it. It was ugly and clashed with the orange shag carpet. The headboard was scratched up and the lamp beside the bed had a pink shade shaped like a ladies hat from the last century.

The television on the other hand was brand new and a flat screen. The priorities of motels always baffled her. There was a listing for the television and at the top of the list was all the available porn. She couldn't believe they were stuck there for the night. At least the heat worked and it was comfortably warm.

The dresser that stood to the left of the television had a bunch of tired looking flowers in a vase on top of it. There was a painting of an ocean scape on the wall that was very well done. It was a night scene and the water seemed to glisten in the moonlight that was a shadow over the cresting waves.

She turned to hang up her black jacket and jumped when someone knocked hard on the door_. Please don't let it be Hotch telling us we have to go out. _

They needed to catch the man killing women in Raleigh. There had already been five women slaughtered. She shouldn't resent her job, but right now she hated that it kept her from talking to Reid.

She opened the door, ready to growl at the boss, or Jordan, and was surprised to see Reid standing there. He looked like she felt. His tie had been discarded and his brown corduroy jacket was gone. His white shirt made him look even more pale than normal.

"Hi Reid…"

"Hi Emily. Can I come in for a minute?"

"Sure…"

He ducked past her into the room and took one of the chairs that sat around the table in one corner of the room. He looked at the wall instead of in her eyes and her heart sank. He was going to say no. She could feel it in her heart, and it hurt. Her hands began to tremble and her legs started to shake so that she had to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Emily?"

"What?"

"Yes!"

Tears had been collecting in her eyes. Her heart was pounding so hard that it hurt her chest and made her lightheaded. In fact, what he'd just said was drowned out by the sound of rushing blood in her ears.

"Did you hear what I said?"

He didn't raise his voice. Still, something in the tone got through the surety in her head and heart that he was going to say no.

"W-what?"

"I said yes Emily."

"R-really," Relief was such a huge thing that it threatened to drag her under it's spell and drown her in its expectations.

"Yes…"

Then she was out of her chair and hugging him so hard that he had to push her away. "Geez Emily, you almost broke my ribs."

"Sorry," but nothing could ruin the moment.

Tears had started again, but they were the happiest tears she'd ever cried. She could see through the shimmer of them how Reid was looking at her. It was like he expected a bomb to go off at any minute.

"Thank you Reid. I know this wasn't an easy decision for you."

"I have a condition." He said and her heart sank.

"Okay." Her voice began to tremble.

"I know that this is going to sound crazy coming from me." He got up to pace the small space between the bed and the dresser. "I always said that if I ever had a child, I would devote my life to him or her. I wanted to be a part of their lives always. But I realized today that I can't take care of a child. I'll be a donor for you, but that's where it ends. I'll help out financially of course, but this doesn't mean that I want to get married or play dad."

He looked at her like he expected her to be angry. All she could feel was a sense of huge relief. "I was going to make that my only condition." She said.

"Really!"

"Yeah… It's not that I don't think you could be a good father. It's that I don't want to completely change your life. Besides, I think it would be confusing for him or her to have a dad that doesn't live with mommy. I don't want him or her to think that their parents might get married one day. I don't want to put that burden on a child."

"I hope I can play 'uncle' and see him and her on a regular basis. I can't stay completely out of their life. I don't want to be like my dad." He repeated.

"You're not going to be like your dad. You'll always be there for this child even if it's not in the traditional way."

"Then we're agreed. We'll be good friends and be the best parents a child can have."

She stuck out her hand and he took it. "Yeah, good friends and good parents."


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/n hey all, thanks so much for your continued support of this story. The next chapter is ready. **_

_**Disclaimer: See profile**_

_**Warnings: see profile and chapter one**_

"How much longer do we have to wait?"

"This is a doctor's office. You know you can't just come in here and walk right back to the examination room." Emily hissed at him.

"I know _that_!" He hissed back. "It's bad enough that they make you fill out all those forms, and make you give your whole life history, without making you wait for an hour."

"It hasn't been an _hour_ Reid and I had to fill out the same forms when I came in here."

Reid was clutching at the arm rest of his chair like it was a life preserver. She'd seen him looking at the door more than once. She wondered if he would bolt, despite his promise to do this for her.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said quietly.

"How did… Never mind, I forgot for a minute who I was dealing with," she added with a small smile. "You manage to convince me at the oddest times that you're just some young genius doctor that knows everything about everything. I forget that you're also one of the best profilers in the world."

He was looking at her with those chocolate eyes that could fool you into thinking that he was naïve and very innocent. In a way, he was, but if you knew how to look behind the obvious, you could see that there was so much more there.

"Emily…"

"Sorry, just thinking," She said.

"Yeah, I've been doing a lot of that in the last two weeks."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

He got up from the chair and went to choose a copy of the Readers Digest that was four months out of date from the glass covered table that was in the middle of the room.

"Because I just sprang this idea on you out of nowhere and expected you to just hop to it like one of my mother's servants. I really am getting to be like her." She answered when he sat down again.

"No, you're not." He promised. "You gave me time to think about and consider all of my options. If you were "the Lady of the Manor," you would have just ordered me to help."

He said it so matter-of-factly while idly flipping through the Digest, that she giggled. "Yeah, that would have worked."

"Not really…"

Emily laughed out loud. The blond-haired woman that sat several chairs away, looked up from her magazine, and then back down after Emily covered her mouth.

"You're really funny at the strangest times Reid."

"I wasn't trying to be funny."

The same small black-haired nurse came in the room and said "Spencer Reid?"

He dropped the Digest on the floor where it lay open face down. Watching him leap out of his chair like someone had left a porcupine on the seat cushion, made Emily choke back a laugh. She grabbed his messenger back from the seat next to the one he'd been sitting in when he dashed over to the nurse without it.

She followed him and the nurse back to Dr. Kelly's office while trying not to laugh at the young agent. The last time she'd seen him act this way was when Rossi joined the team and Reid had a serious case of hero worship.

"Please sit down and the doctor will be right in." The nurse showed them into the doctor's office.

Reid sat down in the nearest chair and picked up a small carving of a dolphin made out of jade that sat next to the nameplate on the doctor's desk. He began turning it over and over in his hands, looking at it as though figuring out how the artist had rendered it so beautifully was the most important thing in the world.

She let him sit there and didn't disturb his inspection of the small carving. It was as though touching the smooth surface of the jade was soothing to him. She took the seat next to him and tried to stop the shaking that was beginning in her hands.

_What if the doctor found something in his tests that made it so Reid couldn't be her donor? What was the doctor going to say when he read Reid's paperwork and discovered the possibility of inherited mental illness? _

More questions and thoughts like these ran around and around in her head until the doctor came into the room. Reid looked up and leaped from his chair again. He held out a hand to the doctor. "You must be Dr. Kelly. You went to Duke Medical School and graduated in the top five percent of your class. You spent several years in private practice before opening this clinic. You have a ninety-two percent success rate in your field which makes you one of the best in the country. "

Dr. Kelly lifted an eyebrow and extracted his hand from Reid's enthusiastic greeting. "Thank you Dr. Reid… I don't think anyone ever summed up my life in quite that way before," He smiled at the very nervous young man.

"He tends to ramble when he'd nervous." Emily said.

"I do not!"

"Yes you do!"

Reid dropped back in his chair and started playing with the jade dolphin again. His face had gone pink and he wouldn't look at the doctor till the man directly addressed him.

"Dr Reid… I must say that I rarely have patients that so thoroughly complete all the paperwork we push on them."

"It's helpful to have all the facts."

Dr. Kelly put down the file the office staff had assembled from said paperwork and took his place in his chair behind his desk.

"Emily, I'm surprised that you didn't tell me everything before our visit."

"What do you mean?"

"You know the answer to that question. Dr. Reid, while you're arguably an intelligent, and well read young man - who is very successful in his work and in the academic world - there are some things in your background that disturb me."

Emily glanced over at Reid who was sitting calmly with the dolphin in one hand and watching the doctor as though he might be discussing something innocuous like the flu, or the common cold.

"It wasn't my place to go into detail." She said.

"True, but there are areas of concern to me, I don't think that -"

"Dr Kelly… My health concerns are only a small part of the equation. Was I kidnapped, tortured, and subjected to a dangerous intravenous drug that resulted in my addiction to said drug? Yes! Do I have a history of mental illness in my family? Yes and no." Reid interrupted.

"What do you mean by that Dr. Reid?"

"My mother was diagnosed when she was in college. It was the seventies. Drug use was very pervasive in that culture, especially at Berkley. There is a theory out there that some schizophrenic breaks occurred because of hallucinogenic drug use.

"Yes, I have read that study. It needs more collaborative work done."

"I realize that, but I also know that there's no other mental illness in my family on either side. I'm two years past the average age of onset in schizophrenics."

"You know as well as I do, that anyone with that gene can have their first symptoms as early as eight, and as late as sixty years old."

"True enough, but those numbers are very small. The point is that I don't want to be afraid of my mind anymore. I spent too many years from the age of sixteen, till now, worrying if the voices are going to start and the paranoia or the hallucinations. I don't want to be afraid anymore."

"I can understand that Dr. Reid. But, it's my job to make sure that when a woman comes in here with a designated donor, that all possible problems are avoided."

Reid uncrossed his legs and sat forward. "Are you telling me that science can predict cancer, or any of a hundred other diseases or disorders? I know that you guys have mapped out the human genome, but they can't predict what will happen when two people conceive a child. That sort of genetic manipulation is decades away."

"Be that as it may Dr. Reid…"

Reid got to his feet. "I'm here because I want to be. I care about Emily. Her happiness means a great deal to me. She's been there for me in ways that you can't imagine. I'm going to do this for her. If we have to go to another clinic then…"

"That won't be necessary Dr Reid."

The other man had gotten up from his chair and followed Reid to the door. "I want what's best for my patients. If Ms Prentiss is okay with it then so am I."

"I'm fine Dr. Kelly."

"Then let's get started."

Reid went back to his chair, followed by the doctor to his desk. "Now, you need to have a complete physical before testing. One thing we test is your blood type. You'll have to give a sperm sample that will be tested for all STDs and other abnormalities. We will test the sperm for motility and get a count. Anything below five million won't give us the result we need. The optimal number is more then twenty million. Now Ms. Prentiss has decided that she wants to do artificial insemination. Because of her age, it may take several tries for her to conceive.

"Do I have to come back?" Reid squeaked.

"Yes… If everything checks out, then you'll have to return to give three more samples for testing over the next three weeks. And, absolutely no sexual activity of any kind for three days before testing," The doctor said with finality.

"Really…" Reid squeaked.

"Yes, it's very important to get an accurate sperm count. We'll quarantine the sample for six months after testing for HIV and then test again before we attempt fertilization."

"Is there away that we can skip quarantine." Emily asked. "Reid has been submitting to drug testing ever since he quit Dilaudid."

"How long ago was your last test?"

"Six weeks ago. It was clean then, as it has been every time I've had the testing."

"What about your sexual partners? I assume you practice safe sex."

Reid went crimson and Emily tried desperately not to laugh at her hapless teammate. "Um… I don't really have a girlfriend right now but… I mean yes, um when I… Um yeah, I practice safe sex."

"Alright… if the sample is clean, we'll proceed quickly."

"Thank you doctor," His face began to return to its normal color.

"Don't thank me… I need to see all your records and all the test results from the FBI."

"I'll get the doctor to send them over here."

"Good… Let's make you an appointment for your physical and to give your first sample."

---

Reid and Emily entered the Starbucks an hour later. Reid made a beeline for a very strong cup of coffee while Emily found a table next to the bank of windows at the back of the shop. Her hands had finally stopped shaking. It was going to work out if she could get Reid to all of his appointments without the rest of the team catching on.

"I got you some coffee and a cranberry muffin." Reid said just as she looked away from the sun that was beginning to set in a riot of gold, crimson, and purple.

"Thanks… I'm kind of hungry."

"Me too…" He had a large cup of coffee and a chocolate chip muffin.

"Thank you Reid."

"For what?" He peeled the paper off his muffin and broke it in half.

"For doing this for me. I know that what you have to do isn't what you expected. I had no idea you'd have to go back four times to…" She trailed off because her face was beginning to get hot.

Reid choked on his muffin. "It's okay… I should have researched before I went in today."

"I'm surprised you didn't know. I mean you know everything, right."

"No… I don't know everything. Why does everyone think that?"

"Because you always have the right answer for us when we need it. I guess I assumed you'd know all there is to know about fertility problems."

He went red and stammered. "N-no… I um… n-never thought too much about it. I mean, I know all the options, but I never bothered to read up on the actual procedure of donation. I guess I hadn't got around to it yet. I was so nervous that I just forgot about research till I got in the car to drive to the doctor's office."

"You knew all that stuff about Dr. Kelly."

"Yeah, I read up on him, but not on the procedure. I know it sounds weird for me, but I guess I thought if I didn't read about it, I wouldn't think about it and be blushing every five minutes. I didn't want Morgan to be suspicious."

She smiled at him. "I can see that."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure, what did you have in mind?"

"Anything else but being a donor and fertility experts. I'll deal with the appointments, but I don't want to think about it now."

"Okay." She thought hard for a minute. "Hey did you read that article Rossi published last month. I thought what he had to say about anger excitation rapists was fascinating…."

_**A/n some of the medical facts have been tweaked for this story. In RL sperm must be qaurantined to prevent the spread of AIDS, but I've decided with the help of my most excellent beta to change it for this story because of Reid's drug use and the testing he must have gone through already. **_


	9. Chapter 9

**_Disclaimer: See my profile_**

**_Warning: See the first chapter. _**

**_A/n here's the next chapter which details Reid's examination and his donation experience, but not in graphic detail. This is a family show people!_**

Reid's next trip to the clinic was the most difficult of all the subsequent visits. He went alone after assuring Emily that it would be more difficult for him if she went with him.

Now he sat in the waiting room while Stacey the receptionist added a new page to his file and tried to flirt with him at the same time. It was one o'clock on a Wednesday and the clinic was nearly empty. He was the first patient after the lunch break and he was glad that there didn't appear to be anyone else around.

"So what kind of doctor are you?" Stacey asked while running a fingertip over his file folder and smiling at him.

"I have three PhD's," He said and went to a chair next to a window looking out over the parking lot.

"Really, so are you like some kind of genius. We've never had a genius come in here to donate. My cousin Mattie used to work in a clinic in New York City. She told me that they had sperm samples from seventy-four different geniuses at the same time. You wouldn't believe how many women want a baby made from a genius's sperm. Of course they all want good looking geniuses. I have to tell people all the time that…"

Reid tuned out her chatter after "seventy-four different geniuses." and looked out the window at the snow that was falling. It was getting closer to Thanksgiving now and the weather was getting worse all the time.

_Who cares how many women want a baby that's a genius?_

Stacey was chattering on as though he was really listening, while twisting her blond hair around one finger. He looked back out the window and wondered what indignity he would have to suffer first.

He didn't have to wait long. Dr. Kelly's nurse, Mai came out to call him back five minutes after Stacey began her monologue.

She had him sit down on the chair next to the examination table. "How are you doing Dr. Reid?" She said in a soft, pleasant voice that he found soothing.

"I'm fine," he squeaked.

"Sure you are," She wrapped a blood pressure cuff around his arm. "Try to relax for a few minutes while I take your temperature and ask you a few questions."

She asked her questions while updating his chart on the computer. She added his temperature reading, pulse and blood pressure. Then he followed her out of the room to get weighed.

"You need to put on about twenty pounds." She lectured.

"Everyone says that," He retorted and she laughed.

"I'm sure they do."

She escorted him back to the examination room. "Please strip and put on the gown. Dr. Kelly will be in shortly." She indicated the gown lying on the table.

The next half hour was spent getting poked and prodded by the doctor and the lab people where he had to give blood and pee in a cup. Still, however embarrassing all of that might be for him, it was nothing compared to what was coming up next.

"I have to wait for some test results, but from what I've seen you're very healthy Dr Reid. You could stand to put on about twenty pounds."

"I know…" Reid said through gritted teeth. "The nurse said that same thing."

"You should listen to the nurses. They know what they're talking about."

"I thought the doctor was the expert."

Dr. Kelly laughed, "We like to think that we are nearly Gods, but it's the nurses that get most patients to do what the doctor wants."

"Then I guess I better take Mai's advice."

"If you want to keep her on good side, I suggest you do. She may be small and quiet, but she's tougher than I am."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Now… we're at the hard part for a lot of men."

"Yes, I know."

"You can get dressed and follow me or leave the gown on. I want you to be comfortable."

"I'll get dressed."

The doctor left him alone to dress and a strange sort of calm seemed to fall over him as though the universe was telling him that everything would be okay.

---

The room the doctor took him to for the donation process, was a lot different from what he expected it to be. It was outfitted like a living room in a house. There was a flat screen television with a DVD player hooked up next to it. The shelves around the television had what he expected, rows and rows of x-rated films. There was a comfortable looking couch in front of the television.

_I'm not sitting there!_

The thought of all the men that had been in this room and the activity they had engaged in while sitting on said couch was almost too much for him.

The doctor said - breaking into his thoughts - "I'll leave you alone, Dr Reid. Take your time and get comfortable. There's no rush. No one will bother you, I promise." The doctor smiled at him and then left the room. Reid went to the door and found that there wasn't a lock on it. _Stupid fire regulations! _

The room was completely silent as though someone had soundproofed it. _Of course they did… Do you want to hear what goes on in here? _

He paced the room with the specimen cup in his hand that the nurse had given him. The hard plastic of the container mocked him. It was empty and it was his job to give the lab boys something to test. He paced up and down for fifteen minutes, trying to slow his breathing.

It didn't work…

"Just get on with _it_."

He felt like someone was watching him, even though he knew that he was alone in this room. He was glad that he'd made Emily stay away. He couldn't handle it if she were out there waiting for him.

He decided to pick out a magazine and see what happened. There was a very recent copy of Hustler magazine on top of the stack next to the couch.

He went to the couch and sat down because the doctor said for him to get comfortable. The fact was that it didn't matter who had been there before him. It was his turn to do what he'd done off and on since he was thirteen years old.

He'd seen his share of naked women, mostly in his own collection of Playboys. These women were different though. None of them were remotely arousingfor him, so he picked up the Playboy and began flipping through it.

There were blonds, red heads, and brunettes, pretty much anything a guy could want, but it just wasn't working.

_You're thinking about it too hard!_

He decided to put the magazines aside and try to pretend that he was in his own space. Maybe if he felt safe his body would respond and he could get this over with till next week.

He didn't like movies like the ones that were in the shelves. Watching two people have sex embarrassed him instead of turning him on. He decided to just close his eyes and try to think about what he wanted.

He unzipped his pants and closed his eyes. What did he like? A face began to emerge in his mind. She had dark hair and dark eyes. She wasn't stunningly beautiful, but she reminded him of the old renaissance paintings he studied in college. She was a classic beauty with a strong face that was getting clearer in his mind.

The scent of her hair floated by his senses and sent tingles through his stomach. He could see the way she walked and the way she moved her hands or smiled. He wanted to put his hands in her hair and kiss her lips. He wanted to feel her skin against his and take in the smell of her body and drown in her heat.

The face of the woman that had been his elusive dream woman for months suddenly solidified behind his eyelids. Everything that had been so confusing in the last month made sense. He'd felt her touch before, had seen her sacrifice herself for him because she'd been unable to watch him suffer. She'd embraced him after their ordeal in Colorado and touched his hand on the plane after it was over.

Emily was the woman that he'd been falling for in his dreams and now his subconscious could no longer keep her out of his mind and heart. Then it was over in one final burst of agonizing feeling. He opened his eyes and lost her beautiful face. A deep sadness overtook his racing heartbeat and he felt tears collecting in the corner of his eyes because all was lost now.

---

It took him nearly as long to get his emotions under control before leaving the room, as it had when the doctor had shut the door behind him. It didn't even matter that he had to take the sample back to the nurse. He felt blindsided by all he'd realized as a result of agreeing to this mad scheme. It didn't even matter though, because he was going to make this happen for her no matter what he had to do.

"Be sure to make an appointment for next week." Mai reminded him.

"I will…"

He headed back up to Stacey and made the next appointment. There were several more people in the room, but he barely noticed them. The sudden desire to get out of there was so strong he almost ran without waiting for Stacey to figure out a date and time for him. She filled out the appointment card for him. He took it and shoved it in his pocket without noticing that Stacey had written her cell number and name on the back.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**Warnings: See my profile and the first chapter**_

Hotch unlocked the door to his office and flipped on the light. His briefcase went on the desk and his coat took its place on the rack next to the door. He looked at the coffee cup on his desk and mentally debated whether or not to get a cup. It was six-thirty in the morning, but he hadn't slept well at all the night before because Haley was once again making it difficult for him to see Jack.

_Why couldn't she let go of her anger and resentment toward him? _

He could profile the worst of the dregs of society, but he couldn't figure out his ex-wife. He knew that Dave would say that he was too close to the situation, but was Dave Rossi the one to listen too when it came to relationships?

_If you had just tired harder to make it work!_

No! He refused to let his mind go in that direction. _I am who I am… I have to be here and do this job because it's what I have to do._

He sat down and ignored the call of the coffee pot. The stack of paperwork on his desk was more than enough to get him though without thinking of how he messed up his life and his son's life. In a couple of hours Agent Todd would be in and they would get their next assignment.

The office and the bullpen were quiet for half an hour while he worked with all his concentration on finishing reports for filing. The whisper of paper and the scratch of his pen seemed loud in the stillness, but at the same time it was soothing in its familiarity. The light in the office reflected off the windows and made it impossible to see out into the darkness that was beginning to relinquish its hold on Quantico.

When the knock came at his door at a little past seven in the morning, he was startled. No one ever came in this early but Agent Todd and she never bothered him before nine. Something must be very wrong if she were knocking at the door this early.

"Come in!"

The door opened and he looked up to find Prentiss and Reid edging into the room. They both looked like they'd been caught with their hands in the cookie jar and his antenna immediately went up.

"Sit down," He ordered because this was going to be a headache. He could just see it in both of their eyes.

"What can I do for you?" He asked while shifting the file he'd been working on to one side of his green blotter.

"We wanted to talk to you before the rest of the team came into the office." Emily said. "I've, or rather we've, decided to do something that you may not like or accept."

"It's not a good idea to come in here and tell me I'm not going to like something."

_Are they going to tell me that they've started sleeping together?_

He kept his eyes on both of them as they looked at each other. The body language between the two of them intrigued him. Reid was the easiest to read. Hotch had noticed since the hostage situation, that Reid was developing a strong bond with Emily. It was more than good friends. Now it was clear that his young agent had been hiding his true feelings for her.

Emily, on the other hand, was much better at keeping her true feelings under wraps. But, he'd seen it in her face during that fiasco in Colorado. The burning question was - did she realize that she had strong feelings for Reid? He hoped this wasn't going to turn into a huge problem that would end up with him having to transfer one of his best people.

Emily pulled his attention back to her by telling him that she and Reid had recently seen a fertility specialist together. Of all the things he'd expected to hear, that was so far down the list as to be negligible. Maybe his hearing was going. He kept the shock out of his voice when he responded.

"Emily… I know you've felt lately that you want to have a child. I'm concerned that you haven't thought this through."

"I have thought about, for more than a year. I've considered every pro and con possible. I decided that Reid was the best candidate to help me. He and I have talked about and we are agreed. We've seen the doctor and Reid submitted a sperm sample for testing."

"Reid… Are you sure this is something you want to do."

"Yes, I've considered all of the variables and the facts." He was squeaking and not looking at Emily who had her eyes on the wall over Hotch's head.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do Reid."

"Are you trying to say that I'm coercing him or manipulating him?" Emily's voice had begun to rise and she stood up to pace the office. "I would never do that to him Hotch. You know me better than that!"

"I know you wouldn't hurt him on purpose."

"I'm in the room." Reid protested. "I know what I'm doing Hotch. The test results came back and I am a viable donor for her. We're going to do this!"

The finality in Reid's voice and the way he stood up and stepped closer to Emily, as though he wanted to take her hand, made Hotch's stomach clench.

"Reid's right… This is personal for us and has nothing to do with the job. You don't have any say over what we decide to do."

Her eyes were blazing and Reid was looking at her like a supplicant worshiping a goddess. This was going to backfire, he could feel it, but there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"It's my body Hotch…" Emily was saying.

"I know Emily. I can't forbid this, but I can tell you that if I think you need to stay out of the field or not fly, you will do as I say."

"Yes sir."

"When is this procedure taking place?"

"Reid has to go back in three more times over the next three weeks. That's one of the reasons we wanted to tell you."

"You want me to head off questions from the team."

"Yes sir…" Reid said and his face had gone crimson again.

"Alright, if the others get suspicious, I'll make sure they back off."

"Thanks Hotch," Reid said.

"Don't thank me until this is over."

"If everything goes well, we're going to try after the first of the year." Emily told him.

"I trust that from now on, you'll keep me in the loop."

"Yes sir." They said together.

They both stood. Hotch, following a feeling he couldn't describe, called to Reid. "Could you stay here for a minute?"

He watched the young man look at Emily and he saw her shrug. Emily left the room and Reid went back to the chair he'd been occupying since entering the room.

"Reid… I know you feel like you have to do this for Emily, but you don't. If you don't want to be her donor, you can say no. I don't want you to feel as though you're being forced or manipulated into donating for her."

Reid looked confused for a minute then he said. "I'm not being forced to do anything Hotch."

"I just want you to understand what you're agreeing too."

"I know what I'm agreeing too Hotch. I'm not a child." Reid stood up, "If you'll excuse me…"

"Sit down Reid."

"Hotch!"

"Spencer! Please sit down."

The use of his first name had him sitting down very slowly in the chair.

"I'm sorry Reid. I didn't mean to imply that you hadn't thought this through or hadn't considered all the options. I know you've done your homework on the procedure and you probably know the ins and outs better than the doctor. But do you know the emotional price you could be paying."

"I've thought about it Hotch… I know what I'm doing. I want Emily to be happy. She's my friend and this is what she wants."

"What about you? Have you thought about how this is going to affect your life?"

"We discussed it. When we successfully conceive, I'm taking a step back and letting Emily raise the baby."

Hotch was taken aback by this statement. Of all the people to step away from fatherhood, Reid was the least likely person.

"Reid… Have you thought about your father and how it will feel working with Emily and seeing your child grow up without knowing that its father is right there? My _God_ Spencer, your father was minutes away for years and I think you need to remember what finding that out felt like."

"It won't be like that Hotch. I'll still be in the baby's life. He or she will have the best uncle in the world."

"Reid…"

"I know what I'm doing Hotch. This will make Emily happy and if she's happy then I'm happy."

Aaron Hotchner looked straight into two hazel eyes that were the windows to the purest soul he knew and he trembled. This young man had no idea what he was getting into and there was nothing that Hotch could do but let him find out on his own that he was about to make a terrible mistake.

"May I go now Hotch?"

"Yes."

Reid went to the door and Hotch said. "If you need anything, come see me. I really do care about you."

"I know Hotch."

Then he was gone and Hotch put his hand to the bridge of his nose. The two of them loved each other. What would it take to make them see it and end this charade?

---

"Thanks for going in there with me." Emily said as they went to the break room.

"You're welcome."

"You want some coffee." He just looked at her and she laughed. "Of course you do… What was I thinking?"

"So are you taking Clomid or Gonadotropin to stimulate egg production?"

Emily slanted her eyes over to Reid. "How did you… Right, you read a lot. I guess I should be happy that you're prepared."

They had reached their desks and the stacks of files that never seemed to go away. Reid put his cup of coffee and the messenger bag he'd carried into Hotch's office next to his desk.

"Yeah… I just wanted to know everything that was involved, especially since I didn't do my research before our last visit to the doctor."

"I'm taking Clomid."

"Oh, that's the better choice since the side effects seem to be mild. You should watch out for -"

"Heads up…" She hissed looking at the elevator. "Morgan decided to come in early."

Reid went crimson and Emily sighed. If they got through this without revealing everything to everyone, it would be a miracle.

---

Reid entered the bullpen three weeks later after his last appointment with the clinic. Stacey had continued to try and get his attention despite his ignoring her. She had been looking at him like he was lunch when Mai had taken him back to the examination room.

"_I see Stacey has a crush on you." His face had gone red and he'd begun to cough and splutter. Mai laughed, "Don't worry Dr. Reid. I'll set her straight. I know you have feelings for Emily." _

"_But how -"_

"_I see couples all the time here. I can tell who loves who in any relationship." _

"_If it's that obvious to you, then everyone else is going to see it too."_

"_Don't look so glum Dr. Reid. I think any woman that wants to have a baby, would be very happy with a guy that has a twenty-two million sperm count. Not to mention the high motility of the little swimmers. You should advertise." She teased._

"_Advertise…" He had squeaked. "But I can't -" _

"Hey Reid…" Morgan's voice cut through the memory of his last visit to the clinic like a whip cracking through the air. His tone stung.

"Hello Morgan."

"You're a million miles away. What are you thinking about?"

Emily was at her desk and he made a concerted effort not to look at her when he sat down at his desk. "I wasn't thinking about anything in particular."

"So how was the visit to the doctor?"

"Yeah sweet thing… We're all worried about you."

Jordan and Garcia were standing there looking at him with Morgan. What was he going to say and where was Hotch when he needed him? Rossi came into the bullpen at that moment and he looked curious as well.

"I went to donate sperm." He blurted out the truth and saw Emily jerk out of the corner of his eye.

"You suddenly decided to become a sperm donor." Morgan said.

Jordan and Garcia were gaping at him, while Rossi held back a smirk.

"Yeah, why shouldn't I. Did you know that the demand for sperm from a genius is ten times higher than any other factor including race, or health? There is a clinic in New York City that has the highest percentage of donations made by certified geniuses. And you get paid for it."

He'd deliberately gone into lecture mode to try and throw them off the scent. Morgan was looking at him like he'd lost his mind and then his eyes began to twinkle.

"Come on man… I know that's not what you were doing."

"We just want to know if you're okay." Garcia said, elbowing Morgan in the gut.

"Alright, everyone leave Reid alone and get back to work."

"But shouldn't we -"

"I said to back off. Reid is fine. Let it go!"

Morgan glared at Hotch's retreating back. Garcia and Jordan left the bullpen and Rossi followed Hotch. Reid grabbed a file off his stack and began to work as though his life depended on it. He didn't look up at Emily until an hour had passed.

He was dismayed to see her staring at him with a look that promised violence. He shook his head and pleaded silently for her to understand.

"You and I are going to have a talk." She whispered.

Great! Now he was in trouble with Emily. All things considered - he rather be dealing with Morgan!


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclamier: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see the first chapter. **_

_**A/n once again I have to thank REIDFANATIC for helping me with the medical details. Also I actually did some research on the internet for a change. **_

The six weeks since Reid's last appointment with the clinic had passed very quickly and very slowly at the same time. Despite Reid's explanation to Emily - that if you tell the truth to someone that thinks you're hiding something, they never believe you - she was sure that Morgan was suspicious of Reid's apparent sudden return to health.

Still, she couldn't kill him. She had over reacted to his blurting out that he was donating sperm. He hadn't said that he was donating for her. So, he got to live for now.

Now, she was at the clinic getting ready for her first try at artificial insemination courtesy of one of her best friends. If this backfired, he'd be the one that would take the brunt of Morgan's teasing. She should have thought about that little fact. She bet Reid had and it didn't seem to matter to him.

Dr. Kelly came into the room and gave her a reassuring smile. "We're going to do this the easiest way, which is intracervical insemination. I'll use a needless syringe to place the semen directly into the cervix. This most closely imitates the way semen is deposited during intercourse. You'll have to lie still for about an hour after the procedure is finished."

"Okay…"

Her heart had begun to pound the minute the doctor walked into the room and she could feel sweat collecting on her forehead. She shouldn't be so nervous. Doctors did this kind of procedures all the time. It was no big deal. Hopefully, the mild sedative the doctor gave her would kick in pretty soon, so she could believe her own bull.

Everything was in place, she was ovulating and Reid's sperm sample has been unfrozen and washed to prevent cramping. The doctor had told her of certain chemicals that had been added to the sample to ensure the highest concentration.

"Just relax… It'll be over soon." Mai had come into the room and was holding her hand.

The serene face of the nurse and the smile of the doctor calmed her nerves so that when it was all over, she was a bit surprised. The pain had been minimal and she didn't feel any different after Dr. Kelly was finished.

"Alright, now just lie still till Mai comes back in." He patted her hand. "I think we have a great chance with you. You and your designated donor are in great physical shape and there are no diseases in the sample to be worried about. I'm going to monitor you very closely and barring a multiple birth which would have a greater chance of complications, I'd say you could be a mother by next October."

"Thank you Dr. Kelly."

He left the room and Emily began to cry the tears that had been threatening since that morning. Her long held, and most cherished dream, might be coming true after years of waiting and wondering if it would ever happen.

---

"Hey Reid… Where's Emily?" Morgan had come back from Garcia's office where he'd been pestering her for some results on a search she was running for him.

"I don't know Morgan. I'm not her keeper." He kept his eyes on his file and his head down.

"I didn't say you were. If I didn't know any better, I'd say your mysterious disease skipped over to her."

Reid choked on his coffee just as Jordan entered the bullpen with a stack of files in her hands. "You okay Reid?"

"Yeah… I swallowed wrong. The coffee's still a little too hot."

"I asked him where Emily is." Morgan went on relentlessly.

"Why would Reid know where Emily is?" Jordan asked genuinely perplexed.

Reid wanted to jump up and hug her, but that would really make Morgan suspicious, so he went back to his case file and hoped his face wasn't red.

"Because first he's sick and then she goes to the doctor. They sit next to each other so I wondered if wonder boy here has something contagious."

Reid dropped his pen on the floor where it clattered noisily on the hard plastic under his chair. He ducked under to grab it and tried not to feel the heat that was collecting in his face.

"I don't have anything contagious Morgan." He said, popping back up from under his desk. "The FBI would hardly let me back into work if I were carrying an infectious disease. It's winter time and flu season. I'll bet Emily didn't get her flu shot. Did you know that if you don't get a flu shot in the fall, you're seven times more likely to get the flu? Also, I read this article last week, that some researchers have cured the flu forever in mice. I don't know when they'll do human trials but -"

"Alright Reid, enough about mice and the flu," Jordan said, trying not to smirk at how he could ramble on and on about the strangest things. "This is for you and it's urgent."

She dropped another file on his desk. "Detective Montoya in St. George Utah has a very active fire bug on his hands. Three homes and a couple of businesses have been destroyed. No one has been killed, but he's begging for help to catch the guy before he hurts someone."

"Okay… I'll move it to the top of my stack."

He took the file and buried his head in it. Emily wasn't coming back after her appointment as the doctor ordered her to take a couple of days off. So he needed something to take his mind off the fact that at this moment, gamete could be meeting zygote to form a little person with her eyes and hair. Hopefully the baby looked like her with her classic beauty. He'd be happy if the child were a carbon copy of her.

His hands had started shaking, but at least Morgan had backed off now that Jordan was telling him about the rapist in Miami that he needed to help the police with before there was another victim. He'd try to remember to thank her somehow for distracting his friend.

He kept his fingers crossed that Emily would get pregnant the first time around so that he didn't have to go through this with Morgan again in a couple of months.

_Wait! Did you just admit that you hope a woman you know gets pregnant? Did you forget the mood swings, cravings, morning sickness and every other pregnancy side effect that drove you all nuts with JJ?_

This was different though.

_Really! How is it different?_

He told that voice to shut up and went back to work. If he completely concentrated on his work, the time would pass faster. It was Thursday and Hotch had promised him that they would be off the on call list until Monday.

When he finally finished his stack at six pm he was alone in the bullpen. Everyone else had left and they all had dates or something else important to do. He got to go home and wait for Emily to call him and tell him everything was okay.

---

Emily unlocked the door to her brownstone and dropped her bag on the entry table. The mild sedative Dr. Kelly had given her to relax her for the procedure had necessitated that she take a cab to and from the doctor. She dropped down on the couch and sat there staring out at the view of the Jefferson Memorial outside her window.

Sophie jumped up on the couch next to her and sniffed her over thoroughly before climbing into her lap. She swished her tail and meowed.

"I'm too tired to move Sophie."

The cat meowed, sounding a bit put out that her treats weren't forthcoming any time soon. Emily petted her along the base of her tail and the cat began to purr.

"Sorry, I just need to sit here for a minute. Then I'll have to get up and make something to eat for both of us."

Sophie purred and swished her tail.

Emily's eyes were closing when someone knocked at the door. It was a tentative knock that she recognized. She'd heard it many times on hotel doors when they were out in the field and Hotch sent him to pick her up in the mornings.

She lifted Sophie off her lap and the cat hissed up at her. "Sorry Sophie… I gotta answer the door."

The cat followed her to the door and meowed loudly at Reid when Emily opened it. "What's wrong Reid? Do we have a case?"

"No… Um, I wanted to see h-how you are." His voice squeaked and Sophie eyed him with deep mistrust.

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

"Is it… um is it okay if I come in?"

"Oh yeah… I'm sorry Reid. I'm just really tired," but she stepped back to let him in.

She went back to the couch, dragging with every step, and sat back down on the big sectional couch that was covered in dark blue fabric. She stretched out and he sat down a little way from where her head rested on the cushions.

He jumped in surprise when Sophie jumped up on the couch next to him and began to sniff him. She put a paw on his knee and meowed loudly.

"She wants a treat. I usually give her one when I come home, but I'm too tired today."

"Where're the treats?"

"You don't have to do that."

"Where're the treats?" He repeated more firmly.

"In the pantry in the kitchen," She gave in and told him.

He went around to the kitchen. Her eyes began to close, and she was drifting down, and around, as though she'd sunk down into a warm pool of water.

It seemed like an hour had gone by when she opened her eyes to more energy. Reid was sitting at the other end of the couch with one of her books in his hands. Her traitorous cat was sitting in his lap, purring so loudly it was as though a tiny lawn mower had taken up residence in the room.

She sat up and he looked over at her. "She only loves you for the treats you gave her." She informed him.

"_Really_," He squeaked

"Yeah, she's kind of fickle, but I love her."

The cat eyed her owner and meowed loudly.

"See… She's a smart aleck."

Reid put down the book and began to pet the cat. "I guess this is the end of the Reid effect," He said hopefully.

"Could be…" She captured his eyes and he went pink in the cheeks. "So why are you here Reid?"

"I just wanted to see how you're doing!" Sophie jumped off his lap and padded over to Emily.

"I'm fine… just a little tired and hungry. The doctor said that everything went like clock work. He said that it was very likely we'd have a baby by next October."

The wide smile that crossed his face was all the reward she wanted. He was willing to go through everything for him including suffering all kinds of humiliation and teasing.

"Thank you Reid… You don't know how much this means to me."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm happy if you're happy."

Her heart gave a little leap at the way he was looking at her. She forced it down and asked him about the book he was reading. They talked for a minute about "Taming of the Shrew," which was her favorite Shakespearean play.

"I never thought you'd go for that play," Reid observed.

"Why," She asked, feeling sort of fuzzy and happy just to have Reid there.

"Well, the play is full of misogynistic characters. Look at how Katherine's father and Petruchio treat her. She's a prize to be won and tamed. You're a modern woman of the world, that carries a gun. You just had artificial insemination. What would the Bard say about that?"

Emily thought for a minute. "I think he wouldn't believe it. Still, the story is a bit misogynistic, but I like the fight Kate puts up through that whole story. And, you get left with the feeling at the end that she really didn't give in and become the put upon female. I think she just made them all think she was. I think her husband went along with that deception because he loved her. "

"I don't know about that," Reid said. "You could be right."

"So why are you still here Reid?"

"I ordered some Greek food for us. It should be here in a few minutes."

Emily's stomach rumbled at the thought of roasted lamb from "The Starving Greek," down the street from her place.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to do that."

"Sure I did!"

"Reid!"

"I know I promised to stay away, but I just needed to be here and make sure you're okay. You've always watched out for me and I wanted to do the same for you."

"Thanks, I'm kind of glad you're here. I'm too tired to cook."

"I thought you would be."

He looked very proud of himself and she didn't have the heart to tell him to leave. It might be fun to have someone to eat with for a change. It got old coming home to this empty place day after day.

"Did anything interesting happen at work?" She asked him.

"Morgan thinks you caught a disease from me."

"I trust you set him straight."

"Yeah, if it wasn't for Jordan coming in with a couple of really interesting cases…"

"He's going to be a problem."

"I know… What are we going to do?"

"I'm not going to think about it till Monday." Emily said.

"But -"

"There are more important things to worry about than Morgan."

"Like what?"

"Like what I'm going to tell my mother," Emily said.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter.**_

Emily climbed to her feet from her position in front of the toilet. She flushed it and went to the sink. She looked at her face while washing her hands. The eyes in the mirror were bright and over-excited. It was really happening, she was sure of it, and now everything was going to change.

The nausea that had got her out of bed instead of the alarm confirmed it. Or at least it confirmed it in her mind. The thought of it being the flu, or even bad food from the night before, never crossed her mind. The procedure had worked, she was sure of it.

She went back to her bedroom and picked up her robe from the king-sized sleigh bed. She was going to go downstairs and have some coffee… _No, you're going to have a glass of orange juice instead! _Caffeine was not good for the tiny person that was beginning to grow inside her.

_You don't know if you're pregnant, so don't get too excited. _

She couldn't help it… This was her one big dream. It just had to work out. She pulled on the robe as she was going down the stairs to her kitchen. Her hands were shaking again. It was going to be hell waiting for the appointment at nine.

The next three hours were going to be very long and so would the wait for the results after the test was over. She didn't even think about what excuse she was going to give for being late this time. Hopefully Hotch would help out again. She was going to owe him big time when this was all over.

Sophie entered the kitchen and meowed loudly. "Okay… but only one treat for you. Don't beg for more because you won't be getting it."

Sophie wound around her feet and rubbed her head over Emily's calves. "Don't try to kiss up to me… It won't work."

She got the cat a treat and then put out some food for her which the cat attacked as though she hadn't been fed in weeks.

Emily had orange juice despite her eyes lingering on the coffee pot. It would smell delightful and… _Don't think about it!_

_What am I going to do when Reid is sitting there at his desk, or at the round table in the conference room, with a cup of his usual heavily sugared coffee? _

_You'll take it without complaint because you want to have a healthy baby. _

Still it wasn't fair that Reid's part in all of this was over and he could go on drinking his coffee and eating whatever he wanted.

She put a hand on her flat stomach. "I promise to take good care of you. I'll try not to complain about the lack of coffee again."

Sophie meowed and Emily grinned at the cat. "You're going to have to share me from now on."

The cat just looked at her. "It's your fault you know. You're the one that talked me into this."

The cat swished her tail and left the kitchen. "You'll be back!" Emily yelled after the cat. "Remember who feeds you!"

She had fresh fruit and a hard boiled egg with a piece of toast she spread with strawberry jam. It wasn't as good as some scrambled eggs and sausage would have been, but at least it was healthier. The time passed quickly and soon all her chores were done. She dressed in a dark blue pants suit with a light blue, long sleeved blouse, under the jacket. She was putting on her shoes when she noticed she had less than thirty minutes to get to the clinic.

The sun was up, but it was cold. It had snowed the night before, covering the ground like a dusting of powdered sugar. It had thawed the week before, and she could see the brown and gold grass under the snow when she pulled out of the parking lot.

The traffic was cooperating for a change and she got to the clinic with ten minutes to spare. There was a different girl on the front desk and Emily wondered what had happened to Stacey. Reid had told her about how the girl had talked his ear off every time he'd gone in for testing. Emily was surprised to realize that she was happy the girl wasn't there. The thought of her flirting with Reid made Emily's hands clench a little tight around the strap of her purse, which was weird!

She didn't have too much time to think about though, as Mai came out two minutes later and took her back to a room.

"How are you?" She asked in her soothing voice. She had on dark blue scrubs and a white lab coat that day. Her black hair was pinned up on her head and she wore white tennis shoes on her tiny feet.

"I'm fine."

"Sure you are!"

"I'm pretty nervous."

"Of course you are." She got Emily seated in a chair and put a blood pressure cuff around her arm. Emily tried to think about anything but the reason she was there while Mai took her vitals. "Your blood pressure is a little elevated."

"I'm not surprised!"

"Still, I need you to calm down." She took Emily's hand and Emily surprised herself by beginning to cry. "You know that if the test comes back negative, you can try again. This isn't the end of the line."

"I know… I guess it finally hit me that this could be real and I'm a little freaked out."

"It's okay to be freaked out. I would be concerned if you weren't a little freaked out."

"Really," Emily sniffed while the nurse stuck the thermometer in her ear.

"I've worked here for years and I've seen every reaction you can imagine."

"Okay…" Emily took a deep breath and Mai smiled.

"Now, let's get you to the lab. They'll draw your blood and you'll have the results later today. Dr. Kelly wants to talk to you too. Before we go to the lab, I have a couple of questions for you. How have you been feeling?"

"Really good… Um, I had some spotting when I woke up this morning and the doctor said that was normal."

"It could be a sign of implantation. We'll see when we get the test results back."

"Okay…"

---

Emily was opening the door to her car when her cell phone rang. She got in the car and shut the door on the cold morning before answering the line.

"Prentiss," She said.

"_Emily… We've got a new case in Illinois. We're leaving in half an hour."_

"I'll meet you at the plane Hotch."

"_Good. How was your appointment?" _

"I just finished. I had a pregnancy test and we'll know by tomorrow."

"Are you feeling up to being in the field?"

"Yes… I have to get my mind off the test Hotch. I need to work."

"I'm glad to hear it. You're a valued member of this team."

"Thanks Hotch. I'll see you at the airstrip."

---

The plane lifted off the ground and it pulled Emily's stomach into her back like always, but it was different this time. This might be her baby's first plane ride and the thought made her smile.

"Why are you so happy?" Morgan asked.

"Because the holidays are over and that means we're that much closer to spring."

Six pairs of eyes looked at her. "What? I'm serious!"

"The holidays have been over for two weeks. Why is that such a good thing?" Morgan asked.

"Can we get back to the case?" Hotch cut off his agent before Emily could think up a good excuse.

When the plane landed in Springfield, they were met by Detective Allen. Jordan introduced the profilers and they separated to drive to the police barracks in borrowed SUVs. It was lunch time when they arrived so they decided to call out for food. Hotch herded them all into the large room that had been set aside for them to work.

The food arrived after they'd gone over the details of the case. The man they were chasing this time had been kidnapping, raping and killing little girls. The average age of the children was five years old. They were dumped in vacant lots all over the city and left to rot with the overgrown weeds and trash.

"So the first victim was found downtown on the south side of the city." Reid was at the map, marking locations of the dump sites and trying to come up with a geographical profile.

"Yeah… There was a substance under the first victim's fingernails that the lab hasn't been able to identify yet. It looks like some kind of drug, but not one they've seen before," Rossi said.

"But, this is a sexually motivated crime." Emily said. "Most serial killers stay away from hard drugs. He's a meticulous planner and not impulsive. I don't see addictive behavior in the profile unless it's for the thrill of the kill."

"I agree, so let's talk about some place the un-sub and the victim has been that might lead us to him."

They went through it again while Reid stood staring at the board and ignoring them. Emily kept looking at him out of the corner of her eye even though she knew that someone might wonder why she was paying such close attention to the young genius.

It was four hours later when her phone buzzed. She took it out and looked at the caller id. It was Dr. Kelly's office. She looked at Hotch and he gave her a tiny nod. She left the conference room and went to an empty interrogation room.

Several minutes passed after she had closed her phone. Someone knocked on the door, but she didn't hear it. Her mind was spinning around so fast from the news that she almost didn't hear when someone opened the door, entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"Emily… Is everything okay?" He said.

She looked up and saw him standing there with a look of such hope in his eyes that she almost cried. "That was Dr. Kelly's office."

"Oh!"

"Yeah," She felt a bit dizzy and had to stay in her chair.

"So… um, what did he say?"

"Actually, that was Mai and she had some news for us…"


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/n here's the eagerly awaited next chapter. **_

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter.**_

"Actually, that was Mai… She has some news for us."

His face went white, and then red, so fast it was as though someone had pumped him full of red food coloring. He pulled out the only other chair from the table and dropped into it like he'd been shot.

"Um… So, ah what did she say?" He was squeaking and it was so endearing that Emily almost cried with relief.

"I'm pregnant!"

His face drained of color, like someone had pulled a plug inside of him. His hands were clasped on the table in front of him and were white at the knuckles.

"Reid?"

"Yes."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah… I'm fine. Um, I should be asking you that." His face cleared and he gave her a shy smile.

"I'm fine… I'm great in fact. I'm so happy and it's all due to you."

She jumped out of the chair and dashed over to him. He rose to meet her and she threw her arms around him. He stood very rigid in her embrace which made her regret her impulsive hug. Then, he put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. Her thoughts went back to Colorado and the happiness that had surged through her so fast, she'd got light-leaded at the sight of him and Morgan coming out of the burning building.

The spell was broken when he suddenly pulled away from her. "I guess we should go back. The others will wonder what happened to us." He said and he looked very unhappy to her. "Don't worry Emily. I'll keep my word. I'll play the part of the loving uncle. He or she will never know I'm their father."

"Reid…"

"I need to get back to the geographical profile."

"Sure, but wait just a minute."

He turned back from the door with a very guarded face. "Thank you," She said.

He gave her a small smile that made her release the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "You're welcome. I really am very happy for you."

He turned back to the door again and again she stopped him. "Reid… I don't want to tell anyone but Hotch. I want to get past the first trimester before I tell the rest of the team."

"I won't say anything Emily. I promise."

"I know you won't… I trust you more than anyone."

He gave the same shy smile that didn't touch his eyes. "I need to get back."

He left the room and she stood staring at the door after it shut behind him. This news was so much different from the moment over twenty years ago when she'd stood in the bathroom next to her bedroom looking at the pregnancy test she'd taken as a frightened seventeen year old girl.

This time, she wanted the child that would be growing inside her. Still, there was something missing from the moment. What was it? She had everything she'd ever wanted now. There was no reason to think of needing something to fill a gap in her life. Still, something was missing from the picture leaving her feeling disappointed and a little empty.

She shook her head as if to clear it and opened the door. She better get back to work before the others got suspicious.

----

The jet was a welcome sight after three days of intense work. Thanks to a Garcia tracing an email sent to a reporter in Springfield, and Reid's work on the geographical profile, they had found the last victim and the man that had taken her. The girl would be alright with time and the support of her family.

Reid boarded the plane ahead of them and stretched out on the bench. He was asleep before the others had stowed their gear. Emily sat down in a chair that faced away from the sleeping form of the father of her child.

_Don't you mean sperm donor. You confuse it in your mind, and pretty soon…_

_It was better not to go down that road._

Morgan sat across the way from her and pulled out a book. He read until the plane was in the air and Rossi was asleep. Jordan and Hotch were at the back of the plane. Hotch was deep into writing his report and Jordan was looking at their next case.

Emily had leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She was drifting into that place you go to between sleep and awareness when Morgan's voice penetrated her almost escape.

"Emily…"

She refused to open her eyes.

"I know you're not asleep."

"Go away Morgan."

"I can't go anywhere… we're thirty thousand feet in the air."

She opened one eye. "That's funny. I'm trying to sleep here."

"What do you think is bugging Reid?"

"_Nothing_."

"How can you say that?"

"Leave him alone Morgan."

"I'm _concerned_!'

"No, you're nosy."

"Emily…"

She looked at him and was nearly convinced by his concerned eyes to spill everything. _Almost!_

"I'm going back to sleep. Why don't you get some rest too? It's going to be after midnight by the time we get home."

"Emily!"

"Good night Morgan."

She shut her eyes and let the sandman sprinkle his dream dust over her till the plane landed several hours later.

---

The foyer of her mother's home was wide enough to allow two cars driving side by side to traverse it. The floors were a light pink marble veined with gold. A white pedestal sat in the middle of the room between two wooden staircases that curved up to the second floor. There was a crystal vase in the precise center of the polished marble that held a single pink rose that matched the floor. Other smaller pedestals stood to either side of the staircase and held flowers of white and pink. The perfume of the flowers was subtle, yet sweet and inviting.

Her mother descended one of the staircases and crossed the foyer. Her heels clacked on the floor and she didn't look happy to be interrupted. She wore her hair down in dark waves around her face. Her dark blue suit was tailored to show off a body that was still trim despite her age. She wore a simple gold chain around her neck and small round diamonds in her ears. She smelled of the jasmine that Emily remembered from growing up.

"I'm very busy Emily. What is so important that you couldn't tell me on the phone?"

"Can we go to the library and talk?"

"Emily please…"

"Mother, I want to have a private talk with you. It won't take long!"

"There's no need to get _upset_." She walked away from her daughter and down the hall to a door set in the middle of the hallway. Emily followed as though she were a servant attending to the queen.

"Okay… Now that you've pulled me away from the Ambassador of France…"

"Mother!"

"Yes dear," She went to the wet bar set into the wall next to the windows that looked over the south side of the large estate.

"I'm pregnant mother."

Elizabeth Prentiss stopped in the act of sitting on a long black leather couch her husband had insisted on installing in the room despite the fact that the Ambassador thought it made the room look like a den. Emily sat down on the other end of the offending piece of furniture and was reminded by the squeaking of the material of her father.

"I hope you didn't get me down here for jokes Emily." She finished sitting down and the space between them was so much more then the distance provided by the couch.

"I'm pregnant. I thought you'd be happy mother. You're the one that's always wishing for grandchildren."

"Yes… I had hoped for a son-in-law first."

"We can't always get what we wish for."

"There's no need for sarcasm."

"Mother…" Emily turned and faced her mother directly. "I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm a grown woman that knows what she's doing. Granted, I don't have a man in my life, but frankly I don't need one. My child will have all the good male influence it needs from the men on my team."

"It's not the same thing!"

"I know that! But, I'm not going to run out and marry the first guy that shows the least bit of interest. The deed is done mother, and you'd better get used to it."

Mrs. Prentiss put down the glass of brandy she'd poured on the mahogany table that had been polished to a mirror shine, just like everything else in the house. "I don't suppose you'll tell me who the father is."

"I had an artificial insemination procedure done. Yes," She held up a hand to stop her mother's next comment. "I know who the father is. It wasn't an anonymous donor. However, we decided to keep it between the two of us. I won't betray him by telling you."

"Well I must say that I'm disappointed that you've given up on finding someone to love. You should have that in your life."

"Mother!"

"Alright… I obviously have no say in this. Is it alright to ask when the child will be arriving?"

"I'm due on the sixteenth of October."

"I'll tell the cook to expect one more for the holidays."

"That's not funny mother!"

"Can't a mother be happy for her child?"

Emily eyed her mother who got to her feet and was approaching. "Get up and give me a hug." She ordered her daughter.

Emily stood and gave the hug, but there was a gap that was more like a chasm that couldn't be bridged by good intentions and proper behavior.

---

Reid sat at the chair in his kitchen. The small wooden table was littered with crumpled pieces of paper and a paper plate that held half a slice of the combo pizza he'd ordered. The smell of onions, pepperoni, and cheese didn't permeate the haze of thoughts that swirled around in his head.

He couldn't get what he wanted to say down on paper no matter how hard he tried. It just wasn't something you could put into a letter. He picked up a clean sheet of paper and began to write. "Dear Mom… I have some news to tell you. You're going to be a grandmother."

He picked up the paper and crumpled it up. Some of the failed attempts lay on the floor around his feet. He added this endeavor to that pile and tried again. Why was this so hard? It's not like he was telling her face to face what he'd done.

_Maybe you're having trouble because telling your mom will probably freak her out! _

That was true enough! How did one tell his mother that he had agreed to a scheme involving donating sperm to impregnate a fellow employee?

It should be easy enough. Just write down_: _

_**Hey mom, it's me Spencer. Not much new going on here. We caught some bad guys. I had to call maintenance to fix the furnace last week. I nearly froze to death. Morgan has a new girlfriend and oh by the way… I donated my sperm to impregnate a friend. How was your week?**_

Yep, that would go over really well with a woman suffering from schizophrenia!

He pushed the paper away and put down the pen. The pizza was cold when he picked it up. It felt greasy, but he ate it anyway. What was a case of indigestion compared to the letter he couldn't right?

He picked up the pen again and took a clean sheet of paper from his notebook. He'd just right about his day, just like always and send it to her. She'd never see the child anyway… He'd made a bargain after all. He would stay away. Kids didn't like him anyway so it was no chore.

_Dear Mom,_

_Do you remember how you always used to tell me that friends were the most valuable of all possessions? You used tell me that helping a friend was the best use of my time and energy. I know your proud of me mom. It took me a long time to realize if, but I believe it. I hope you'll still be proud of me when you read this letter. _

_So I'll just tell you… You've never met Emily. She replaced Elle on my team at work. She's a wonderful woman and very pretty. She's several years older them me, but I don't' really realize it when I talk to her. She's very smart and a great profiler. _

_She decided that she wanted to have a baby. She isn't married and she just got tired of waiting to find someone to love I guess. I don't understand because I think she's great. _

_Anyway, she decided to have artificial insemination done. She asked me to be her donor and I agreed. She's pregnant mom. The baby is going to be born a week before my next birthday._

_I love you mom. I hope you understand that this is something I had to do for a friend. I hope one day you'll be able to meet your grandchild. _

_I'll write more tomorrow. _

_Love, _

_Spencer_

He read over the letter. It was as good as it was going to get. So why did he feel so empty?


	14. Chapter 14

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Warning: see my profile and the first chapter_**

Thursdays were his least favorite day of the week. Thursday was like the ultimate tease. It was the promise of Friday, but not quite. Sometimes, he didn't notice what day it was if they had a case that was gobbling up all their attention. But on a day like today, when all he had to keep him busy were some case files on his desk, he noticed the day, the hour, the minute, and the second.

"Hey Spence!"

JJ entered the bullpen. Four weeks had passed since Emily had got the news that she was pregnant. Every time someone tried to get his attention, he felt like he'd been caught doing something naughty. It was like he'd become a kid or something. That exact feeling was making a pit in his stomach at the sound of JJ's voice.

He looked up and saw her coming toward him with a file in one hand and a photo album in the other hand.

"I have new pictures for the godfather."

She put the file on top of his pile and opened the book. "You missed out when I brought these in a couple of weeks ago."

The last thing he wanted to do was look at pictures, but JJ would know that something was bothering him if he didn't fake it and pretend to be happy.

JJ was showing him a picture of Henry in a tiny leather jacket that Garcia had got for him. He had to admit that the baby was pretty cute.

"See… He's adorable when he's been awake for awhile."

"Yeah. He looks fine."

"And look at this one. There's Will and Henry playing with the tiny little basketball Will got for him on his one month birthday."

_Did a father have to get babies gifts every month that they age? No one told him about that. _

He looked at the picture and noticed that Will looked really happy with the baby. Reid knew that being a dad was a big responsibility and that it wasn't all roses and rainbows, but if Will could do it, then he could do it.

JJ flipped to the next page of the album. Reid nodded, and smiled, and made the appropriate noises of how cute Henry was for the next fifteen minutes. He couldn't deny that the child was a beautiful little guy and seeing him in JJ's arms during a family party made him wonder what the baby that Emily was carrying was going to look like.

_Remember what it felt like to hold Henry right after he was born?_

The only person in his life that had given him any real affection was his mother. And that had been much hit and misses depending on whether she was taking her meds. The last person that had hugged him was Emily. But she didn't want him to be part of the process now. Did that mean there was something about him that she didn't want to expose her child to?

"Hey Spence…"

He jerked out of his thoughts and looked down at JJ who was staring up at him with a probing expression he recognized. She was much more perceptive than most of the team realized. If anyone could see through the shield he was trying to hide behind in order to keep his secret with Emily it was JJ.

_Would it be so bad to confide in someone_?

_Yes… You made a promise to Emily. You can't break it!_

"Spence!"

"Sorry JJ, I was thinking about a case."

"Sure you were… I know what you look like when you've got a difficult case on your mind and that's not the expression I'm used to."

Morgan was hunched over his desk and didn't appear to be paying attention to him. Emily was gone. She told him that she had her first ultrasound that day. Reid had wanted to go with her, but he was trying to keep his promise even if it meant missing out of something he really wanted to see.

He looked back at JJ and she was still looking at him. "I can't talk about it JJ."

"Are you sure?"

She was concerned and it showed, but he couldn't let that concern push him into blurting out something, especially with Morgan around. It would be hard enough when Emily decided to tell the team that she was pregnant.

"Yeah… I'm sure."

"Okay. So when are you going to come over to dinner. Will and I really want you to spend more time with Henry."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

He sat back down in his chair and JJ perched on the edge of her desk. "Why - because Henry was a little grumpy the last time you saw him?"

"Well yeah, he doesn't like me."

"That's not true! He loves you. You just caught him at a bad time."

"Alright, I'll think about coming to dinner."

JJ lit up like Christmas lights, and he couldn't help but smile at her

"Good. I'm going to make it my personal mission to come over for dinner. You and Henry are going to be best friends."

"Alright…" But he wasn't so sure about that.

---

Emily opened the door to her brownstone and flipped on the lights. It had been one of the longest days of her life, but also one of the best. She put her coat in the closet and left her purse, badge and gun on the table in the entryway.

She went to the kitchen for some tea. A perusal of her kitchen didn't show anything interesting or healthy for dinner. There was a number on the refrigerator for Chinese, but the thought of vomiting it back up in the morning did wonders for her appetite.

She looked again and decided that maybe a cheese omelet and some asparagus would be the best thing right now.

An hour later, she was finished with dinner and the clean up. The folder she'd brought with her from the doctors appointment was on the table in front of her. Even though she'd seen the images of her baby on the screen at the clinic, pulling the pictures out and looking at them was an entirely different thing.

She pulled them out of the folder and began to try and see what the technician had showed her during the test. The tech had been kind enough to mark the pictures, but she still couldn't tell that it was a baby. The doctor had told her that since she was just 6 weeks along, the baby would be the size of a grain of rice and wouldn't look like a baby.

She turned the picture this way and that and tried to see if it looked like it should. "What am I talking about? How would I know if anything was wrong with it? The tech said that everything looked okay and Dr. Kelly said everything was okay. Stop worrying!" But it wasn't that easy because she kept thinking about her age and all that can go wrong.

She put the picture back on the table and jumped when her cell phone began to beep. She looked at the caller id and stopped in her tracks. She had forgot that she'd promised to keep Reid apprised on how the baby was doing. He might be staying out of the process, but it was only fair to let him know how the baby was growing.

"Hi Reid," she said.

"_Emily… Is everything okay? You didn't come back to the office and I was worried." _

"Everything's okay Reid. I just forgot to call. I'm sorry."

"_So how did the appointment go?"_

"The doctor said I'm okay. He's very pleased how things are going and the ultrasound was great."

"_Oh!" _

"What's wrong Reid? You sound upset."

"_I was just wondering if I could see the pictures of the ultrasound."_

"Sure! "

"_Really…" He squeaked. _

"Yeah… You sound surprised."

"_I thought you'd say no." _

"I'm not going to tell you that you can't see the pictures. You have a right to see your child before and after he or she is born."

"Can I come over right now?"

"Reid, I'm really tired. Can you please just wait till tomorrow?

He was silent for a very long time. Then he said, _"I just want everything to be okay for you both. I care about you Emily." _

Something in his voice made her heart beat just a little faster. She suddenly felt warmer as though he was holding her like the night in Colorado when she almost lost him to a maniac. She shivered despite the warmth. This was getting out of hand.

"I care for you too Reid. You're one of the best friends I have. Who else would do this for me? You're putting up with so much so that I can be happy. I can't thank you enough."

"_I did it because I want you to be happy Emily." _

"I am, very happy."

"_Okay listen, I have to go. Um, I'll talk to you tomorrow at work."_

"Goodbye Reid. Thanks for checking up on me. I'll bring the picture in tomorrow. Can you meet me at my desk before everyone else arrives?"

"_Sure, I'll see you tomorrow." _

She hung up from the call and went to the table where she'd placed here photo album. She picked up the black and white photographs, and opened the white scrapbook that sat on the top of the coffee table.

The first page said "My first photo album." in pink and blue letters. There was a picture of Emily with the caption underneath: "My Mommy!"

_There should be a picture of Reid with the caption: My Daddy!_

She told that voice to shut up and added the ultrasound photo to the book. There were many more pages to be filled that spanned the baby's first year. She was going to take as many pictures as she could to remember this first year. Maybe she could have a page for "Uncle Reid," too. It was only fair.

_Are you feeling guilty for cutting him out of the process?_

"No! We made a deal!"

The problem was that she was starting to feel like it had been a bad deal to make.

---

Emily got off the elevator at eight forty-five am. Reid was already in the bull pen. He was looking at a file and seemed to be completely absorbed in his work, but she knew better. She drew in a huge breath and went to talk to him.

"Hi Reid."

He jumped as thought goosed and then he went pink in the cheeks. "Hi Emily."

"Is anyone else here?"

"N-no. I haven't seen anyone else. I think Hotch is in his office."

"Okay." She reached into her bag and pulled out the ultrasound photo.

She watched him look at it and turn it this way and that. Suddenly she felt total relief that she hadn't been able to really see anything recognizable as human.

"Um… so I think, well - the baby at this stage is about the size of a grain of rice. The features aren't fully formed. In the coming weeks -"

"It's okay Reid. I really couldn't tell that it was a baby either."

He looked so relived that she nearly laughed. "Really! I mean I didn't want to say because well it's our baby and -"

"It doesn't make you a bad person Reid. We just have to wait for next time and I'm sure the baby will start to look like a baby."

"Well, sure it will."

The elevator doors opened and Morgan stepped out. Emily slipped the photo back into her bag and went to her desk. By the time Morgan had gone to get his coffee, they were both deep into their case files.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see the first chapter and my profile**_

"What's wrong with Emily?" Morgan asked Reid one Thursday afternoon.

Three months had passed since Reid and Emily had got the news of the successful commingling of their DNA. That's what Reid kept telling himself every time he saw Emily. It was like a job well done on a science project, one that would take another six and a half months to complete.

"How should I know?" He answered back with out hesitating. Morgan always picked up on the hesitation. It was better not to give him an in.

"Because you sit next to her and she's been popping up out of her desk every morning and running to the restroom."

"I hadn't noticed." Reid kept his face in the file JJ had given him the night before.

"Well, she's either developed a very small bladder or she's pregnant."

If he'd been drinking the cup of coffee he'd been dreaming of, he might have choked on it or dropped it. As if was, he was barely able to keep from knocking his stack of files on the floor when his hands jerked.

"P-pregnant," He stuttered, unable to control his mouth.

"Yeah, you know Reid, sperm meets egg. I'm sure you know that "birds do, bees do it, and even educated fleas do it. Let's do it, let's fall in love." He sang.

"Morgan!"

"What's up hot stuff?" Garcia interjected as she entered the bullpen with a stack of files and a cup of tea.

"Hey there baby girl. What ya got for me."

"Nothing interesting…. I've tagged a bunch of addresses for you to check." She dropped a file on Morgan's desk. "I'm sure Detective Small will appreciate it."

"It's nice to have a case right here in town."

"Just be sure not to get blown up. You know I hate when you walk into a building that might blow up in your face or drive a bomb-laden ambulance into the middle of a city park."

"Don't worry mama… I'm just consulting on this. I don't plan on getting in the thick of it. Besides I have a hot date tonight. Why would I jeopardize that for a little explosive?"

"Little! If even half of what I managed to dig up on this guy is true, he's sitting on several pounds of C4 and that's not counting what might be at those addresses."

"I told you… I'm hanging back and letting ATF and DHS handle this one. I've had my fill of terrorists for the next couple of decades."

Emily had come back to her desk while Garcia and Morgan were bickering. She turned her attention to the stack on her desk with her head down as though expecting an explosion.

Reid was mentally cheering Garcia for distracting Morgan when his partner said, "Hey Prentiss, you still trying to kick the stomach flu? I've never seen a case hang on this long. Usually you're as healthy as a horse."

"Yeah, are you okay?" Garcia headed Emily's way and Reid put his head down again.

If they weren't careful, their cover would be blown. Damn it! When would Emily tell everyone?

"Morgan, Prentiss, Reid, I need you in the conference room now."

Reid silently thanked God for a new case. Emily jumped up first and dashed up the steps with more energy than Reid had seen from her in weeks. He wasn't sure that she should be running like that. She was pregnant and even though he knew that there was no danger of the embryo shaking loose or something, it was still freaking him out to see her move that fast.

"Reid," Morgan said, interrupting his thoughts

"You heard Hotch we have a case." Reid made his escape and left Morgan and Garcia looking at each other.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know mama, but I intend to find out."

---

Emily was sitting at the small table in her hotel room wondering if she'd be able to keep down anything at breakfast. She needed the energy as this case was getting to them all. If she went to the doctor in two days looking like she did now with dark circles under her eyes and hands that were shaking, he might make her take enforced time off.

It didn't help that she had to dodge Reid every time he thought they were alone. His endless questions about her health were getting on her nerves. What had happened to the deal they'd made three months ago?

She was about to get into the shower when someone knocked at her door. She pulled on her robe and looked at the clock on the bedside table. No one else but Reid or JJ would knock this early when they were out on a case. She could guess who was on the other side of the door.

"Damn it Reid." She hissed when he stepped into her room.

"Good morning to you too," He said very cheerfully

"Drop the attitude mister. I'm not in the mood this morning."

He was carrying a steaming cup in his hands, and bag of saltine crackers. "I brought you some tea and some crackers."

"I can see that," She snapped as he put the bag of crackers on her bed. "What I don't see is how you don't get that I don't want you here. I thought we had a deal Reid."

"We do, but there's nothing that says I can't be concerned for a friend."

"You're splitting hairs and you know it."

"I'm not… I'm just checking on a sick friend. I brought you something to settle your stomach so that you don't have to run out on breakfast with the guys. Unless you're ready to tell them that you're pregnant."

"No… I'm not ready. I have another ultra sound this week. If everything is okay, then I'll tell everyone."

"I think Morgan already knows."

She rounded on him from her path to the hotel door. "What did you say to him?"

"I didn't tell him anything." Now his voice was beginning to rise in volume. "I can't believe you'd think I would tell him without talking to you first."

"Why not," she flung back at him. "You refuse to get over your obsession with me and the health of our baby."

"You said it." the anger left his face so fast it almost gave her whiplash to watch it.

"I said what?"

"You said 'our baby,' you've been calling it yours for the last three months." "A slip of the tongue doesn't change anything."

"Actually I think that's what is known as a 'Freudian slip,' he countered smoothly.

"You don't take Freud seriously. I've heard you say that he's been discredited. Jung is your expert of choice as I recall,"

"I was wrong!"

"No you weren't, you're twisting things to suit _you_. Now get out of this room so I can finish getting dressed."

"Emily…"

She was about to say something terrible that would have made him hate her, but her stomach picked that moment to rebel. She shoved past him, ignoring the surprised look on his face, and made her way into the bathroom.

She didn't hear the door open after she slammed it, or hear the footsteps approach as she knelt in front of the porcelain god she'd been worshipping for far too long. Gentle fingers found her back and other fingers held her hair. The circles he was rubbing on her back began to relax her more than she wanted, but she was powerless to make him stop.

He was talking to her in a low quiet voice that was soothing and gentle in her ears. She stayed on the tile floor despite the pain in her knees and the acid aftertaste in her mouth and throat. The toilet flushed, but she didn't hear it. He helped her to her feet, but she didn't remember initiating the rise from her knees.

"Thank you." She said reaching for the glass next to the sink.

"You're welcome. I'm here because I care for you Emily."

"Reid…"

"I'll go now if you want me too. I can tell everyone that you're not feeling well."

"Stop treating me like I'm made of glass." She jerked away from the hand that was still on her back. "I don't need you to go running off to Hotch or anyone else."

"Emily…"

"Look Reid, I really appreciate what you did. Thank you."

"I'm sorry if I upset you."

"I know you are. I also know that you can't help yourself, but I want you to listen to me now. I need you to promise me that you'll stay away."

"I can't Emily. I was wrong to agree to just back away. I'm going to be father. I refuse to leave my child without a parent."

"You promised!"

"I know! I was wrong. I can't do this anymore."

"I don't want to do this with you Reid. We have a case that we need to work on."

Reid left the bathroom and went to the door that led back to the hallway. "If not now, when, I'm tired of the excuses not to talk."

"I'm not trying to hurt you Reid. Why can't you understand that?"

"Because every time someone says that to me, I get _hurt_," She saw tears jump into his eyes before he turned back to the door.

He left, shutting the door quietly instead of slamming it like she had expected. She went back to the bed and sat. "Nice way to handle things Emily. Why don't you go find a puppy to kick right in front of him?"

---

Emily took a seat in the waiting room. The table in front of her had new magazines for a change, but she didn't want to read them. The fight with Reid and the subsequent silence that had fallen between them bothered her more than she wanted to admit. It was supposed to have been so simple and now everything had gotten messed up.

"Hi." Someone said.

She looked up to see the same blond woman she'd been seeing here since the first time she'd come to the clinic. The woman had a small baby bump. The man with her sat down to the left of Emily.

"Hi," She said, wondering if they had actually met and she had forgotten.

"I'm sorry to bother you," The blond said. "My name is Jessica Davis and this is Eric."

"I'm Emily Prentiss."

"See Eric, I knew it was her."

The blond sat down on the other side of Emily. "I'm sorry… I must sound crazy to you. I've seen you here before and I've seen you at the Russian embassy. My husband is a translator there. We met at a party for some function or another."

Emily smiled vaguely. "I'm sorry, I don't remember."

Jessica laughed. "There's no reason you should, I can't remember half the people I've met at some of those functions. I imagine it must be worse for you as the daughter of Ambassador Prentiss."

Emily felt her shoulders relax. "Yeah… It is hard to remember everyone."

"Is this your first baby?" Jessica asked."

"Jess… Leave her alone," Eric pushed back his dark hair from his face with the hand that wore his gold wedding band."

"It's okay." Emily said. "This is my second pregnancy."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks. So is this your first child?"

Jessica's face fell and Emily was about to apologize when Eric said. "No… We have a son. We used a surrogate instead of in-vitro. She changed her mind and we lost custody of the baby last year."

Eric swiped at tears that ran down his cheeks. Her heart constricted at the sight. How horrible to lose a child that way.

Eric swallowed with an audible click. "It was really hard. We trusted this woman and she took advantage of us. I never get to see my son now and it kills me every time I think about him. I'd give anything to just hold him once."

Jessica jumped up and went over to the other side of her husband. "We were so happy when I finally got pregnant. It took three tries with in-vitro. It finally worked for us. Eric was so strong during all of this, but I know how much losing our son to the woman hurt him."

"Jess…"

"No!" Her blue eyes were flashing in anger. "You didn't deserve to be left without our baby and neither did I."

"What about going to court?"

"We already tried that…. Then our lawyer advised us to let it go. If he didn't believe in out chances, then how could we?" Eric said, but his eyes told a different story.

For a minute, his dark eyes reminded her of Reid. The same look that was in Eric's eyes was present in Reid's, and she hadn't seen it because she was selfish.

"Emily. Are you okay?"

"Yes," She shook her head. "I was just thinking. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Let's not bore her further." Eric said and the pain in his eyes retreated a bit, but not enough to make the guilty pit in her stomach go away.

The nurse came out and called Jessica and Eric back. "See you later Emily." Jessica stopped to give her a hug and then the perky blond and her husband disappeared down the hallway.

Emily put down the magazine that she'd been going to read. The guilt was growing in her stomach and making her sick. Eric seemed like a nice man who'd been badly used.

_Like someone else you know, only you're the one that's using him. You're making him feel like a prize stallion at a stud farm._

She pulled her phone out of her purse and hit the speed dial. "Hi Reid…" She said when he answered. "Yeah… I'm okay. Listen, would you mind coming up here. I'm having another ultrasound and I could use the company…


	16. Chapter 16

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter.**_

Reid opened the black and yellow cardboard box. The light from the window next to the table fell on the silver paperclips inside the box. He picked up two of the clips and strung them together. The feel of the metal under his fingers was soothing. He added a third clip to the chain he was making and found that all the thoughts that had been swirling inside his head, began to line up in order.

He'd made a mistake. He'd thought that agreeing to stay out of his child's life as the father was the right thing to do. He added another paper clip from the open box and watched the light blink off the silver surface of the chain.

He'd thought that it was best because he knew that Emily didn't love him. He wanted the whole package if he were to acknowledge his role in her pregnancy. He wanted her because he loved her. So he'd made this sacrifice because he loved her. Not that he'd admitted it to himself, or anyone else, because that would have been too easy. It was better to just do this big favor for her and then take what he could get by playing uncle to the child.

He strung another clip onto the chain. It was beginning to get very long and it hung off the end of his kitchen table. The sun sparkled in the windows and off the metal in his hands as though trying to blind him so that he could see the truth.

_How does blinding me help me see the truth? _

It didn't… The truth had always been there for him to see if he'd just taken off the emotional blinders he'd put on years ago to spare himself grief and the pain of rejection. His long fingered hand reached into the box and strung together another clip to the chain. He should have been able to put this together the minute she asked him to help her.

It was done, there was no going back. In a few months he was going to be a father and there was no way to make Emily see how much he wanted to be in that child's life. He added another paper clip to the chain and heard the soft click as the chain hit the floor.

Everything has an end and a beginning. His child began because he said he'd be her donor because it was what she'd wanted. His sanity or his piece of mind had ended the moment she told him that it had worked.

He added another silver clip to the chain. His fingers stopped moving and clasped the chain tightly in his hand as the thought occurred to him that maybe he hadn't believed that the process would work for her. Had he agreed to it simply because the odds had been against it? If so, they had beaten the odds. So what did that mean?

Did it even matter because she'd ordered him out of her life? She'd told him that she wanted him to stay away. The question was did he stay away for her or fight for the right to see his child and be a part of the life that was growing inside the woman he'd been falling for since Gideon left the team. She'd been so kind to him then. She was the one that forced him to confront the true meaning of why Gideon had left. She forced him not to blame himself for that leaving.

Was that love, or was it just being a good friend. Did she ask him to do this for her now because she loved him and couldn't face it?

No… That wasn't something that Emily Prentiss would do. She didn't play games with peoples lives like that. He added another paper clip to the chain and now it was trailing on the floor behind him. The box was nearly empty. There were three clips left. Still, the problem and its solution were eluding him.

He added the last three to the chain and held it up. It was easy to see the connections, but what was the solution to the problem. He should have listened to Hotch. If he had, he wouldn't be sitting in his kitchen playing with paper clips and refusing to make a decision.

His phone rang, snapping him out of these thoughts. If it was the office, he'd have to go in. God he hoped it wasn't the office. Not _now_, when there was so much to deal with.

"Reid." He said anxiously into the phone.

"Reid… It's Emily. Look I'm at the clinic having another ultrasound. I haven't gone in yet and I could use some company. Can you come over here?"

He dropped the chain of paper clips and almost dropped the phone. His carefully constructed line of thought was blown into a thousand pieces.

_She was asking him to take part in something he'd only dreamed about._

_Why is she asking you?_

He should be angry! He should tell her that he didn't have time for this. He should hang up the phone and go back to his thoughts and let her work it out for herself. Instead he told her he'd been there as soon as he could.

He shut the phone and looked down at the paperclips in a pile on the creamy yellow tile floor. He bent over and picked up one end of the chain. He held it up to his face and saw the line of his thoughts fall back into place. Then he hooked the two ends together to form a rather large circle.

---

Emily put her phone away and picked up her magazine. Reid had agreed to come with no problem. She should feel better, but instead her hands began to tremble. The pages of the magazine rubbed together with a nearly silent scratching sound.

Everything was going to _change. _

She put the magazine down on the table because reading had suddenly become impossible. Of course waiting there and just staring at the grey carpet didn't do anything for her nerves. A line had been crossed. There was no going back.

One part of her rejoiced and the other shook in fear. _Stop overreacting, you didn't ask him to marry you or anything. It was just a request for him to be part of a life you were trying to deny him. _

She jumped when Mai called her name. Excitement began to churn up her stomach again. What would the baby look like this time?

"Hey Emily…" Mai smiled the lovely soothing smile that she always had for Dr. Kelly's patients.

"Hey Mai," She tried to return the smile.

"You look a bit pale today." Mai had a very disapproving tone. Perversely, it made Emily want to laugh. "Are you taking your vitamins and getting plenty of rest?" Emily rolled her eyes behind the tiny woman's back. "I saw that." Mai said.

"Sorry… I'm just not used to having people fuss over me."

"Your mother should be ashamed of herself."

Emily laughed. "I dare you to tell her that."

"If I ever had her in front of me, I would." She said.

"I really am fine." Emily insisted as they entered the examination room.

Mai simply stood in front of her with her arms crossed over her chest. How could someone so small radiate so much authority?

"Alright… I'm having trouble with the baby's father."

"I can't imagine that handsome Dr. Reid being a problem for anyone."

Emily sat down on the wooden bench and Mai got out her digital thermometer. "We made an agreement."

"What kind of agreement?"

"We agreed that Reid would stay out of this after the procedure was successful. We decided that we didn't want to confuse the baby by not living together as a married couple, or lovers. So he agreed to be like an uncle to the baby."

Mai began to laugh, "Honey… What are you talking about? That's the silliest arrangement I've ever heard." She noted the temperature and picked up her blood pressure cuff.

"Do you always laugh at your patients?"

"Yes… When they act like children."

"I'm not acting like a child!"

"No talking till I get a reading." Mai shushed her.

So Emily sat there stewing about what Mai had said to her while the nurse took her readings and noted it down with her pulse rate.

"Okay, you were explaining to me why it was a good idea to try and cut that nice man out of his baby's life."

Emily opened her mouth, but couldn't make it form the words to explain.

"That's what I thought. Why did you two come here in the first place? "

"I wanted to have a baby and the best way to go about it was coming here."

"You didn't think about doing it the old fashioned way?"

"No!"

"Right… well I'll tell the doctor you're here."

"Mai?"

"Yes."

"Reid is coming in for the ultrasound. Would you tell the girls up front to send him back when he gets here?" Emily followed Mai back to the room from the scale and getting weighed.

Mai looked at Emily with something like understanding. "Yeah… Perhaps you aren't as dense about this as I thought you were."

"Hey…"

"I only say it because I want all my patients to be happy. Now Dr. Kelly wants to go in vaginally this time, for a better look. There's a robe for you over there." On that note, she left the expectant mother to disrobe and to think.

---

Reid was grabbed by Mai the minute he entered the office. "She told me you were coming in."

"Is she okay?"

"Yes. You can relax Dr. Reid."

"I'm fine," He insisted, unclenching his hands that had become fists.

"What is it with you two and the "I'm fine," mantra you both chant all the time?"

Reid could only stare at her. She grinned at him. "You look just like she did a minute ago when I said the same thing to her. When are you two going two stop playing games, and admit you love each other?"

They were halfway down the hallway to Emily's exam room. "Has anyone ever told you, that you'd make a great profiler?"

"Yeah, I hear that all the time."

"You _do_?"

"No, I'm joking. Seriously though, I need to ask you a very important question."

Reid went pink in the cheeks. "Oh um… what did you need?"

"Well, there have been a lot of women coming in here looking for genius sperm from a really good looking guy. I figure that since we have leftovers, you wouldn't mind if we used it. We just have to unthaw it."

Reid went greenish-white. "No! Um… well I don't think… _No_ I can't do _that_!"

"_Calm down _Dr. Reid… We don't give leftovers to just anyone when someone comes in to be a designated donor. That would be very unethical for us."

"Oh… well, uh thanks! Hey, that wasn't very funny." He said getting a bit red in the face.

"I'm sorry Dr. Reid. I just thought you might want to donate again and spread around that great DNA you have had going on. We'd pay you for it."

"No! I can't do that," He insisted.

"I understand Dr. Reid. Still it's a real shame. You do know that we'll dispose of the rest of your donation after the baby is born. We just need to keep it until Emily successfully completes her pregnancy. " She took his arm and pulled him down the hallway to Emily's room.

"You don't think anything will happen, do you?" He asked anxiously.

"No! Emily is very healthy. The pregnancy is going right on schedule. She and the baby are going to be fine. Now… Let's go get a look at that baby of yours." She winked at him and knocked briefly on the door.

Reid followed her into the room. Emily was sitting up on the table. She gave him a hesitant smile that made his insides knot up a bit.

"I'm going to go get Dr. Kelly." Mai said. "Why don't you two just make yourselves comfortable?"

She left the room. Reid sat down on the wooden bench and looked down at his dark blue converse shoes. Emily didn't say anything, so he looked up at her and saw that she was staring at him.

"Thanks for coming in. You didn't have to do this."

"Emily, you know how I feel."

"Yeah, I guess I do. I'm sorry." She suddenly blurted out. "I was wrong to try and keep you out of this. I never thought about how being kept away would hurt you. I really have turned into my mother."

"That's not true!"

"_Yes _it is. I practically ordered you to stay away without regard for your feelings. Why didn't you get mad at me? You're always so calm. You take things from people that you shouldn't and they just push more and more. I push more and more… I wish you'd yelled at me, or threatened to go to court, or something."

"I don't want to do that."

"Reid I think -"

She was interrupted by another knock at the door. Dr Kelly came in and greeted both of them. He shook Reid's hand and smiled at him.

"I'm glad Emily brought you in this time."

"Me too," Reid admitted.

"Okay, I'm sure that Mai told you I want to take a look vaginally for this ultrasound. We'll get a better look that way. I want to be absolutely sure that everything is okay."

"Alright," Emily said with a tremor in her voice.

The nurse draped Emily from the waist down. Reid went red and turned toward the door when his friend assumed the position.

"Let's take a look at your baby." Dr. Kelly said when Mai pulled Reid around again.

He was relieved that he couldn't see anything personal on Emily. The nurse turned on the monitor and he watched as the black and white screen hummed to life.

"Here we go." Dr. Kelly said. "Just relax Emily. There will be a little pinch, but I know you're used to that."

She nodded and then surprised Reid by reaching over to take his hand. He squeezed it and kept his eyes on the screen.

_It was really going to happen! _


	17. Chapter 17

_**Disclaimer: see my porfiles**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

_**A/n thank you all for your support of this story... I appreciate all the feedback. This might be the last chapter for awhile. I managed to sprain my right wrist today and have a brace on it which makes for akward typing. Also I have tennis elbow from too much use of the mouse so I have to rearrange it here at home and at work. Anyway... the good news is that I didn't sprain the hand I write with so I'll attempt to keep up in long hand and then transfer it to the computer. Thanks in advance for your understanding. I'll try to update as soon as I can.**_

"Pay _attention_ you two. Here comes the baby." Dr. Kelly said.

He sat up and adjusted the screen and the computer that was recording the readings from the ultrasound.

"Now… It's still a bit too early to determine the sex of the baby."

Reid looked down at Emily, but she was engrossed in the images that were appearing on the screen. They hadn't talked about whether they wanted to know the sex of the baby.

_Do I want to know?_

His heart was beating strangely as he looked back up at the screen. Emily had been through this before, but he'd never seen a fetal ultrasound except on television.

_This is so much better than television._

"We haven't talked about finding out the sex of the baby." Emily was saying.

She looked away from the screen up to Reid and he could see the answer in her eyes.

"Everything looks good. The baby is developing normally and I can confirm the due date of October 15th..

Normally, when the pregnancy isn't high risk, we wait to do an ultrasound at twenty weeks when you can see the sex of the baby. So, in four weeks, we'll do another ultrasound and you can tell me then if you'd like to know."

He tapped some keys on the computer and began pointing out the most prominent feature of the tiny baby that grew in a warm safe place.

"I don't see any problems with the uterus or the ovaries. The baby is implanted as is should be and if you look here you can see that string of pearls which is the spinal column of the baby."

Reid felt a burning at the back of his throat and tasted the salt of suppressed tears. Why hadn't anyone told him that this was the way he would feel seeing his baby for the first time. The doctor was pointing out the tiny feet and hands that were developing, and the sight made him hitch in his breath. Tears wouldn't be held back as it felt like his heart was going to burst from happiness.

The drive over here had been the scariest of his life as he'd thought he'd be terrified, but he wasn't scared at all. His hands were sweating and his heart was racing, but all he could think about was doing everything he could do to protect this tiny little person and its mother.

He looked at Emily again and saw that tears were running down her face too, his heart burst again from happiness. She was happy! She looked absolutely joyful. He'd done a very good thing in agreeing to do this for her. Her happiness made a thrill go down his spine and he smiled through his tears at her.

_What about you? Aren't you important too? _

"… Here we go." The doctor said.

Reid looked up at the doctor, wondering what the doctor was going to do now. He'd explained everything about how great the baby was doing. It all matched what Reid had read off the internet and in medical books. He wracked his brains till the steady beat of a small heart pushed through his contemplation.

Emily began to cry again.

"That heartbeat is strong and regular, just as it should be."

His heart began to feel like it wanted to beat in time with the baby's heartbeat. _If your heart beat that fast, you'd faint. Do you want to faint in front of Emily?_

No, he didn't want to faint in front of her. She had to know that she could count on him and fainting would put to bed any thoughts she might have of being able to count on him.

All too soon, the ultrasound was over and the doctor had switched off the computer. The sense of loss was nearly overwhelming. He looked back down at Emily and saw that she was looking up at him with the same expression of disappointment that he felt on his face.

"Why don't you get dressed and make another appointment for a month from now." Dr. Kelly was saying and it broke the spell around them. "Again, congratulations," He said and he left the room.

Emily sat up on the table, clutching at the sheet that had been used as a drape. "Thanks for coming. I can't believe you dropped everything for me after I treated you so badly the other day. You must hate me."

"I don't hate you Emily." _I love you._

"You should… I didn't take your feelings into consideration at all. I don't know what's _wrong_ with me."

She was looking at her bare feet instead of him. He watched her legs swing as they hung over the edge of the examination table. She had really nice legs; at least they were nice below the edge of the sheet. He wondered what they looked like under the sheet. After all, she usually wore slacks at work and he'd always admired her legs, but what did they look like bare.

_God, what is wrong with you. Stop it!_

"Are you sure you're not mad at me." She asked.

He looked up at her and his face felt like it was burning. She didn't seem to have noticed that he was checking out her legs.

_Yeah, if she had, she'd kick your ass. You deserve it! She's pregnant you pervert._

"Um… yeah," He squeaked and then cleared his throat. "I'm fine… I'm not mad at you. I don't hate you. I love you." He squeaked out.

"Reid I don't think that -

"I mean I love you like a best friend. Don't friends do things for each other? I wanted to do this for you because I knew it would make you happy." He added hastily, seeing the panic crawl over her face.

"My happiness isn't the only important thing Reid. You're important too. You don't ever think about yourself and while I admire that, I worry about you."

He was blushing like crazy at her words. "I'm okay. Um, I'm going to go now. I'll see you later."

"Reid!"

But he was gone through the door like mist disappearing over the horizon ahead of the rising sun on an early autumn morning.

---

She knocked on his apartment door, but he didn't answer. She waited for a couple of minutes and then knocked again. There was nothing but silence to greet her. "Reid… It's Emily! Please open the door. I need to talk to you."

A door opened, but it wasn't his door. She looked around and saw a small woman with grey streaked brown hair peeking out of the door across the hall.

"Dr. Reid isn't here." She said.

"My name is Emily Prentiss." Emily pulled her badge out of her purse and showed it to the woman.

"Oh yes… Dr. Reid talks about his work all the time. Won't you come in?

"No ma'am, I don't want to bother you. I'm looking for Dr. Reid. I wanted to talk to him."

"I saw him leave this morning, but he hasn't been back. It's not unusual. You agents have such odd working hours."

The woman had dark eyes that said busybody, but there was also something in them that made Emily think that this woman cared for Spencer like a mother.

"Yes we do. But I really need to speak with him. Do you know where he might have gone?"

"No. He keeps to himself. In fact, the only things he talks about are you and his mother."

This knowledge was like a knife to her heart. She should have thought more about all of this and the effect it would have on him.

"Well thank you Mrs…"

"I'm Mrs. Turner. Dr. Reid has been very kind and helpful to me and my husband. He lost his job and it's been hard for us.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Turner."

"Don't worry your pretty head. David got a job last week, so we're going to be back on track in no time. I'll never be able to thank him for talking to David when he was so depressed. He's so kind and understanding."

"He's very easy to talk to Mrs. Turner."

_Except when you are an insensitive bitch!_

"Yes he is… Now I'm making cookies and have to get back to them."

"Oh, of course you do. I'll just go now."

"You might look for him at the bookstore down the street. He's brings back a stack of books from there every day it seem. The owner lets him borrow them. I think he thinks of Dr. Reid like a son. And Dr. Reid reads more in one day than I've ever seen."

"He does like to read. Thank you Mrs. Turner."

Emily left the apartment building. She left her car in the parking lot and began the walk down the street to the bookstore on the corner. She'd noticed it when she'd driven here and wondered if Reid lived here because of the store.

It was a small establishment that had a sign over the door that proclaimed it "The Last Word." Under the name of the shop were the words: "Rare and out of print books are our specialty."

She opened the door and a bell tinkled over her head. To her left was a wooden counter with an old fashioned cash register at one end. The man behind the counter was very tall, with a full head of pure white hair. His eyes were the bluest she'd every seen and he had a smile that lit up the room.

"Welcome… Please feel free to look and stay for as long as you like." He said.

The room was very large and filled with stacks of books. There were a couple of round tables with matching chairs around them. There was one person sitting at the table reading. It wasn't Reid.

She went to the man behind the counter and showed him her badge. "I'm a friend of Dr. Reid."

"Oh, you must be Emily Prentiss."

"What?"

_Did he talk to everyone about her?_

"He asked me to send you downstairs when you came in."

He came around the counter and said, "Follow me."

She followed him through the room and past many books with leather covers and gold leaf to a door at the back of the building. He guided her down the steps that were immaculate under the yellow light of the bulbs that were spaced in the ceiling overhead.

"He's down at the end of the hallway looking at our special collection."

He gestured to her. She looked down the hall and saw a tall figure with his back to her. She recognized the bend of his back when he was involved in something that was taking all of his attention. But, there was something else in the way he was just standing there that made her feel worse about the last few days.

The man that had brought her down the stairs had disappeared. He'd gone back upstairs while she'd been staring at Reid's back.

She took a deep breath and mumbled to herself. "Here goes nothing."


	18. Chapter 18

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: See my profile and the first chapter**_

_**A/n thanks to all of your well wishes, and all the emails, and pms you sent to me. I'm doing better. I'm still going slow with typing, but it is getting better. I have to wear the brace for another three and a half weeks, but I'm in less pain. So thanks again for all your support.**_

"How did you know I'd come here?" Emily asked the back of his head.

He turned around and just looked at her for a minute.

"Oh right, I keep forgetting we're profilers. It strikes me at the oddest times. "

"Well, we did promise each other that we wouldn't profile one another." He reminded her.

"True," She took a slow step closer to him as though he might run away like a spooked colt. "Your next door neighbor sent me here."

"Mrs. Turner is a bit of busy-body, but she means well."

"She seems nice." Emily said lightly.

He put down the book she'd seen him holding. It was leather-bound, old and probably rare. It was placed so that she couldn't see the title of the book.

_What could he be reading that he hasn't already read?_

"She cooks for me all the time." He said softly and it still broke through her thoughts.

"And yet somehow you manage to stay so thin," she teased.

"Why does everyone worry about my weight?"

"Because you're as skinny as a runway model."

"I am not!"

Silence filled up the room as they stared at each other. She'd chased him there to explain her change of heart, but now the only words that would come out of her mouth were insignificant small talk.

"So, what are you reading?" She pointed to the book.

"Did you come here to ask me what I'm reading?"

_Okay, if he wanted to be a hard case about it._

"No, I came here because I wanted to tell you that I was wrong to try and shut you out of your child's life."

"I've been wondering that since you called me."

"I know."

"I wondered, but I was afraid to ask or to hear the explanation."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It doesn't make sense."

He did look genuinely confused. Emily wanted to smile, but bit it back. Sometimes in his quest for all things logical, Reid got lost. It was hard to remember, especially when they weren't on a case, that he didn't see the world like most people.

"I think it makes perfect sense."

He looked so surprised that she wanted to laugh again.

"I'm just saying that you look at things differently than most of us. Your experience has taught you that people will treat you a certain way. You were bullied in school and there are a lot of people in the bureau that don't understand your contribution to the team. You're used to being treated like you don't matter."

"Emily…"

"No, let me finish. I never wanted to make you feel like you're not important to me or the baby. I care deeply for you. You're one of the best friends I have in DC. It was wrong of me to ask this of you and then try to cut you out of the baby's life.

"But you didn't try to cut me out. I agreed to it. If you remember I was the one to impose the condition."

"I would have insisted on it if you hadn't brought it up."

"Still I would -"

"Would you stop being so understanding for once?" Her voice rose and he flinched away. "Get mad for once and tell me that you're angry."

"Alright I'm angry."

"Reid!"

" Alright," His voice began to rise a bit. I'm pissed as hell. Are you hearing me? His face was red and he held his hand in clenched fists at his side. "You had no right to tell me that I couldn't be a father to my child. And yet I knew that's what you would try to do."

He stopped suddenly as if the force of his verbal attack on her had used up all the energy he had.

She hit him on the shoulder, hard. "Don't stop!"

"I don't have anything else to say."

"You're hopeless!"

He laughed while his face returned to its normal color. "I just don't see the point of anger. I just had the most incredible experience of my life. I don't want to bring anger into it."

Emily felt tears backing up in her throat again. "See, that just makes it worse."

"Why?"

"I talked to a couple in the waiting room before the ultrasound. They were having their second attempt at in-vitro fertilization. They had a surrogate mother and a baby boy resulted from that. She changed her mind and fought them for custody. She won."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, he was so broken up about it. I just couldn't think of raising this baby and keeping you out of it. Your baby deserves to know who you are. I was wrong to make the agreement."

"We were wrong. Can we just agree to disagree about it? I don't want to talk or think about the last three months and agreeing to stay away from my child."

"Alright, we'll let it go for now."

"Thank you." She pretended not to notice how tears rolled down his face.

"You shouldn't thank me. You should be mad at me."

"I can't… Everything is alright now, so what's the point of wasting energy."

"What are we going to tell 'baby on board?''

"We have a couple of years Emily. We'll figure it out." He looked terrified.

"Okay, but if it blows up on us, I'm going to remind you of this day."

"I suppose that's fair. Can we get out of here?"

"Sure… It's sort of creepy down here. Aren't places like this supposed to be musty and dusty?" She said looking around at the shelves and stacks of books in pristine order.

"No… that's just in the movies or on television. Actually, to preserve a rare book, you have to keep the dust away. The acid in paper reacts with dust and moisture, so you can't just put them on the shelf and expect that they won't just rot away. If these books were kept in some musty basement somewhere with that kind of lighting, they be ruined and that would be a shame."

"And he's back…"

He grinned at her. "Sorry… I didn't mean to start rambling."

"Yes you did." She took his arm.

"Wait…" He picked up the book and followed her up the stairs.

"What's that?" She asked, gesturing to the book as the entered the main level of the store.

He ignored her in favor of Walter. The white haired man smiled at both of them. "I see you found each other."

"Yeah… I'm surprised you let her go down there."

"Why do you say that my son."

"Because you're very particular about your books. It took me three years coming in here every day I'm not on a case for you to trust me in your special section. "

"I trust you young man. If you trust her, then I trust her."

Reid went pink in the cheeks again and placed the book on the counter. "How much for this?"

"Ah… you have good taste, but I don't think I can part with this."

"It's for a friend's baby."

"But babies don't read," The man pointed out looking like he was losing a child.

"True, but someday." Reid reminded the man.

"Still, I've had that one since I was a child."

"You said that I was welcome to anything down there." Reid gently scolded the older man.

"You're right… I'll wrap it up for you."

Emily watched the exchange with interest. Walter seemed to have great affection for Reid. Suddenly she was glad that he did. Reid always seemed so alone.

"Can you tell me how he gets me to sell him one of my most prized possessions?" Walter interrupted Emily's thoughts.

"It's the eyes," She told him while Reid went red again. "You can't resist them no matter who you are."

"_Emily_!"

"Your friend is right young Reid. And now I must ask you for an obscene amount of money for that book."

Reid smiled and handed the man his credit card. Emily nearly choked at the price, but Reid didn't seem bothered. He took the package.

"I will see you tomorrow." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah… I'll be here if we don't have a case."

"Then be well my young friend."

Emily followed Reid out of the bookstore and down the street. "Why the hell would you spend so much money on a book?" She confronted him.

"Language," He said vaguely.

_"What_?!"

"Babies can hear things outside the womb."

"The baby is exactly sixteen weeks gestational age. I don't think he or she understands the spoken language."

"Actually there have been several studies done that show babies are affected by emotions from the mother and from others."

"Right, emotions, not words," She pointed out to him as the passed a Starbucks and he looked longingly inside the window at all the people in line for his favorite beverage. "You can go get some coffee if you want to."

"No, I drink too much anyway."

Emily stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. "I think I'm either going deaf or I'm having an out of body experience."

"Why? Are you okay. Is something wrong? Should I call the doctor? "

"No! I'm fine. I just meant that you turning down coffee is like Morgan swearing off women."

He visibly relaxed. "Don't scare me like that!"

"You take everything so literally. You need to stop that or when this kid is a teenager, he or she will walk right over you."

"Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "Were you never a teenager?"

"Yeah…"

"You never tried to manipulate an authority figure or your mother?"

"My mom was sick and -"

"I know that… But she had good days, right?"

People were passing by them as the sun began to set in the west. It colored the mid-spring sky golden-pink and purple.

"Yeah, but I was too busy with school and taking care of her."

They'd resumed their rambling stroll down the street. "I'm sorry Reid."

"It's okay. I missed out on a lot of things, but I'm okay with it." He walked with his head down and his eyes looking at the cracked cement of the sidewalk.

"I don't think its okay at all."

"If I'm okay you should be alright." He looked sideways at her out of his big dark eyes and a little shiver went down her back. "Are you cold?"

_Who says he never notices anything?_

"No, I'm fine."

They had arrived at his apartment just as the sun went down. The walk down the block had seemed longer than it really was.

"Do you want to come inside? I don't have a lot of food, but you should have something to eat. All the books say that you should have three meals a day with lots of fruits and vegetables so that the baby is healthy."

She grinned up at him. "You're going to be the food police for the next months, aren't you?"

"I just want the baby to be healthy and -"

"I know, but if you get annoying, I'll have Morgan kick your butt."

"Oh, don't do that!"

"Then don't push it mister."

"Are you coming up?"

"I can't. I need to get back."

"Oh…" He was crunching and kneading the plastic bag that held the book he'd bought.

"What's wrong?"

"Um…" He led her over to her car. "I w-wanted you to have this f-for the b-baby." He stammered, going scarlet to the roots of his wavy hair.

"Reid… I can't take this. You spent so much money on it."

"Please!"

She took the bag and opened it. The book inside was a very old copy of Treasure Island.

"Reid, this is wonderful!"

"I know it's a bit old for the baby, but I thought you could keep it."

She hugged him hard and this time he wrapped his arms around her till she let him go. Then she surprised him by kissing him on the cheek.

"Thank you. It's a wonderful gift."

"You're welcome."

"Well… I have to go Reid. But I wanted to ask you a question before I leave.

"What?"

"I want to tell the team that I'm pregnant. Should we tell them what we've been up to?"

"_No_, I'm not ready for Morgan's teasing yet." He answered promptly.

"They're going to quiz me about the father."

He was leaning against the car next to hers. "I know… You can tell them whatever you want. I just can't face it right now."

"Alright."

He opened her car door and she got inside. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah… So you'll call me when you get home."

"Reid, I'm an adult."

"Yeah, but I just want to make sure you're okay."

She couldn't keep from laughing. "You're so sweet."

"I'm just being practical. Twenty percent of all fatal car accidents happen within ten miles of home so -"

"Okay… You just leapt over sweet to creepy."

"Sorry…"

"It's fine." She let him shut the car door. "I'll call you when I get home. Just one ring though, check your Caller ID."

"Okay."


	19. Chapter 19

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter**_

_**A/n hey all... Thanks again for all your support of the story and your patience with my injury. I'm doing a little better. Here's is some humor after all the angst in the last few chapters.**_

Reid placed his messenger bag under his desk at the same time Morgan entered the bullpen. The clock on wall read seven minutes before nine and everyone was there except for Emily.

_Where is she?_

_Maybe she was sick. No that didn't make sense, Emily never got sick. Well, that wasn't entirely true now that she was pregnant. Was the morning sickness not over? _

He didn't know if it was. The last few weeks had been a distraction, what with him freaking out about being in the baby's life.

He ducked his head when he felt his cheeks getting red. He was going to be a father for God's sake, fathers didn't blush. His father hadn't blushed.

_How do you know? You're the one that admits you have great big gaping holes in your memory when it comes to your dad. _

That was very true. _Still, Hotch never blushes and he's a dad._

Reid opened a random file and waited till his face felt cool. It didn't appear that Morgan had noticed, so he risked looking up at his partner.

Morgan had his back to Reid. He was looking at the elevator. "Where's Emily?" He turned back to look at Reid. "She's never late."

"I don't know Morgan. I'm not her keeper." He stuck his face back into the file folder.

"I didn't say you were. But, you two seem pretty chummy lately. I just thought that you might know where she is."

"We're not chummy." Reid replied while keeping his eyes on the crime scene photos he was pretending to study.

"Yes you are. I've seen you huddled together at the back of the jet after a case."

"Playing chess isn't huddling." Reid said, daring to look up at Morgan who was leaning against his desk.

"You know what I mean. You talk to her all the time and you never talk to me anymore."

"Are you whining Morgan?"

"No I just think you're up to something."

Reid put his face back in the file. "We're not up to something."

Now look him in the eye and repeat that without stuttering!

"Hm… maybe I'll go talk to Garcia. She'll know if anything is going on."

Reid looked up under his eye lashes and watched Morgan head up to Garcia's office. The file slid out of his damp hands to the floor as a terrible thought hit him. _If anyone can figure out what's going on, it's Garcia. You should think of something to distract her._

_Yeah that would work. No one 'distracts,' Garcia for long. She's like blood hound when it comes to sniffing out secrets._

Unfortunately that was the truth. Damn… where was Emily? He looked at the clock and saw that only five minutes had passed. How was that possible?

_Well, it's not Monday so unless JJ or Hotch comes looking for us we don't have a case. _

His brain began to buzz again with all the terrible things that could have happened to Emily. _Maybe she's had a car accident. What if something happened to the baby? Oh God… What if she had a miscarriage? Miscarriages were most likely to happen in the first trimester, especially to women Emily's age. It was why the doctor was so careful. It was why she decided to wait until now to tell the team. _

Oh man, he'd forgotten that she was going to tell them all today. How could he have forgotten something as important as that?

_Maybe that's why she's not here. Maybe she chickened out and she's leaving._

He looked up at the clock and rubbed the palms of his hands on his cords. Another minute had passed. Why was the clock moving so slowly, or was it so fast? He really didn't know which one it was.

He'd just call her and then he'd know that she was okay. She wouldn't mind if he gave her a call. She'd have to understand that he was concerned for her. She'd understand and not kick his ass. She didn't mean it the night before when she told him not to call her every five minutes.

He pulled out his phone and dialed her number. The phone went right to voice mail. It never went right to voice mail. That had to mean that something was wrong. He slapped the phone shut and rushed up to the elevators.

---

Emily pulled her phone out of her bag as she got on the elevator. It was then that she noticed she'd neglected to turn it on. Well, it was Reid's fault that she'd turned it off. He'd called her three times the night before while she was trying to get ready for bed. He kept asking how she was feeling and how the baby was and it had nearly made her yell at him. Finally, she'd told him she'd turn off her phone if he called her just once more. He hadn't called back, but she'd turned it off put the phone back in her pocket and rode up the elevator with four other people. She had the car to herself once she reached the fourth floor. She shifted her ready bag, hoping that she wouldn't need it. She had news for the team and she didn't want to tell them in the middle of a case. First, she needed to talk to Hotch and give him a heads up and then…

The door opened to the sixth floor and there was Reid standing there looking like he was about to have an accident. He looked terrified.

"There you are." He said very loudly making Agent Anderson look up from his desk at them.

"Yeah… I'm here. I work here Reid." She smiled brightly at him. "Did you forget?"

Agent Anderson had gone back to his file. No one else was in the immediate area, so Emily grabbed Reid by the arm and yanked him around the corner.

"Have you lost your mind?"

"I thought you had an accident or something. You're late!"

She made a show at looking at her watch. "I'm three minutes late Reid. And anyway, it's none of your business."

"I was worried about you. Did you know that -?"

She pushed a hand over his mouth. "I don't want to hear it. There are eyes and ears all over this place. I don't want to have this discussion with you right now. Remember what I told you last night."

He nodded his head. She noticed that his eyes were huge and fearful. She suddenly wanted to kiss him instead of slapping him senseless. She yanked her hand away from his face and put it behind her back.

_Are you out of your mind Prentiss?_

"I'm going to go talk to Hotch and warn him that I'm telling the team today. If you want to change your mind about telling them all of it, speak up now."

He shook his head as though her hand was still over his mouth.

"I'm going to my desk. Wait here for a couple of minutes."

"Morgan thinks we're up to something." He said without thinking.

"What did he say?"

"Just that we're plotting. He doesn't like it that I play so much chess with you after cases."

"What did you tell him?"

"I didn't say anything. I told him we just play chess and talk."

"What did he say after that?"

"He went to talk to Garcia. He thinks she knows."

"Yeah, they're probably looking at us on the monitors right now." Her tone scared him as did her blazing dark eyes.

"I promised you I wouldn't say anything. I haven't," He insisted.

Her eyes softened a bit and the hammering his heart had been doing the last five minutes slowed down to crawl.

"I believe you."

"You do," He looked so relieved that she didn't have the heart to stay mad.

"Of course I do. I trust you more than anyone. I thought I'd made that clear."

"I know…"

"Then go back to your desk and pretend nothing's wrong. I'm going to go see Hotch."

He let her walk away from him. If anyone was watching on the cameras they'd gotten an eyeful that would be tough to explain away. He peeked around and then hurried into the men's room. Cameras were forbidden in there for privacy sake. He looked in the mirror and was relieved that he wasn't blushing for a change. He put his fingers to his mouth where her fingers had touched it. Her hands had smelled like vanilla and it had been very intoxicating. He'd agree to almost anything with that smell in his face.

_Pull yourself together! _

He nodded curtly at his reflection and remembered that Emily was about to go talk to Hotch. He better get back out to the bullpen before Morgan decided to wonder where he was. It was time to keep a low profile.

_Yep, that's you, Mr. Low Profile. Let's see if you can walk out that door and to your desk without tripping over your feet._

He proved to himself and his feet that he could walk to his desk without taking a header down the stairs. Morgan wasn't back to his desk yet so he let out the breath he'd been holding. He decided to be sensible and work till Emily finished with Hotch.

---

JJ was the first one to arrive in the conference room. There wasn't anything hot on her desk so she supposed that Hotch must have something important for them to deal with that morning.

Hotch, Emily and Morgan filed in followed by Rossi, Garcia and Reid brought up the rear. She looked at her boss and he shook his head.

"What's up Hotch?" Morgan asked as they all sat down around the table.

"Emily has something she wants to tell you all."

All their eyes trained on Emily. She looked over at Hotch and then her eyes flicked to Reid and back so fast that JJ wasn't sure she'd even seen it.

"I'm pregnant!" She said.

"I knew it." Garcia squealed as she jumped up. She hugged Emily hard till the older woman had to push her away.

"You're choking me Garcia."

"Sorry."

"You were right Mama! Emily's going to be a mommy." Morgan grinned at Emily.

"It's hard to keep a secret from this crew." Rossi said.

"True."

"Who's the father?" Morgan piped up and Garcia hit him on the shoulder.

"Morgan!" Hotch trained his scowl on the younger man.

"What?"

"This is personal for Emily and none of your business."

Morgan blinked in surprise and then turned to Emily. "Seriously… I didn't mean to imply that -"

"It's nothing. The father is a very wonderful man that will remain anonymous for now. I have my reasons."

"Okay."

"Just okay," Emily asked suspiciously.

"Yeah… I can wait to find out."

That annoucement made Reid's blood run cold. _You'll have to deal with it sooner or later. Yeah... later was better though._

"So when is the baby due?" JJ asked.

"October 15th." Emily said proudly.

Congratulations and hugs were the next order of business. JJ noticed that Reid had stepped back and was watching Emily from as far away as was possible.

Well, he had thought that touching her baby belly and feeling the baby kick was freaky, so he probably would keep away from Emily too. It was weird. He was the only person she knew that had no desire to feel the kick of a baby.

"Alright, we all have work on our desks so let's get to it." Hotch interrupted the celebration.

"I'm going to order pizza for lunch." Garcia said as they filed out of the conference room.

"You should get a salad for Emily." Reid said and went scarlet when they all looked at him.

"I'm just saying that pizza has a lot of fat. The mother needs to have lots of vitamins and minerals in her diet. The baby takes a lot of the nutrition from the mother so…" He trailed off at the looks on all their faces.

He was about to just tell them all that he was the baby's father when Morgan laughed and said. "Jeez… do we have to listen to a lecture from the professor here?"

He threw an arm around Reid. "Emily's not going to drop dead if she has a little pizza."

The others laughed and no one saw the look pass between Emily and Hotch. "Yeah… She doesn't need another diet Nazi." Garcia said. "I'm sure her doctor has already explained it all to her."

"Um… Yeah, I was just pointing out that …"

Morgan pulled him down to the bullpen and Emily followed them alternating between wanting to strangle him and wanting to hug him for his concern. Still, they were going to have to have another talk…


	20. Chapter 20

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

Sophia jumped up on the couch next to Emily. She sniffed at the white scrap book Emily was fiddling with in her lap. She had another picture to add to the book, but just sticking it in there didn't seem right. There was something missing…

Sophia meowed and batted her head against Emily's hand. "No… You had an extra treat when I got home."

The cat stared up at her. Emily stared back at the cat till Sophie blinked. "Yes… I win!" Emily shot her fist into the air.

Sophia hissed at her, and then jumped down off the couch and ran out of the room. "You don't scare me! Who else would feed you?" She yelled after the disappearing cat.

Now that she could give her full attention to the picture to be added to the album, her thoughts went back to the feeling that she was missing something.

_Because you didn't give everything you could have to your baby._

_It was years ago… I was a child!_

_That's no excuse, if you'd told your mother…_

A tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. She brushed it away with her fingers. It was just the hormonal changes in her body. It was making the memories she'd lived with for twenty years that much more intense. It would pass.

She picked up the album and opened it to the first page that contained the first ultrasound picture of her baby.

"It's going to be different this time little one. I'm going to take the best care of you that I can. You have a daddy that loves you and your grandmother… Well, it doesn't matter this time whether she likes you or not. You're gonna have the best mommy and daddy. You're going to have lots of great uncles, aunts and friends."

More tears fell onto the book and the plastic she'd put over the photo to protect it. They ran down the slippery material and onto the light grey carpet.

She didn't have any pictures of the tiny little boy she'd lost. But, she'd never forget the perfect little face and the dark curly hair that had surrounded it. They'd only given her a glimpse of the baby; they hadn't let her hold the baby. They said that it was better if she didn't. Her mother had said that it was better.

"_Mom… I want to hold him." _

_She'd been exhausted. Sweat had dotted her forehead and she could smell the blood that had accompanied the birth of her little boy. Underneath all of it was the smell of antiseptic that burned in her nose like acid. Nurses were attending to her as the doctor tried to talk to her over her mother's lecture. _

_Why couldn't her mother just hug her? She wanted her to hold onto her like she wanted to hold her dead baby. She wanted to cuddle him, and kiss him, and make up for all the neglect. But it was too late and it was her fault. _

"_You can't hold him Emily… He's gone." Her mother was saying and she could see that her mother was glad._

"_It's your fault…" Emily had screamed at her. "You're the reason my baby is dead. I hate you mom." _

"_Emily…." Her mother's eyes had gone shocked and angry. _

"_I hate you mother. I never want to see you again." _

_The nurse had come to her bedside at the order of the doctor. Her mother was crying, but her tears looked contrived to Emily, just like it did every time she'd seen her mother shed a tear. _

_The tearing pain she felt in her belly had subsided, but the pain in her heart would never leave and seeing the relief in her mother's eyes was too much. _

"_Get out of here. I don't want to see you." _

"_You will not speak to me that way!" _

_There was prick in her arm and she felt the rest of her pain eventually begin to fade away. "No… don't wanna sleep. Please don't make me go to sleep." Her speech was beginning to slur. Everything was looking gray and soft around her. Her mother's face got more, and more, dim with the passing seconds and then her eyes fluttered to sleep._

Emily opened her eyes and looked around at her condo. She was an adult now and this was her place. Her mother had hurt her and she had hurt herself for not coming out and telling her mom that she was pregnant. Perhaps she'd still have her boy if she hadn't lied and denied everything to her mother.

_It wasn't just your fault. Your mother wasn't exactly easy to talk to._

"I promise you'll always be able to talk to me." She promised the child within her.

----

A knock sounded at her door interrupting her thoughts and promises. _Who the hell is that at ten am on a Sunday morning? _

The most likely person was Reid. Her heart actually jumped at the thought of seeing him standing there in one of his sweater vests and his cords despite her annoyance at his overprotective ways.

"I know you're in there," A familiar voice said through the door. "I'm not leaving till you open the door." the voice sang in a surprisingly good soprano voice.

"Alright," Emily mumbled. She used a tissue to wipe away the rest of her tears before going to the door.

She looked through the peephole and saw Garcia standing there grinning like an idiot with something in her arms.

Emily sighed and opened the door. "What do you want?"

Garcia smiled even wider around the paper shopping bag in her arms. She slid around Emily into the condo and headed for the kitchen.

"Come right in," Sarcasm dripped from her voice, but it didn't faze Garcia who was pulling eggs, milk, cheese, green onions and a whole stack of other food from the bag.

"Hey Emily," She chirped as the older woman stood tapping her foot against the white tile of the floor.

"What are you doing here?" She repeated in case Garcia had gone deaf or something.

"My, aren't we cranky on this lovely Sunday morning. Is it hormones or -"

"I'm not cranky! "

"Right, so you're yelling just to hear the sound of your voice."

Garcia finished unpacking enough food for an army and began to open and close Emily's cabinet doors.

"No! I was busy." Emily looked pointedly at the album on the coffee table.

"Oh, scrap booking… Looks like fun, but you need something to eat for junior there."

She pushed a finger into Emily's belly which at twenty weeks, was beginning to get round.

Emily slapped Garcia's hand away and the blond laughed. "I thought so. I'll bet you just got up an hour ago and haven't eaten yet."

Emily looked down at the white pajama bottoms and the pink tank she was wearing. It was the first set of maternity clothes she bought. It paid to be comfortable in bed.

"I had a glass of orange juice and a blueberry muffin."

"That's not going to do it. You're eating for two now."

"You sound like Reid."

Garcia was cracking eggs into a glass bowl she'd found in the cupboard above the sink. She looked up at Emily and smiled. "Yeah… He's been seriously funny the last month. Talk about a food Nazi."

"It's driving me nuts."

"Here, cut up the green onions. I'm going to make you the best omelet you've had in your life."

Emily took the onions to the sink and gave them a quick rinse while Garcia began chopping some red, green and yellow peppers.

"So how are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine!"

"Really…"

"Yeah, I've finally got my appetite back now that I've stopped puking everyday."

"Well there's that!"

"Yeah… worshiping the porcelain God isn't my idea of fun."

"Where's your griddle."

Emily pointed at the cabinet next to the sink. Garcia found it and took it to the cutting board. She began transferring all the chopped and diced vegetables, olives and cheeses into separate bowls.

"Now… watch and learn."

Emily watched her friend put together omelets for them. It was nice to have a good friend there to talk to about her pregnancy. In truth, it was nice not to have Reid hovering over her.

When the omelets were plated, Emily poured out juice for both of them as she'd got rid of all the coffee so as not to be tempted to drink it while pregnant.

They went to the living room and the couch. "So this is the album you told me about." Garcia set her plate on the coffee table with her glass of apple juice. "There isn't much to it."

"That's what I like about you, your unflinching honesty."

"I'm just saying that we could jazz it up a bit. Have you thought of putting a picture of yourself and the baby's father in here for the baby?"

"No!" Emily picked up her fork and took a bite of the omelet. "This is really good. Where did you learn to make this?"

"My father taught me. Don't change the subject!"

"What subject?" She scooped up more egg, cheese and onion.

"Don't play dumb sweetie. I asked you if you intended to add pictures of you and daddy to the album for little baby Prentiss. You said no and I know you don't mean that."

"Garcia, back off. I don't want to talk about it." The damn tears were starting again.

"What's going on Emily?" She put her plate on the table and scooted over to hug Emily tight. "Did he run out on you? If he did, I'll find him with my babies and we'll get Morgan and Hotch to go knock some sense into him."

Emily laughed through the tears that were streaming down her face. Now that would be a sight to see, Morgan and Hotch after Reid. "No! He didn't run out on me. He's the best father a child could have."

"Then what's the _problem_?"

"I can't tell you Garcia. I promised I'd keep his identity a secret. He has his reasons."

"But you don't agree with those reasons."

"It's not for me to say."

Her phone picked that time to ring. She looked at the Caller ID and almost threw the phone away. Why did he pick this moment to call her?

"I'll be right back."

She hurried into the half bath just off the kitchen and shut the door. "Are you out of you mind." She hissed into the phone.

"Emily…" He squeaked.

"No, it's the Queen of England. Who did you expect?"

There was a very long silence. "Um… Are you mad at me?"

"No! Why would I be mad at you Reid? Garcia is here!"

"_Oh… Um, tell her I said hello. I just wanted to see if you were okay."_

"No, I'm not going to tell her you said hello." She shouted at him, despite Garcia in the next room. "I thought we agreed that you were going to back off and stop acting like an Italian mother!"

He got really quiet.

"Fine… If you're going to call me and then just sit there and not talk, I'm hanging up."

She slapped the phone shut and banged it down on the counter top. Maybe if she threatened to tell the rest of the team, he'd back off.

Tears started falling again and that just made it worse. She'd become a whiny, crybaby because of her damn hormones.

"It's not your fault, little one." She assured the baby. "Mama just needs to kick your daddy's ass and everything will be great."

She wiped at her eyes and pulled her hands through her hair. Maybe Garcia wouldn't notice that she'd been crying and it would be okay. She adjusted her tank top around the tiny baby bump and opened the door.

Garcia was standing there looking a bit stunned. "Why didn't you tell us that Reid's the father of your baby?"


	21. Chapter 21

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

_**A/n hey all... Thanks again for all your good wishes. Only two more weeks with the brace. Also, thanks to my wonderful beta for all her support and hard work in keeping my stories well edited.**_

Garcia was standing there with one hand on her hip. Her hair, which she had streaked with pink and pulled up onto a clip, seemed to bristle with disapproval at her friend.

She tapped one foot that was clad in low heeled red shoes. Her red framed glasses winked in the light and her loose red blouse crackled impatiently as she moved.

"I can't believe that you've been doing the nasty with our hot young genius and you didn't tell me!"

"I haven't been 'doing the nasty,' she made quotation marks with her fingers, "with Reid. Even if I was, it's none of your business! I can't believe you were eavesdropping on me!"

"I wasn't eavesdropping… I heard you yelling. I came to see what was wrong and heard you. It's your fault for not keeping it down."

"He wanted to keep it a secret for awhile." Emily said in defeat.

"So you _are_ sleeping with him." Garcia's hot pink skirt swirled around her legs as she turned to follow Emily back to the living room.

"I just said no… Can't you understand the words coming out of my mouth?"

Garcia settled back into the couch as though it were molded to fit around her body. She put her arm up over the back of the furniture and turned to face her friend, stood looking out the window.

"I understand that something is going on. If you talk about it you'll feel better."

"Oh don't hand me that," Emily whirled around. "Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut."

"Fine, then I'll help you clean up. Then I'll leave you to your thoughts."

The flamboyant technical analyst headed to the kitchen with Emily in tow. They cleaned up the kitchen in a silence that was so thick; it was like moving through pudding for Emily. She'd never been around Penelope and experienced an extended period of silence like this. It was very unnerving.

"Alright… You can stop with the silent treatment. It's not going to work.

"I'm not giving you the silent treatment. You said you didn't want to talk and I'm respecting that."

Emily heaved out a very loud sigh. "I'm going to talk to Hotch when we get to work tomorrow and convince him to give you the test for profiling."

"Why would I want to become a profiler? I like my bat cave."

"Cute!"

Emily began to load the dishwasher, only to be pushed aside by her friend. "I'll do that. You go sit down."

"I'm not fragile. I can load the dishwasher."

"Not on my watch you can't," Penelope ordered.

"Then I'll clean the griddle." Emily said.

They worked in more stuffy silence till Garcia finished with the dishwasher. "I'll see you on Monday."

"No! I don't want you to leave."

"Tell me what has been bothering you for months."

Emily put the griddle to one side of the sink where it would dry and faced her friend. "You have to promise that you won't tell anyone. This means Morgan or Kevin. No matter how much you want to tell them."

Garcia nodded and hung the dish rag over the faucet. "Tell me!"

"I can't believe I'm doing this. I made a promise to Reid."

"So he's the father," Garcia said, her eyes lighting up behind her glasses. Emily burst into another round of tears. "Hey, It's okay my beauty."

"No it's not… I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone."

"You didn't tell me. I deduced from your behavior. It's your fault for teaching me your profiler magic. I actually pay attention despite what you all think."

Emily laughed through her tears. "I never said that you don't pay attention. Obviously you do, that's why I'm in this situation."

"Did he break up with you? If he did, I can have Morgan kick his butt."

"No, it wasn't like that at all. We're not sleeping together and we never have."

"I don't know why not. He loves you and you love him. Wait…" Garcia held up a hand to stop Emily from denying it. "How did you get pregnant if you two haven't had sex?"

"There are other ways Garcia."

Garcia's eyes went round. "Oh, you had artificial insemination or something."

"Yeah… I did. Reid was my donor."

"Oh, so that whole thing a few months ago when we thought Reid was really sick and he said he was donating sperm. That was the truth!"

"Yeah… No one ever believes you when you tell the truth."

Garcia deflated on the couch in disbelief. "I guess he really does love you."

"Reid doesn't love me. He did this for me because we're very good friends. He cares about me like a friend and that's all."

"Me thinks thou doth protest too much."

The tears wanted to flow again so she bit the inside of her mouth to keep them back. "I'm not protesting. He doesn't love me like that."

Garcia threw her head back and laughed loudly. "Honey…" She managed when Emily glared at her. "You're supposed to be this great profiler and you can't see what is right in front of you. I know Reid and he's been pining for you every since Colorado."

"No he hasn't," Emily insisted and a part of her died at the thought. "Yes he has! He's probably one of the best actors I've ever met, not that I've met a lot, but you know what I mean. If he were on the big screen he'd win an Oscar by now. You can't tell me that you haven't been noticing him. I know you have. What happened in Colorado was very intense for all of us, but especially for you two."

"I know that but-"

Garcia held up a hand to Emily, who was at the window looking out over DC, again. "Reid did this for you because he loves you. Not because you're such good friends. You need to deal with that."

Emily lost the battle with her tears. Her shoulders hunched and her head dropped forward into Garcia when her friend came to her and put her arms around her. "Why don't you just tell him you love him and put both of you out of your misery?"

"I can't…"

"Why…"

"Because I don't want to hurt him."

"Why would you hurt him?"

"He's had so much disappointment in his life. I don't want to mess things up."

"You're not going to mess it up unless you don't tell him."

"I can't!"

"Emily…"

"No I can't say it right now. Please just go."

Emily faced the window till she heard the door shut behind her friend. It seemed like ever since she'd decided to go through with this crazy plan, her whole life had turned upside down.

Sophia, who'd been hiding for the last few hours, rubbed at Emily's ankle. She knelt down and picked up the cat in her arms. "Why did I listen to you? I shouldn't have let you and my mom gang up on me."

The cat stared at her with her large yellow eyes. She began to knead her claws into Emily's the shoulder strap of Emily's tank. "Ouch… What's the matter with you?"

She pulled the claws out of her tank and put the cat back on the floor. Sophia meowed and batted her front foot at Emily's leg.

"Alright, I guess it's time for your morning treat."

Sophia ran ahead of Emily into the kitchen, meowing loudly. "Oh stop being such a drama queen. I told you I'd get a treat for you."

She gave the cat two treats, which violated her pledge never to give into Sophia's pouting. "Don't expect this every morning." She warned the cat as she got water for her.

She went back to the living room and sat down at the couch again. The album was still there mocking her with its simplicity.

"I'm sorry I said I wished I'd never done this." She said, cupping her belly with her right hand. "I love you so much. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you.

I wish you could have met your brother. I'll bet you would've loved each other and become best friends."

Tears overwhelmed her and she sagged to the floor sobbing for the tiny little baby that hadn't been meant to be.

---

Reid was lying on his couch with a book in his hands. He looked at his phone. Emily had sounded so angry with him when he'd called. He was really trying to not be so annoying, but it wasn't working. He just wanted to make sure that Emily and the baby were okay.

He put the book on the table and looked at his phone. If he called her again, she might come after him with her gun. He should listen to what Morgan always says and not mess with her.

_She won't come after you with a gun. You're the father of her baby. She's not going to shoot the father of her baby. _

He wasn't so sure about that… What if he pissed her off so badly that she didn't care?

_Okay, no more meddling in the pregnancy. Emily knows what she has to do to be healthy. She wants this baby as badly as you do. _

Satisfied that he'd be able to resist the urge to lecture her, or interfere with the pregnancy, he went back to his book. That lasted for ten minutes, and then he put it down again, his concentration shot.

At least she'd let him come to another ultrasound. He picked up the picture that the doctor had printed out for him and he studied the image. He'd seen a lot of fetuses in photos on the internet. They had all looked like little aliens to him. This little baby with the memory of the strong and steady heartbeat was different. There weren't any distinct facial features, but he could imagine that the baby would look like Emily.

The doctor had asked them if they wanted to find out the sex of the baby. They had agreed before the appointment that they would wait to find out till the baby was born.

Now as he looked at the picture, he wondered if they had made the right decision. He wanted to know if he were going to have a girl or a boy.

He picked up the book he'd been reading and laid the picture of the baby over his heart. He began to read aloud the familiar fairy tales his mother had read to him when he was two years old. If he put down the book and closed his eyes he could recite them and pretend that the baby was right there with him.

Soon… He'd be holding his child in his arms and then maybe he could convince Emily how much he loved her.

_----_

An impatient knock at his door jerked Reid out of the light sleep he'd fallen into. He looked around in confusion then jumped in surprise when another knock came at the door.

"Who is it?" Reid called stumbling to the door.

"It's Garcia… I need to talk to!"

The angry tone in her voice had his head buzzing… Why was she angry at him?

He pushed back his hair back from his eyes and blinked at the door. She knocked again just as he was putting his hand of the door knob.

"Open up Reid!"

_Reid!_?

"Alright, I'm here." He opened the door to a furious Penelope Garcia.

She brushed past him and pushed his favorite book to the floor to sit on the threadbare couch.

"Hey!"

"Why didn't you tell me what you did with Emily?"

He swallowed hard and felt his face burning.

_Just keep a neutral face and think up a good lie!_

He put a big smile on his face and dared to look at her in the eye. "The last thing I did with Emily was beat her at a game of chess."

"Why are you lying to me sweet boy?"

Her hurt tone and disappointed eyes made him blurt out. "How did you know?"

"I visited Emily today. She told me. I don't understand why you didn't tell me. I thought I was your best friend."

He stepped over three other books on the brown carpet to sit down next to Garcia. "You _are _my best friend."

She reached over and took his hand. "Then why didn't you tell me. This is huge baby cakes."

"Um… I didn't want…" _Oh God this was going to be so hard. _

A look of understanding came into her eyes. "You didn't want Morgan to find out just yet."

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. My chocolate Adonis doesn't know when to stop sometimes. But, sweetheart, he's going to find out sooner or later…"

"I know… Can you just keep it a secret for a while longer?"

Yeah! And by the way, Emily didn't rat you out. I over heard her on the phone to you."

"Oh," he went red in the face again.

"Honey, I know you care about her and the baby. I can see it. But, you're driving her crazy."

"I just want them to be okay."

"Sure you do, just back off a bit." She patted his leg. "Now, let's go get something to eat. I'm sure you don't have anything here thats edible."

He opened his mouth to protest, and then shrugged. "No, there's nothing to eat here. I was going to call for pizza."

"No way… You're a father now. You have to stop eating like a kid."

She hauled him up off the couch. "We're going to a sit down restaurant. I'll forgive you for leaving me out of this, if you buy me Greek food."

"Okay!"


	22. Chapter 22

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

_**A/n here's the next chapter. The wrist continues to mend and I continue to count the days till this brace comes off. Thanks again for all your support. **_

Reid hurried into the conference room with his messenger bag over his shoulder and minus his usual giant cup of coffee. He was late and was going to have to come up with a believable excuse. That shouldn't be a problem.

_Yeah, because the last time you made up an excuse about why you were late, everyone bought it with no problem. _

_Okay, so telling everyone you went to the movies was a bad idea. _

"… Terry Clark was last seen two hours ago." JJ was saying as he dashed into the room.

"Hey kid, miss the ending to another movie."

"No Morgan, the traffic was bad."

"Not when I came through." Morgan probed with a grin.

"Not now Morgan," Hotch said, nailing the profiler with a scowl that could peel the bark off a tree.

"What's the matter with everyone today?"

"We have a missing child to worry about."

"I know that Hotch!"

"Continue JJ," Hotch said, giving Reid a look.

"We don't know much except that Mary Clark arrived to pick up her son from school an hour ago. He'd disappeared sometime between the last class and when she arrived. She told the Carterville police that she was late getting away from work."

"What do we know about Carterville?" Rossi asked Garcia.

"Carterville Idaho has a population of forty-seven hundred. Its located forty-five miles north-east of Boise. The largest employer in the area is a tree pulping plant that makes paper products. The town sits on an area spread over 16.4 square miles. It's ninety-six percent white with the remaining population a mixture of Asian, African American and Hispanic. There's one elementary school, one junior high-school and one high school.

"So we know the unsub is male and white." Emily said studying her file. "Sorry, I'll be right back." She stood and hurried out of the room."

"Don't miss that." JJ said.

"Have the police or the family received any ransom demands?" Rossi asked JJ.

"No, but this isn't the first time a child has gone missing from this area of the west."

She pointed her remote at the white board and brought up the picture of a smiling boy with dark eyes and hair that looked enough like Terry to make them all look at each other.

"Mike Savage went missing last year from Duncan Wyoming. His body was found a week later ten miles outside of Carterville. Clint Barry went missing from Trenton Utah and was found in Idaho near the same area of the woods. That was six months ago.

Both of the boys were sexually assaulted multiple times before they were killed. The bodies were found hidden in dense foliage, one by a hunter, and one by a hiker that had strayed off a path.

They were each strangled with a woman's nylon sock which he left in place around their throats." JJ clicked her remote and two photos appeared side by side on the white board.

"They were found face down on the ground." Reid said studying the pictures closely, "A sign of remorse?"

"Yeah…" Morgan agreed.

"The bodies were found two days after death. He takes time to hide them, but close enough to where they can be found. "Rossi observed.

"He's not worried about getting caught and he knows the area." Hotch said.

"The coroner's report said that the bodies are washed and the hair combed and the stocking replaced after he bathes them." JJ said.

"Remorse," Rossi said.

"Could be," Hotch said, "Or just good forensic counter measures."

"I' m not to sure about remorse. Look at how badly they were beaten and the rapes were brutal." Morgan said.

"We need more information." Rossi said.

"How is he getting around? Usually, people in a small town notice strangers." JJ asked.

"He knows how to blend in with the locals." Morgan theorized.

"He's mobile if he's hunting in small towns in two states." Reid put in.

"Garcia, check police reports for Utah, Wyoming and Idaho. See if there are any missing children that fit the description that were never found."

"Will do…" She left the room for her office in time to pass right by Emily who was hurrying back into the conference room. She also gave Reid a wink as she passed by him that he hoped no one had seen.

"Sorry Hotch," Emily puffed. "I hate popping up and down every five minutes.

"How do you ladies do it all the time, constantly running to the bathroom when you're pregnant?" Morgan wondered.

"Actually the frequency of urination increases because the volume of blood in a woman's body increases during pregnancy, which leads to a lot of extra fluid getting processed and ending up in your bladder. Also the uterus growing puts pressure on the bladder.

You can reduce your trips to the bathroom by reducing beverages that have diuretic effects like coffee, tea and alcohol. Also, a good tip is to lean forward when you urinate, as this helps completely empty the bladder."

Five pairs of eyes stared at Reid. Morgan lost his battle with laughter and nearly choked on the coffee he was drinking. Rossi was hiding his smile behind his hand while JJ giggled

"Wow, you don't have enough to do with this job, you have time to look up pregnancy facts." Morgan spluttered.

"Alright, stop it." Hotch brought them back to earth, "Wheels up in thirty minutes. We don't have days to find Terry, we only have hours."

They all sobered at this reminder and headed for their desks and their ready bags.

---

"I just got off the phone with Constable Blevins. He's finished talking to Mrs. Clark. She works at the paper plant along with a good portion of the town. She's on the seven to three shift so she can pick up her son after school. She got held up because a logging truck got stuck in the mud somehow. They had a really good rainstorm two days ago and things are still drying out."

"Must have been a big storm to bog down a logging truck. I thought those things could go through anything." Morgan said.

"You think there's more to it." JJ asked.

"Everything is important." Rossi said.

"Let's get back to Terry Clark. He's seven years old and in second grade. A neighbor of Mrs. Clark has a little boy the same age as Terry. She picks up Terry every morning for school." Hotch interrupted.

"Her son, David, is Terry's best friend. They're joined at the hip all the time according to Mrs. Clark." JJ said.

"So how did the unsub get a hold of Terry if David was hanging around." Emily asked.

"All three of the missing boys look like they could be brothers. If the same unsub is behind the kidnappings, we're looking for preferential offender. David must not fit his preferences or he might have escalated and taken both of them."

"Have the locals talked to David." Hotch asked.

"No… His father lives in Boise. He and the boy's mother divorced last year. He's a criminal attorney. Constable Blevins said the boy's father on his way to make sure we don't overstep our bounds."

"Great, just what we need, the father/attorney gumming up the works." Morgan complained.

"We'll work around it." Hotch said. "Reid when we get into town I want you and Emily working on the geographical profile."

Emily nodded and went back to her folder. "JJ you and I will talk to Terry's mother again. Dave, you and Morgan tag team the lawyer father and his son."

"Sounds like fun," Morgan said.

"If he's a preferential offender, and he's taking these children from small towns…" JJ began.

"It's not by chance." Reid finished for her. "The odds of finding a child that fits the parameters of his preference in smaller towns are pretty low."

"What, no exact figures." Rossi asked.

Reid blushed and Emily grinned at him. He was always trying to be more conversational with the team instead of just being who he was. It didn't bother her if he rambled on about odd things.

She went back to her folder, but found it hard to concentrate. The little boys were so small and fragile. One hand went to her belly. What if she had a little boy and he was out there somewhere alone and hurt, or worse, with someone like this unsub?

_At least you never had to worry about that when your little boy died._

Oh God, how could she have thought that? If only she'd had the chance to protect her son from the terrible realities of life, instead of losing him before he he'd had a chance to live.

She rubbed her hand over her belly and promised the baby that she'd do anything to see him or her safely into this life.

"You okay," JJ asked her with a smile.

"Yeah… I feel great." But it was a lie.

"I'm sort of jealous of you right now."

"Why?"

"Because you're pregnant. I loved being pregnant, especially at this stage." JJ gestured at Emily's baby bump with her free hand.

"Emily's about twenty-five weeks now. The baby is developing some fat. This will help the skin to smooth out and he'll look more like a baby now. Also, he is getting hair that is a recognizable color and texture although that can change by the time he's born. He or she measures about thirteen and a half inches from head to heel and the baby is about the size of a rutabaga."

Rossi choked on his coffee and Morgan began to laugh. "Man, you really do your homework my man."

"He told me why and how many times Henry was kicking me when I was pregnant. As I recall, you were very freaked out, feeling the baby kick." JJ teased Reid who was crimson faced. "Do we get to see any more ultrasound pictures?" JJ went on.

"I have an appointment next week."

"Good…"

"That reminds me," Hotch said with a slight smile at the conversation of his team. "This is Emily's last week in the field."

"Hotch, we never discussed-"

"You're a high risk pregnancy Emily. I know your doctor told you on your last visit that you can't fly after another month anyway."

"That's another month!"

"Do you really want to have this conversation now?"

"No!"

"There's nothing to discuss anyway… This is your last case! You can stay in the office and help us from there, but you're not going to fly after this week."

Emily slid her eyes over to Reid, who had his head buried in his file. Wonderful, where was a handy statistic about pregnancy that would work in her favor? She looked at the rest of the team, but no of them made eye contact except for Morgan and he just grinned at her.

"Fine, but I'm going to remember you all ditched me when I needed you to gang up on the boss for me."

"Oh… I'm scared!" Morgan said.

"You should be!"

"I'll run from Garcia and her computers before I let a pregnant FBI agent scare me." Morgan continued.

"Can we get back to the case?" Hotch interrupted the laughter.

"Right, back to the profile."

"We don't have one yet."

"That's why we have to work fast. We only have twenty-four hours."

The team went grim faced at the reminder of the average time a child survived after abduction.

"Then we better find something to work with." Rossi said.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**Warning: See my profile and the first chapter**_

_**A/n here is the next chapter. One more week with the brace! Yay....**_

Seven hours had passed since the jet had left DC. The borrowed SUVs from the locals sped up to the tiny parking area in front of the police station. The revolving red and blue lights washed over the front of the building as midnight struck. Ten hours had passed since Terry had disappeared.

Emily lifted her head from the window. She sat in the back seat next to JJ, who was studying her file folder. The other woman looked up and gave her a weak smile. Emily shifted in her seat, anxious to get out of the car and working on the case. Her neck hurt from falling asleep in one position, so she rotated it and heard the bones crackle as they popped.

"You okay?"

She looked over at JJ and saw something in her eyes that managed to mimic the pain in her heart that had taken root since she'd seen those three little boys.

"No," The tears she could hear in her voice dismayed her.

_Get it together!_

"This is so tough." JJ agreed.

She opened her door and stepped out. Emily climbed out after her and stretched. The headache that was threatening to split her head eased up just a little now that she could stand up. The smell of pine trees and fresh earth permeated the air around them. It smelled like summertime.

"I'm relating too much to the mother in this one." Emily said. "And I'm not a mother, at least not yet. What am I going to do when the baby gets here?"

"You're a mother from the moment of conception. That's what I believe. JJ said. "I think having Henry makes me more determined than ever to make this world a better place for him and all the children. You'll want to do the same thing." JJ hugged Emily around her shoulders.

"Then let's go bring Terry back to his mother."

They entered the police station with JJ in the lead. Constable Blevins greeted them in the middle of the bull pen. He had black hair that was buzz cut. His dark intense eyes looked them over more thoroughly than Emily's mom when she was in ambassador mode. He was very tall, and even more muscular than Morgan, who looked small by comparison.

"Hello…" He said in a soft voice that was in complete contradiction to his appearance. "Thank you for coming."

The four locals and Detective Sparrow from the state police all looked tired and frustrated. Still they welcomed the BAU with sincerity.

"I can't tell you how glad we are to have you here." Detective Sparrow said. He was smaller than Morgan, and his hair was streaked with gray, but his blue eyes were warm.

"Do we have a serial on our hands?" One of the locals asked.

"We can't label it till we go through the evidence."

"But that's what you think," the deputy insisted.

"This is one of my deputies, Connor Stanton." Blevins said, giving the younger man a steely look. "He thinks that since he's been on the force for six months that he knows it all."

Stanton was the same build and height as Hotch. His auburn hair highlighted his emerald green eyes. His face looked like God had had a very good day when he made it. His cocky stance and attitude made even the self-assured Morgan appear lacking in confidence.

"I don't think I know it all boss. I just don't think we need feds here that don't know anything about the area. We can find this kid without them. We've got the state police helping us and they know the area."

"Shut up!"

"Boss!"

"I said keep your mouth shut or you'll be on graveyard for the rest of your natural life."

Stanton backed down, but his green eyes sparked at all of them.

"Is there some place we can set up?" JJ asked into the tension filled silence.

"Yeah… We carved out a corner for you." He gestured to the southeast corner of the room that had one desk, a computer and a white board set up on one wall.

"I'm sorry it can't be bigger or more private."

"It's fine…" Hotch told him.

They passed through the bullpen to the corner designated for them. The other officers went back to their desks while Reid began to set up the crime scene photos. Rossi and Morgan set out with one of the state police as an escort to talk to Mrs. Clark, despite the hour.

Hotch and JJ left to speak with the Bishop family. Emily headed for the bathroom, leaving Reid to look at the geography of the dump sites. The small bathroom had two stalls and a unisex sign over the door as there was one female cop on the force.

She looked in the mirror while washing her hands after emptying her taxed bladder. The shadows that were beginning to collect around her eyes were getting to be as deep and dark as the shadows that lived under Reid's eyes.

_It looked good on him_, she thought, _it doesn't look good on me_. Her back was aching and her feet were so tired. Maybe Hotch was right to tell her that she needed to stay out of the field.

She splashed water on her face, but the cool liquid did little to perk up her spirits. The headache that had succeeded in pushing to the surface throbbed and pounded like she had a rock group rehearsing in her head.

The paper towels were scratchy on her face as she wiped off the water. It was going to be a long night unless they could find something that would lead them to the boy fast.

She left the bathroom and walked right into Deputy Stanton. "Well hello there Special Agent Prentiss." He said.

"Can I help you with something?"

"There are many things you could do for me beautiful, but we're on the clock."

She laughed because it was late and this wasn't happening. "You don't want to go there with me."

"Why not… Just because we're working together don't mean you can't leave me with your number."

"I'm pregnant!"

"That don't matter to me baby… I like pregnant women, it's very sexy."

He was right in her face and had put his hand on her shoulder where it met her neck.

"Step back _deputy_, I've got a child to find. If you can't help, maybe I should talk to the Constable."

Instead of stepping away from her, he leaned in to her face, his minty breath exploded in her nose. "Are you married Emily Prentiss?"

"I said step back now!"

He backed off but the cocky smile that lit up his eyes never wavered for a minute. "I like a strong independent woman. If your man got you pregnant and ran out on you, I could have a talk with him."

Emily laughed and surprisingly her headache began to back off from miserable to a nuisance. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I?"

"No… now get out of my way or I'll kick your balls so far into your throat you'll be singing Soprano in the shower."

He turned to let her by, but his smile didn't falter. "Yeah, I like em feisty!"

Emily ignored him and headed back to the corner where Reid was setting up their case file. The strong sudden urge to grab hold of him and cry was so strong that she veered off and went outside into the night air. The smell of pine that she'd noticed getting out of the car washed away the smell of bad cologne and bleach from the bathroom.

"Get a grip and get back in there." She commanded herself as the stars twinkled in the sky.

She's never seen so many stars. She should come back with Reid one day and they could watch the stars together and have a peaceful night just talking about anything under the sun from all the books they'd both read.

_Wait… Why are you thinking about a holiday in the woods with Reid? _

_Go back to work!_

She went back into the police station and walked right past Deputy Stanton to the corner where Reid was working.

"Hey… Did you figure anything out yet?" She asked him very quietly.

He jumped in surprise and then went red. "Um… no, but I'm sure it's right in front of me."

"Have you heard from Garcia yet?"

"No…"

"Oh… I'll just go over the reports from Utah and Wyoming. Maybe we'll find something there."

---

Reid watched Emily out of the corner of his eye while trying to concentrate on the geographic profile he was tying to put together. He frowned at the data in front of him. There was something missing. He needed more data to complete the picture and the only way to get it was for them to fail in finding Terry.

His heart climbed into his throat at that thought. His hands got sweaty at the thought that this wasn't just a little boy they were trying to find. It was different now that he was going to be a father. For the first time he felt utter terror at failure.

He looked over at Emily again. She looked different to him somehow. He cocked his head and tried to understand what he was seeing. She had dark circles under her eyes, but he'd seen her tired before, there was something else that he couldn't put his finger on.

Then he saw a tear leaking out of her eye. Oh God, what was he supposed to do now? Should he say anything, or would calling attention to the problem make her mad? Girls didn't like it when you pointed out that they looked terrible, right?

He decided to go back to his white board and pretend nothing was happening. It was probably her hormones anyway. He knew they were probably playing havoc with her emotions right then.

_Remember how JJ's mood swings made everyone crazy!_

His hands began to shake at the thought. He should have remembered that when he agreed to Emily's plan. How had it slipped his mind?

He looked back at her again and saw that more tears were making their way down her face. He'd never get anything done until he talked to her. He went over to the desk and perched on the end as he'd seen Morgan do in Garcia's office.

"Hey Emily… Um, is everything okay?"

_Please say yes! _

"What… Oh Reid, yeah, I'm fine." She smiled up at him while wiping at her eyes.

"Um, okay," He got back to his feet and turned back to the white board. _She said she was okay, so that must mean she is. _

"So how's the geographical profile coming?"

"I need more data."

He went back to the board and jumped from shock when she said angrily. "What? So you're saying that Terry has to die for your precious profile."

He looked at her again and shrank back from her red and angry face. He could almost feel the heat coming off her body and it scared the hell out of him.

"No! Of course not… I didn't mean that."

"Sure you did… The life of one boy doesn't matter to you as long as we have enough information to track down the unsub."

She stalked away from him toward the door of the station. Every cop in the room had their head down as Reid rushed past them to follow her, except for Deputy Stanton who was looking at Reid like he was a new species of ant.

"Having trouble with the lovely Agent Prentiss," He hissed at Reid.

Reid ignored him and rushed out the door into the darkness after Emily. She stood at the edge of the sidewalk with her arms crossed over her chest. She was staring at the sky.

"Emily…"

"Go away Reid!"

He stood still.

"Please go away!"

He stepped back.

She turned around and then she was hugging him. "Emily…"

"We have to find that little boy."

"I know…"

"Promise me you'll find him."

"We'll find him." She was crying again.

In desperation to stop the flood of tears, he put a shaking and awkward arm around her. She grabbed him in a tight embrace and every thought in his brain shut down when her lips met his.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hey all thanks for your kind reviews. Here is the next chapter.**_

His brain shut down, but only for a couple of minutes. Something nudged him in the stomach and he jumped back from her soft body and her warm lips.

"What was that?"

"What?" She reached for him and pulled him close.

There was another tiny little bump on his stomach. "Oh my _God_," He said softly.

"The baby moved," Tears were falling, but this time she looked so happy.

"Oh wow… Um, what's it like?" He asked her.

"Like nothing I ever felt before. I… ah I felt little flutters moving around in my stomach, but nothing this strong till now." Something shadowed her eyes and instinctively he knew that something more was happening and that she lied to him.

"Emily…"

"I can't believe it… It's like it's really happening now."

The shadow was gone and he wondered if he had imagined it.

"Are you freaked out?" Emily said, putting her hand on her belly

"No… Why would I be freaked out?" He asked. "May I…" He gestured to her stomach.

She took his hand and put it on one side of her stomach. There was another very small movement under his fingers. Warmth spread from the tips of his fingers that were in contact with her stomach, all the way up his arm and to his head. His heart stuttered and his brain went weird again.

"It's wonderful!" He breathed. "I can't believe I'm feeling our baby move. It's like a dream come true, thank you Emily."

"Why are you thanking me?" She said in astonishment.

"For giving me the opportunity to be a father," He said.

"Reid I -"

"You're making it possible for me to be what my father wasn't. I'm always going to be there for my baby. I promise you that."

"I know you will. I never doubted that for one minute."

They stood looking at each other for several long minutes till the ringing of a phone inside the police station reminded him of what they were supposed to be doing.

"Oh God… Here we are talking and -"

"Yeah," She looked like she had come out of a dream.

"I'm so sorry Reid!"

"Why?"

"I just kissed you and we're supposed to be working and -"

"It's okay."

"No… I mean I - I have to just tell you. I love you Reid."

His face got hot and he looked around to see if anyone had come out of the precinct. They were alone there in the darkness with the stars and the full moon above them spilling its white light over them. It should have been romantic but there was only pain in his heart. She didn't mean it and he knew it.

"You don't mean that Emily. It's your hormones. A woman's hormones during pregnancy fluctuate very wildly and -"

Her face crumpled under his tone. She began to cry again. "Emily…"

"No. We need to get back to work." She whispered.

Then she left him standing there kicking himself for always saying what came to his head without censoring it. When was he going to learn to think before he spoke? He kicked at the door as he went back into the building.

---

Emily rotated the muscles of her neck again. Her back was beginning to throb and her head felt like it was going to split open.

Hotch and the others had finally returned from their interviews. Now she stood in the little police station watching Hotch give the profile they'd managed to piece together.

"We're looking for a white male in his late twenties to early thirties. He's a preferential offender that has no trouble blending into small towns. The fact that he hunts in small towns and not in larger cities could mean that he grew up in a small town. It may also mean that feels comfortable in smaller area."

"The lack of forensic evidence at the scene suggests that he's familiar with forensics or he watches television. Either way, it's a very effective counter measure against capture." Morgan added.

"The positioning of the bodies face down is very telling." Reid went on with his hands stabbing the air in counter point to his voice. "He cleans them and leaves them face down. Besides the benefit of counter measures, it could be a sign of remorse. Also, it could be an insult to the body, turning the child face down shows certain contempt for his family. There is much confusion in the positioning of the body. He doesn't want to be caught, but he's making his own signature this way. And the stocking around the throat is a signature as well. It also allows him to control the rate of suffocation, prolonging the moment."

"He hasn't contacted the media because he has contact with the bodies or at least the area where the boys were found. This tells us that he's local to this area. He has a job that allows him time away to stalk his victims in other areas. Still, he has limited time for his activities which might account for the six month spread between victims."

"You should be looking at anyone in town that leaves on a regular schedule every six months and spends much of that time out of touch. Any traveling salesman or migratory workers are good candidates." Rossi said.

The five deputies and the state police went back to work with the new information. Constable Blevins stopped Hotch as he was heading back to their corner desk.

"All of my men are working this case. No one is sleeping until we get this guy."

Hotch gave him a slight, but grim smile. "We'll do the same."

"We're running out of time…" The Constable posed as a fact and not a question.

"We know from the time the boys disappeared and the time they were found was two days. The coroner's report says that the TOD is twenty-four hours after they go missing."

"What does he do with them for the other twenty-four hours?"

"We don't know."

---

Deputy Stanton stepped out of the hallway to the rest room. He blocked Reid on his way back to trying to do something with the geographical profile.

"So… having trouble with Emily Prentiss," He said with a smirk that was as cold as the artic wind.

"Excuse me!"

"I thought you should know that I heard your conversation with the lovely Agent Prentiss. You two should be more careful."

Reid's heart began to thump, but he kept his face as calm as he could. "I don't know what you think you heard -"

"I understand my man." Reid was stunned when the taller man slung an arm around his shoulder as though they were suddenly best friends. "Agent Prentiss is hot!"

Reid didn't speak. It was his experience that bullies often turned to more interesting prey if you ignored them. Not getting a reaction often made them mad or bored.

"Dr. Reid, I'm a bit disappointed in you. I thought you'd be one that would brag about getting into her pants."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yeah, I mean you're not exactly Agent Morgan. I'm sure he can get any woman he wants into his bed. You're just the token FBI nerd."

Reid let a laugh leave his mouth. Deputy Stanton's eyebrows went up and his green eyes quit twinkling.

"What's so funny Dr. Reid?"

"I've known bullies like you my whole life. I know exactly how to deal with you."

"Oh really, and what is that?"

"I'll just walk away."

"Then you're more stupid than I thought."

The icy tone of the deputy had Reid turning back to look at him. "Really… How?" He squeaked and immediately cursed himself for the implied weakness.

"You should be worried about your lovely lady and your baby. You never know when a word in the wrong ear…" His eyes went over Reid's shoulder.

Reid turned around and saw that the deputy was looking at Hotch, who was talking to Morgan and Rossi. Reid schooled his face into appropriately fearful lines and turned back to the deputy.

"You're right… We should be more careful."

"I knew you'd see it my way. I'm sure that you wouldn't mind sharing in your good fortune."

Reid's stomach turned over. "I'm surprised that you -"

"Reid! What are you doing man?" Morgan's voice wove through the room to them. He'd never been so relieved to hear his friend's voice in his life.

"Sorry, I was just -"

"We were just discussing the profile. Your Dr Reid has some wonderful insight into this man. I'm sure we'll find the little boy very soon."

Deputy Stanton went back to his desk leaving Reid to stare after him. "Hey… we have a little boy to find." Morgan said clapping him on the back with one hand.

"I know… I'll be right back."

He ignored Morgan calling after him. He left the station and climbed into a vacant SUV that had been left unlocked. He pulled out his phone and dialed a familiar number.

"You've reached the pinnacle of all things cyber. Speak and be recognized."

"Garcia…"

"Hey there sweet cheeks. What can I do for you?"

"Um… I need you to look into someone and get back to me personally."


	25. Chapter 25

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see the first chapter and my profile**_

_**A/n hey all, thank you all again for your kind reviews and your pms expressing concern for the crippled girl. Only two more days with the brace. Yes, I'm counting the hours! **_

Reid hurried back to the police station. Deputy Stanton was hunched over his desk. Reid let out a small sigh of relief to see that the man was ignoring him. He joined the rest of his team. Morgan looked up and opened his mouth, but Hotch beat him to it.

"Is there something wrong, Reid?"

"Yeah… But, I can't talk about it here."

"Reid!"

"We need to find Terry," Reid said firmly. "I'll tell you about it later Hotch."

"Reid!"

"Please Hotch, just trust me on this."

The others looked at Hotch. Emily was staring at Reid, but he pretended not to notice her attempting to get his attention.

"Alright…" Hotch conceded, but his eyes told Reid that he was going to have to come clean, sooner rather than later.

"But Hotch -" Morgan began.

"I'll talk to him later."

The rest of the team was staring at Reid. He was pink in the cheeks and focused on the whiteboard and Terry Clark.

"We've got some interesting news from Mr. Gibson and David Gibson." Rossi began into the deafening silence among the agents at Hotch and Reid's confrontation.

"We need to have a chat with Constable Blevins."

"You don't think he had anything to do with this." JJ said with some disbelief.

"No… Four days ago, he and two of his deputies went to Terry's school for a Safety Fair. It's a yearly event and all of the students look forward to it."

"So what does that have to do with Terry?" Morgan asked.

"We talked to Mrs. Bishop, David's mother. Apparently the boy said that a police officer talked to him earlier today. He was playing with Terry when the deputy approached them. He took David off to one side of the playground and asked him if he'd been paying attention in the Safety Fair. He quizzed the boy for several minutes. When David went back to play with Terry he was gone."

"We need to talk to Constable Blevins," Hotch said.

---

"I don't see what the Safety Fair has to do with this." Constable Blevins said.

Hotch had set up a makeshift interrogation room in the break room. He took a metal chair across the floor to the scratched wooden table in the middle of the room. A coffee maker was spitting in the corner, pushing fragrant odor into the air.

"You took two of your deputies with you. Is that usual procedure?"

"Yes, it allows the kids to have more personal contact with the police and trust them. That's the whole point."

Blevins pulled down his tie and glanced out the window to the sky which was beginning to go gray with the coming morning. It was nearly six am. Terry had been missing for fifteen hours.

"I'm not accusing you of anything Constable. I'm just trying to understand your program."

The Constable just stared at Hotch with eyes that said he'd been in this position and wouldn't be manipulated by the FBI.

"Then you'll understand that I'm the head of a police force of ten cops. I have limited funds and I'm constantly short on help. I'm fighting with the town council every year for more help and money. The Mayor is constantly looking over my shoulder, and now I've got a missing boy and you want to talk to me instead of looking for the boy." He stood up and started to leave the room. "I think we're done here!"

---

Morgan picked up his phone when it buzzed. "Hey mama… What have you got for us?"

"_Nothing gorgeous, absolutely nothing," _came a disappointed and chagrined voice_._

"I'm surprised baby girl… I've never heard you actually say you've got nothing."

"_Don't rub it in. I'm losing my confidence here." _

"Why don't you tell me what you didn't find?"

"_Okay… I looked into disappearances of boys with Terry's description in the area Hotch gave me. I didn't find anything but the three boys we already knew about." _

"But you did find other victims?" He said confidently.

"_No! That's the problem." _

"Okay, it helps to know that we're not dealing with a total psycho!"

"_It would've helped to find like crimes. You guys don't have any evidence." _

Morgan smiled at the pout in his baby girl's voice. "You make me warm when you pout like that."

"_Down my chocolate Adonis."_

Morgan laughed and felt some of the extreme stress of the case drop away from his shoulders.

"That's why I love talking to you. You make me feel like the world isn't going to implode if I don't fix it."

"_Aw… That's so sweet gorgeous." _

"Listen I have another name I need you to check into."

---

"Please sit down Constable. I'm not trying to ignore venues of this investigation. I have a case with absolutely no physical evidence to go on. The possibility that a law enforcement officer is just one of the avenues we're exploring right now. We didn't mention this to your officers or the state police because right now, we're just talking."

Constable Blevins deflated in his chair. "Alright I'll tell you everything I know about my deputies."

"What can you tell us about Deputy Hanks?"

"He's been with the force for ten years. He grew up here. His father was the Constable here for twenty years until he was killed in a domestic dispute seven years ago. He's a good man and a better officer."

"Why would he single out one of the kids?"

"I don't know!" The Constable was tapping his fingers hard on the wooden table.

"You can smoke if you want," Hotch said.

Blevins shook his head. "I'm trying to quit. The wife is on my ass if she smells even a hint of smoke on my clothes."

"My mother tried four times to quit smoking before she succeeded."

"Really," Blevins said disinterestedly. "Look, can we get on with this. Time's wastin' and we need to find this kid."

"What about Deputy McMartin. He's the other officer you took with you to the school, right?"

"Yeah, but you're barkin' up the wrong tree on that one too. He's as straight an arrow as they come. He's married, has three kids. He goes to church every Sunday and he coaches little league."

"It's been my experience that the most innocent looking people can hide some of the darkest secrets."

"That may be Agent Hotchner, but I'd stake my reputation on McMartin."

"What about Hanks?"

Blevins chewed on one of his finger nails. "I trust him."

"I want my team to talk to Hanks and McMartin. For now it's better if we don't tell the rest of the squad our suspicions about police involvement." Hotch said.

"My guys will cooperate no matter what." Blevins said. "They're standup guys that keep their egos out of the job."

"What about Deputy Stanton?"

"He's not from around here."

"Really," Hotch raised an eyebrow."

"No! I'm getting tired of your tone Agent Hotchner. Stanton is a good cop."

Hotch stayed at the table after letting Constable Blevins get back to the investigation. Rossi came in ten minutes later. "We've got a problem. Deputy Hanks has gone rabbit. He was here two hours ago, but now he's gone."

---

"Office of supreme omniscience, what do you want?" Garcia asked way too happily for it being five am on the west coast.

"Garcia, I need an address on Deputy Walter Hanks."

"No problem sir. Clock me!" He smiled at the sound of her fingers clacking on the keys. Garcia always knew how to bring sunlight to a situation that was bleak and dark.

----

"We should be looking for the kidnapper." Blevins shouted.

"Shut up and sit down." Rossi snapped. "You don't think it's strange that your man, who talked to the friend of the victim at the time he disappeared, is strange?"

"Yeah…. It's strange but, I know he couldn't have been involved in all of this."

"You can't be sure of that."

"Yes I can… His father and I were friends for most of our lives. We married sisters for Christ sake. I watched that kid grow up. I would have known if he…"

"If he what?"

"Nothing, I'm tired and I'm not thinking clearly. I won't disrespect his father's memory by accusing his son of a crime."

"Does Hanks have any family in the area? Is there any place he might go if he felt threatened?" Morgan asked.

"No… The only place is his father's home five miles down the road from here."

Hotch entered the break room just at that minute with a scowl that would peel the flesh off the bones of anyone that got in his way.

"Garcia came through with an address for Deputy Hanks."

---

"I need you to stay here and keep working on the victimology and timeline. It we don't find Hanks at home, we're going to need as much information as we can to find who's working with him."

"Reid can do that," Emily argued.

"You're not going on this raid Emily!"

"You're just saying that because I'm pregnant. I can handle it Hotch. I'll stay in the back."

Reid opened his mouth, but Hotch stopped him with a cold hard look. "No! I need you here. Call Garcia and find out if she's tracked down any hiding place or other properties for Hanks. If he's working with a partner, we need to find where they're hiding and fast."

She watched the others don their vests. Hotch was right. Hers wouldn't fit and the baby would be in danger if she didn't stay away from the action. Still, if it were her baby in danger…

Reid was the last one to leave the building. He turned around and looked back at her. A weird feeling of sorrow, like this was going to be the last time she'd see him rushed through her setting a chill that went deep into her bones. Then he gave her a small smile and a tiny wave before they were gone into the early morning light.

---

"_So how are you and Reid getting along?" _Garcia asked when Emily answered the phone at the desk.

"We're working Garcia. Can't we talk about this later?"

"_When are you going to tell the rest of the class so I can make you presents?"_

"I don't know!"

"_Not a good answer my friend. Not a good answer at all." _

"Did you find anything?" Emily attempted to change the subject

"_You guys are always so impatient." _

"No need to sound so critical. We've got a little boy to find."

"_I know. I'm so frustrated by all of the evidence that we're not finding. These guys are smart and you know how I hate it when they're smart." _

Emily smiled despite the seriousness of the situation. Garcia hated to be thwarted in her searches.

"I'm sure you'll find something."

"_There's no need to patronize me to try and make me feel better." _The tech goddess said bitterly.

"Are we done? I need to get back to work."

"_Yeah… go back to your profiling. Tell the baby I said hello." _

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"_You'll find someway." _With a click Garcia had hung up on her_. _

Emily laughed and put a hand on her belly. "That was your Aunt Penelope. You'll get used to her. She's a bit strange, but she loves you and your daddy very much."

_Like I love him!_

_Stop it! _

She bent her head over the file and began to sort out the profiles on each of the boys. There was nothing that they had in common except for a very specific physical type.

"Hello Agent Prentiss." Emily looked up and groaned at the sight of Deputy Stanton in front of her.

"Can I help you?" She tried very hard to be polite.

"Yeah… I just got a call from Deputy Hanks. He wants to talk. He said he knows where the kidnapper has Terry Clark."

The blood began to push through her heart making it pound with excitement. If the deputy was serious and not playing around…

_Why would he play around? _

"Have you told the Constable?'

"No… Hanks wants to talk to you. He doesn't want the feds or the state cops there He wants me to bring you to a place in the woods where he used to play as a child. There's an old shack leftover from the days of the fur trade."

She shouldn't go or trust this deputy. There was something niggling at the back of her head that warned against it, but the desire to find this child and get him back to his mother was so strong.

The echo of her mother telling her as a teenager that she wasn't ready to be a mother. That the baby dying had been a sign that things weren't meant to be had pulled something deep in her heart that hurt so badly she wanted to die.

"_You're too young. It was better that this happened." _

"_No mother… You're just happy because I won't be embarrassing you with a baby in Paris next spring."_

"_You should've listened to me and your father and stayed away from that boy." _

_Emily buried her face into the bed spread. All of the fancy clothes and the new car her mother had bought her two days after her baby had died didn't make up for the loss. It was her fault the baby was gone. _

"_Go away mother. I hate you!" _

"_You're overwrought. I'm going to send you to see Dr. Shelly. She'll help you see that. -" _

"_I'm not going back to her mother. She'll just tell me how all of this was my fault!"_

"_You will do as I say Emily Elizabeth Prentiss." _

"Hey Prentiss… Are you with me?"

He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and a big smile on his face. He winked, when she looked up at him. Even with the shadows under her eyes, she was beautiful.

Emily made a decision and stood. "Yeah I'm with you."


	26. Chapter 26

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter. **_

_**A/n the brace is history boys and girls. I'll do my happy dance later. Thanks to you all for your support and your kind good wishes. Enjoy!**_

Reid sat in the back seat of the Explorer they had borrowed for this raid. Hotch drove with Rossi in the passenger seat next to him. Morgan was next to Reid and very quiet. Reid could hear the quiet way Rossi and Hotch spoke about Deputy Hanks, and what they might find at his residence. The vehicle in front of their Explorer held Constable Blevins and Deputy Arlington. The Constable had insisted on being the one to bring in Deputy Hanks, if they found what they were looking for.

The state police were backing them up from a distance despite their irritation at a fellow officer being accused of the crime. They wouldn't help unless Hotch called them in. They were traveling without sirens so as not to scare off the deputy.

Reid looked out the window at the golden light that was coming up over the trees to the east. This early in the morning, it was always possible for things to turn out well. There was the possibility that they'd find Terry. Statistics kept running around in his head, though, and he was at a loss to make them go away. The child had been missing for fifteen hours. His time was getting short.

He concentrated hard on the pine trees. Maybe the green-black color and the golden sunlight that slid between the boughs and the trunks could chase out the thoughts of what would happen if they failed. It couldn't be like that little child they'd lost in Arizona.

_What would Emily do if they didn't find Terry in time?_

_It doesn't matter… Concentrate on your job!_

It did matter because she wasn't there. He stayed behind from raids and knew the stress of waiting for teammates to return from an arrest. How must it be affecting her?

He rubbed the knuckles of his right hand over his jaw. An FBI agent shouldn't be afraid, but he was fearful every time he had to pull his gun and back up his team.

Still, it was an adrenaline rush. He liked helping others. If he could make sure that just one more person was taken off the streets, or out of a small town like this, he would be happy.

The trees rushed by. Sunlight shifted between them and alternately plunged him into the blinding light of the sun and into the shade of the new day. The abrupt changes in the quality of light were disorienting. It was good that Hotch was at the wheel, as the flashes of light would have distracted Reid.

The bumps in the road jostled him so that his file folder fell on floor. Some of the pictures from the other two crime scenes scattered over the floor of the SUV as though a giant had been shuffling playing cards and had dropped them.

He picked them up and returned them to his folder. The faces of the two little boys were forever stamped on his memory as though someone had branded it into his brain with a fiery hot iron.

The Explorer bounced over two more potholes in the black top and more sunlight blinded him as they moved with haste, but not total recklessness. The five miles between the station house and the Hanks residence was a like the distance between ignorance and true wisdom.

The truck turned left and they sped down a long side road that was empty of homes. Reid noticed there was a sign up from Starlight Realty proclaiming that the land was for sale for the newest in luxury homes. The lane was one mile long before it ended in front of a chain link fence. The home behind the fence was neat and compact. There was only one floor and the bricks that made the walls were red-grey with flecks of pure white in a strange mosaic pattern.

The drive was unpaved and pitted with more potholes than the black top road. The vehicles pulled up to the concrete porch and steps. Constable Blevins was out of the car Deputy Arlington was driving before it came to a stop. He was up the steps at the same time Hotch and Rossi got out of the SUV. Mud squelched under Reid's feet from the storm that had put two inches of rain down two days ago. The smell of earth and green grass made it seem more spring-like than early summer.

Hotch and Rossi climbed the steps to the front porch with Blevins. Arlington followed Reid and Morgan who were jogging around the side of the house to the back door. Arlington looked back at Reid and Morgan as she climbed the stairs to the back porch door. The expression on her face was unreadable. She was very short with strawberry blond curly hair pulled back in a ponytail under her light brown hat. Her eyes were light blue and huge making her look like a baby bird. She flicked open the strap over her gun as she climbed the steps.

Constable Blevins pounded on the door as the sun finally pulled up out of the mountains instead of playing hide and seek.

"Charlie… Open up boy!"

There was no answer to their knock.

"Charlie… Open the door. Don't make this harder on yourself."

He turned back to Hotch who was at his side with his service piece pointed at the ground. Hotch gave him a look and the Constable moved aside.

"Deputy Hanks… It's Special Agent Hotchner. We just want to talk to you."

The state police had pulled up behind them. They'd agreed to stay in their vehicles until they were needed. An ambulance was down the road in case they found the boy and he needed attention.

Hotch and Rossi looked at each other when no one came to the door. Hanks could be destroying evidence. He could be innocent and afraid. They had to do this right. Constable Blevins tried the door and opened it just as Hotch said, "Blevins, _wait_!" A deafening blast threw the big man off his feet. Hotch and Rossi were knocked away from the door by the man's body.

Hotch stayed down with the wind knocked out of him. Rossi rolled over, shook his head and reached for his radio. He shouted into the microphone, "Morgan, Reid, don't touch the door. They're booby trapped!"

He staggered to his feet and put his back to the open doorway. A .44 Magnum handgun stood mounted at chest height to a wooden chair just inside the door. His ears were ringing from the blast and that made it impossible to hear if anyone was in the house. The room was that tepid gray in the morning when the blinds are pulled over the windows, blocking most of the light. He peered around the door, trying to see everything at once. There didn't appear to be anyone there.

A sound from behind him made him whirl around with his heart pounding. The sound was returning to his ears and he wondered if Hotch's ears were okay. He never talked about the injury to them in the blast of a year ago. He never complained, but Rossi was sure they still bothered him once in awhile.

"You okay," He asked the SAC as he got to his feet and shook his head like a dog getting a bath.

"Yeah… Blevins is dead."

Rossi looked down at the Constable who taken the entire blast to his mid section. "Jesus Christ!" He nearly shouted.

"The others Dave?"

"I warned them!"

Hotch and Rossi stepped over the body as the state police rushed up to the house. He let the officers precede them into the house and swarm over it like ants. They found the back door free of traps. Hotch let Reid, Arlington and Morgan into the house.

"What happened?" Arlington demanded.

"Blevins is dead." Rossi told her.

Her face went as red as her hair and tears rolled down her cheeks. "I want to see -"

Hotch grabbed her arm. "No… You don't want to see him."

"Let go of me. You don't know anything… He was like my dad. My parents were killed in a car accident when I was fifteen. He practically raised me."

"That's the best reason of all not to walk out there. He'd want you to remember him as he was."

"We need you to stand up and help us." Hotch said, but his eyes were kind. "Can you do that?"

"I'll do what I have to do."

"Agent Hotchner…" A voice said from down the hall to their right. "You better get in here."

They hurried single file down the hallway that had white painted walls and ugly rust colored shag carpet that matched the living room. The room at the end of the hallway was a bathroom. The state police had turned on a light in a frosted shade. It lit up the white walled, white tiled room and showed the corpse lying in dark red water.

Deputy Hanks was nearly submerged with one hand hanging over the edge of the tub. A pool of blood had dripped from the long cut on his arm. Arlington screamed and ran out of the room. Morgan started after her, but Hotch pulled him back.

"Let her go."

"What the hell is going on Hotch?" He asked, glaring down at the dead man as though his suicide was a personal affront to him.

A state trooper entered the room, pushing two others out of his way. "Agent Hotchner… We searched the house. There's no sign of the boy here."

"He's not the killer." Rossi said looking at Reid who was nodding his head.

"But I thought -" The trooper began."

"The man we're looking for is arrogant. He wants to die by suicide by cop. He's not going to take himself out before the end game."

"He killed the Constable," The man pointed out.

"Yes but that was meant for us." Hotch included his team in a hand gesture. "He thought we come out here on our own."

"I don't understand."

"We know that this man has a partner. Hanks lured David away from Terry so the killer could grab the boy."

"What about the boys that have disappeared in different states?" Morgan asked.

"I don't know yet."

"I don't see how it's possible." Arlington had come back into the room, elbowing through the bigger cops.

"We appreciate how you want to get this guy, but we need you to clear the room." Hotch said.

The state troopers hesitated and looked at each other. They filed out of the small room one by one except for one burly officer with a wedge of graying dark black hair. His dark eyes sent daggers in the direction of Hotch.

"Blevins was one of us." He shot the forefinger of his right hand at Hotch. "We want in on this."

"I said to clear the room." Hotch said with fury burning down in his eyes. "When the press gets a hold of this it's going to look bad for everyone. We need to work the scene and find Hanks' accomplice before we all end up on the news. You can help, but this is a federal case."

The man stormed out of the bathroom after giving Hotch another dark look.

"You're making friends right and left Aaron." Rossi kidded.

"We need to close this fast."

"I know…"

"I'm going to call Garcia and find out if -" Morgan started to say into the silence that filled the room after the large cop had left. He was interrupted by Reid's phone ringing.

"Hey Garcia… You must be reading my mind."

"_No playing Reid… We've got a serious problem on our hands." _

"What is it?" Reid squeaked and tried to avoid Hotch's eyes as ice went up his spine.

"_You're friend Stanton has some very interesting information in his past." _

"What is it?" There was a click in his throat and suddenly he wanted Emily right there in front of him where he could see her.

"_Stanton worked as a cop in all three of the towns where our victims went missing. He and Hanks played football in college at Weber State in Utah. They went to the police Academy in Salt Lake City Utah before Hanks came back to work in his hometown. They met up for fishing trips on the date of the other murders. Then Stanton decided to move to Carterville. Stanton has a home three miles from you and a second property there that's way up route eleven and off the beaten path. It's an old hunting shack from the days of the fur trade."_

"How far away?" He could hardly get the words out.

"_Ten miles… And Reid, I tried to call Emily, but she's not answering her cell." _


	27. Chapter 27

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter_**

Even though the Explorer was as sure-footed as a tank, Emily bounced around like a ball in a pinball machine. She held on tight to the door handle as the truck scraped over the muddy and bumpy road toward its destination.

Stanton dropped the vehicle into second gear. The engine whined, and the tires dug into the wet earth while the branches of the dark green pines and the black and white birches tried to embrace the vehicle and pull it into the forest. The scratching sound over the paint of the truck sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard. It made Emily shiver as thought someone had run a finger down the back of her neck.

Then the endless tress opened around them as they climbed a steep hill. A cabin came into sight in front of them as suddenly as if a magician had called it into being.

The small cabin was stone with two windows looking out at them from the front of the building. The roof was steeply pitched and made from wood faded the same grey as the stones that held it up.

Stanton swung the SUV around in the makeshift driveway and threw the gearshift into park. He shut off the engine and the resulting quiet was a relief. The passenger side door faced the road they'd just come up and to Emily it looked very lonely.

Then she took a closer look at the clearing and noticed something strange. "I don't see -"

Stanton was pointing his gun in her face when she turned to face him. The barrel was very large and the bore as dark as midnight. There was nothing else in the universe but that gun and the beating of her heart in her ears.

"Now," Stanton requested in a tone that was reasonable, bordering on kind. "Take out your gun."

"What are you doing?" Emily stuttered. "W-where's Deputy H-hanks car?"

"Take out your gun now."

"Why?"

"I'm going to ask you just once more." The cocking of the revolver echoed as if they were in a canyon far from anyone.

She reached for her gun. "Alright…"

"Very slowly, Agent Prentiss."

She obeyed with trembling hands. He pushed the button to lower her window. It went down with a smooth, soundless, quality that was the sound of finality.

"Throw it out the window," he ordered, waving the gun just a bit when she hesitated.

Emily tossed the gun out of the SUV and watched it arc out over the low stone wall that surrounded the cabin. It fell into the trees with a swooshing sound that sent birds screaming into the air.

"Get out," He ordered again, shoving the barrel of the gun into the side of her head.

She unhooked the seatbelt as he got out of the car and came around to the door. He stood far back as though he knew what she intended to do with the door.

"Don't get any ideas!" He warned her. "Get up there." He pointed the gun at the top of three large stone steps that went up to the door.

She walked as slowly as possible up the steps until he pushed the gun into her back. "Get moving or your dead."

She opened the door and entered the cabin. The light from the early morning barely illuminated the entryway. He herded her along to the living room with a couch in front of a fireplace that was black and cold. He shoved her again and she stumbled, nearly falling into the long trestle table in front of her.

The walls and floors were stone in the whole building. It was cold and damp. It was like walking into an underground cave. There were woven rugs made from old rags on the floor and a moose head on the wall over the fireplace.

"In there," He pushed her toward the back of the room. Another small room connected the main room with a low wall made from wooden logs.

When she entered the room, she saw a young boy with dark curls lying on a bed, chained and gagged. The boy saw her and his eyes filled up with fearful tears. Her heart ripped up, but she tried not to let it show. She made her face arrange into a smile.

"Hello Terry… My name is Emily."

"Isn't this sweet?" Stanton taunted.

"Let him _go_ you monster." She shouted at him. Anger was like acid eating away at her logic. She threw a punch at him but he blocked it easily.

She cried out in pain as he twisted her right arm behind her back. "You see Agent Prentiss; you're a prime example of why women shouldn't be in law enforcement." He yanked her arm up higher on her back. "Pregnancy makes women weak," He said. "Men don't have that curse."

She cried out again. Terry whimpered. "Shut up you little brat." The man said very calmly and he smiled at the boy.

"Why don't you let him go?" Emily said through her tears. "I'll stay here."

"Oh, you'll stay here alright. I'm only sorry that I can't enjoy you as I'd like." He licked her cheek.

"I know Hanks was the pedophile, not you. I can tell my boss that you helped Hanks, but you didn't do anything."

"That's where you're wrong. You see, Hanks was the pervert. He liked raping and beating little boys, but he didn't have the stomach for killing children. I don't have that problem. We were the perfect team until Blevins grew a pair and called in the BAU.

"I can help you!"

"Oh you're going to help me alright. When your skinny lover shows up, we're going to have a lot of fun."

He hit her hard on the head with his gun and she fell to the floor.

-----

Reid dropped his phone.

"What the hell Red?"

The young man looked up at Morgan with his large eyes so full of torment that Morgan half expected that Tobias has come back from the grave. Reid turned, left the room at a near run, leaving the rest of them staring after him until Hotch followed him out.

Morgan picked up Reid's cell, which was lying on its side and open.

"_Hey… What's going on Reid?" a voice said. _

"Baby girl… What did you tell our genius?"

"_Where's Reid?"_

"He took off like a bat outta hell. What did you say to him?"

"_Hey asked me to check out Deputy Stanton."_

"Why?"

"_I don't know, but I think he was on to something." _

"Why?"

"_I've got bad news." _

'What is it?"

"_I checked on Stanton. He was born in Duncan Wyoming, where the first kid disappeared. He's the same age as Charlie Hanks. They went to Weber State together in Utah where the second kid was taken." _

She had his full attention now.

"_They met in college," She went on. "He joined the force in Wyoming a year ago after working in Utah for a couple of years. He quit UHP, but in talking to his commanding officer there, it was just before they were going to get rid of him. I don't know why Constable Blevins hired him. I don't think the Constable knew Hanks and Stanton knew each other." _

"What else baby girl?"

"_Stanton is an orphan. His dad and stepmother died in the fire. He had a younger brother that died in a drowning accident when he was five."_

"Let me guess, the little boy looks like the victims."

"_You got it in one sugar. They could all be brothers. Stanton was thirteen and he was the last one to see the little boy alive."_

"Wonderful…"

"_Yep… They cops questioned him, but nothing came of it. His mother disappeared when he was five. They never found her. Morgan, his dad looks just like Reid._

_I have a location for Hanks. There is an old cabin in the woods south of there. I'll send the GPS coordinates to your phones." _

"Thanks baby girl."

"_I'll keep digging," _she hung up on him.

"What did she say?" Rossi asked.

"Let's go find Reid." Morgan said, as he headed for the door. The others followed him in confused distraction to the front of the house.

---

"Reid…"

Reid stopped at the sound of his angry unit chief's voice. "We need to get back to the station!" The young man insisted.

"We're not going anywhere until you tell me what that was all about!"

"I - um Garcia called and…"

He explained all of it to his boss, everything that Stanton had said and the threats he had made. He explained how he had had Garcia check out the deputy and what she'd found.

Hotch was tight lipped by the time Reid finished. He was about to open his mouth when the rest of the team came out of the house.

"He's right… We need to get back to the station." Morgan handed Reid his phone with a hard look.

"I think -"

Reid's phone interrupted them, "H-hello…"

"_Dr Reid… I have someone that would like to say hello." _

There was a muffled sound and then a small child crying.

"Terry…" Reid breathed.

The child screamed and then there was a slap of flesh on flesh. A voice that chilled him to the bone drifted through the phone. _"Don't listen to him. Don't do what he wants!" _

There was another muffled slap and a moan. _"You know where to find me by now Dr. Reid. I'll see you in thirty minutes, or they all die." _

"Hotch… He has them." Reid said after shutting the phone. "We have to go."

"We'll go, but we'll take backup." Hotch insisted. "You and I are going to talk." He warned Reid as they went to their SUV.

Hotch grabbed several state cops on the way and gave them the coordinates Morgan had got from Garcia. They climbed into the vehicles and headed out into bright yellow sunshine.

---

Stanton stood with his gun shoved into Emily's belly. He had one arm around her neck, holding her tightly to him when Reid and Hotch burst into the cabin. Terry tried to scream when they entered the room, but the dirty rag shoved in his mouth muffled the cry.

Reid only had eyes for Emily. Tears were streaming down her face, but she kept silent. Reid felt rage such as he'd never known well up in his stomach. The gun he pointed at Stanton wavered in his hands.

"Reid…" Hotch's voice made his eyes flicker over to his boss.

Hotch nodded slightly and his dark eyes flashed toward Emily. Reid shifted the grip he had on his revolver to something less than a death grip and looked Stanton right in his sneering green eyes.

"Let her go!"

"I don't think so Dr. Reid."

Hotch decided on a different tactic. "You're surrounded Stanton. The State Police are with us. There's no where for you to go. "

Stanton laughed at Hotch. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Who do you want to talk to?" Rossi asked having entered the room behind the two agents

"Shut up old man."

Reid saw his arm tighten around Emily's throat and his finger tightened on the trigger. He wanted to take a shot at Stanton, but it was too dangerous. He'd been lucky twice with a gun, but three times might be asking too much from fate.

Morgan and JJ entered the small room with their side arms trained on Stanton.

"Good… Now that everyone is here Dr. Reid, let's talk about how we'll resolve this interesting quandary."

He looked over at JJ who was edging toward Terry. "I wouldn't do that Agent Jareau."

JJ froze and flicked her gaze to Emily's face when her friend whimpered at the sound of Stanton's gun cocking in his hand.

"Thank you Agent Jareau. Just stay where you are."

"Why don't you put down the gun and we'll talk." Hotch tried again.

"I told you that I don't want to talk to you."

"What do you want?"

"I have a little game I want to play with Dr. Reid."

"What kind of game?" Reid asked, his voice beginning to tremble.

"Don't do it Reid!" Emily whispered around her captor's tight arm.

"Shut up you bitch!" He tightened his grip further around her throat.

"Alright… I'll play your game." Reid said quickly, lowering his gun to point at the ground.

"Good…" Stanton shifted the gun just a bit but it was still pointing at Emily's belly.

"Dr Reid," He said. "I think the rest of your team need to be brought into your little secret."

Reid licked his lips and felt sweat running down his back. His heart was pounding so hard, it shook his whole body.

"W-what do y-you mean?"

"Don't play stupid with me. I know you and Agent Prentiss are hiding something very important from your team. I want to see the looks on their faces when you tell them what you two have been up to."

"What's this bastard talking about?"

"Shut up Agent Morgan. Tell them what you're hiding, or Agent Prentiss and the baby die."

Reid looked at Emily. "It's okay Reid." She whispered hoarsely. She tried to smile, but her throat was burning and she could barley breathe.

"Tell them," Stanton repeated angrily.

Reid took a deep breath and looked over at his teammates. Only JJ was looking directly at him, though he knew that rest of them were listening.

"I'm the father of Emily's baby."

"Very good Dr. Reid, you just saved your baby's life."

"You got what you wanted. Let them go."

Stanton pushed Emily away from him and she fell to the stone floor, cracking her head against it and falling silent.

Then everything happened very slowly and fast at the same time. Stanton turned his gun on Reid even as the young man dove under him to Emily's side. Several shots rang out and something fell next to Reid. Then there was only silence.


	28. Chapter 28

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: See my profile and the first chapter**_

JJ moved quietly down the corridor of the small hospital building. Noon had come and gone, but Emily was still there. The doctor had determined there was no concussion or broken bones. He also had declared that the baby was okay. He wanted Emily to stay there for another twenty-four hours, despite the good diagnosis.

JJ's head was still trying to get around the news that Reid had fathered Emily's baby. For his sake, she thanked God the baby and Emily were okay.

_Now… when would they admit that they belonged together in the open instead of hiding? _

With this thought in mind, she continued to navigate the long winding hallway to room six. The door was partway open when she stepped inside. The sight in front of her stopped her in her tracks. Reid was sitting in a chair he had pulled up as close to Emily's bed as he could get.

His head was on Emily's legs. One long fingered hand was stroking her baby belly with a gentleness that brought tears to JJ's eyes. She could just hear him talking to the baby.

"Don't worry… Daddy loves you very much. Mommy will be okay and soon we'll go home. I'll never let anything happen to either of you again. I promise!"

JJ backed quickly out of the room and headed back the way she came. Morgan came around the first corner she approached and they almost collided.

"Hey JJ…"

"Come with me!" She grabbed his arm and tugged him several feet down the hallway before he recovered his surprise and planted his feet.

"Hey … What's the big deal?"

"Emily doesn't need a visitor right now."

"I just wanted to see how she is."

"You were going to interrogate her about Reid."

He opened and then shut his mouth with an audible snap.

"I thought so. Either come with me to get coffee, or go back to the motel. They deserve their privacy."

"He's in there with her?"

"Where else would he be? Leave them alone for tonight!"

He turned in the direction she'd been leading him and headed down the corridor. "You're right."

"I'm right?"

"Yeah… Despite what you think, I care about both of them. I'm not out to have a laugh at their expense."

JJ stopped, crossed her arms over her chest and began to tap her foot impatiently while eyeing him with narrowed eyes.

"Alright… You got me! I'd love a chance to make Dr. Reid blush."

"I know!"

"I promise to wait till tomorrow."

They continued down the hallway toward the waiting room where Hotch and Rossi would be waiting to hear what she'd been able to find out. They passed a very short and stocky man who limped by with a black walking stick. He wore a camel hair overcoat and highly polished black shoes. He raised his hat to JJ before continuing down the hall.

Morgan smirked at her and she punched him in the shoulder. "Chivalry isn't completely dead."

"I think he likes your blond hair," Morgan joked.

She smacked him again. "You can't go two minutes without teasing someone."

"It's part of my charm."

"That's funny… You never answered my question."

"What question is that?"

"I asked you why Hanks ran."

"He was the submissive partner JJ. When the FBI was called in, he decided to take the coward's way out. And, he made sure that Stanton takes the blame for everything."

"He obviously hated Blevins."

"No he didn't hate the constable. He feared him. That shot was meant for us. He was completely loyal to Stanton. Stanton was the one that killed the boys. He wasn't a pedophile, he just liked killing. Hanks was the pedophile and a decoy. He's the one that beat and raped the boys."

Morgan's eyes had taken on an angry cast that scared anyone but his team or close friends. JJ laid a hand on his arm. He smiled tightly at her.

"How is she?" Hotch asked as they entered the waiting room.

"The nurse didn't want to tell me till I gave her my proxy."

"I'm not surprised that Emily made you her emergency contact." Rossi said.

"I called her mother and the Ambassador was true to form. She's out of the country and she didn't ask about the baby."

"What did you find out?" Hotch repeated as they took chairs in the small room that was empty but for them.

"She doesn't have a concussion. She has a few bumps and bruises, but no broken bones. The baby is okay too. The nurse said that they want to keep her here for another twenty-four hours. She also said that she's still sleeping. Reid was with her when I went in. I didn't talk to either of them," JJ added.

"By the way JJ, nice job on the press conference," Rossi said.

"I'm just glad that Terry will be okay."

"At least those bastards didn't get a chance to hurt him." Morgan added.

The others nodded in agreement. "Is it wrong for me to be glad Stanton is dead?" JJ wondered.

"No!" Hotch said with finality. "Sometimes it's better that way."

"Why did he obsess over Reid?"

"I got a call from Garcia after they brought in Terry and Emily. His father claimed that Stanton wasn't his son. He was going to divorce Stanton's mother when she disappeared. I suppose he could have believed that his mother was unfaithful. It would have had a strong effect on how he saw women. He saw weakness in Emily when we came here. He knew it was over so he decided to go out his way. Since Reid resembled his father, he got a bit of revenge in his mind."

"Do you think that's really all there was too it Hotch."

"No Morgan, there could be other reasons. We'll never know and frankly, I'm more concerned about Emily and Reid then Stanton."

"Me too," JJ agreed.

"Let's go get something to eat and then we all need to get some rest." Hotch ordered.

---

Emily opened her eyes several hours later, to pain in head and over most of her body. Everything looked too bright to her eyes. She squinted and tried to remember where she was and what had happened.

"Emily…"

The voice was near her head. She turned and saw the beautiful eyes she loved. They were red rimmed and the dark circles that were always present seemed so deep.

"I'm sorry…" She said a bit breathlessly.

"Why?"

"I put our baby in so much danger. You must hate me."

"No, I meant, why did you go out there alone. He could have killed you."

Now she saw what she had missed in the confusion of waking. He was furious.

"I couldn't lose another child."

"So you put our baby in danger. I don't understand you."

He had got up to pace. Nervous and angry energy pushed him in a way she hadn't seen since he'd put his life on the line to save a troubled young man in Texas.

"Are you going to lie there and ignore me?" He attacked.

Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I know! What I don't understand is why you did it. Was it hormones? Is that the excuse?"

"Reid… Please don't -"

"No!" He cut through her plea. "It can't be hormones. That's the female excuse. It would be too easy. You never use the female excuse. What else is going on?"

Tears choked her as her fists twisted into the light blue blanket on the bed. She swallowed hard against the hurtful words she wanted to use against him.

"Emily!"

She stared down at her belly as the tears came at last.

"I think we made a mistake." He said with a finality that made her quake in terror.

She looked up in utter shock. He was standing at the foot of her bed with his hands in his pockets. He looked completely serious despite the obvious pain in his eyes.

"What did you say?"

"I think we made a mistake."

"NO!"

"I think we've been fooling ourselves."

Her eyes were glued to his face. He'd never spoken to her and any of them like this. Real pain shattered her heart at his tone.

"You t-think the b-baby was a mistake." She said through her tears.

"No. I think our arrangement was a mistake."

"I don't understand. What do you want?"

"Not this," He threw his arms wide, "Our arrangement to have a baby and be just friends. I love you Emily Prentiss. I realized today that I couldn't stand on the sidelines. I want a real family with you and the baby. I want everyone to know that I'm the one you love."

"Reid I -"

"Call me Spencer," He said very softly. The dramatic shift in tone scared her.

"What?"

"We made a baby together. I think you can call me by my first name."

"I'm sorry for scaring you, Spencer. I didn't think. I just wanted to save that boy. I couldn't bear to find another dead child."

He sat down on the chair that he'd pulled up to the side of her bed. "There's something else. Help me understand Emily."

His eyes had gone soft and the love she'd seen, but ignored for the sake of her own safety was looking out at her again with deep concern.

"I lost a baby when I was a teenager."

Surprise leaped in his eyes, but he didn't say anything as she told him about getting pregnant as a teen and then losing the baby.

"I hated my mom for a long time after that."

"Emily…"

"I don't hate her now. We just have a very complicated relationship. I think she's happy about the baby in her own way."

"You don't have to explain. I know what it's like to have complicated relationships with your parents."

She reached out and squeezed his hand. "We're a couple of lost souls, aren't we?"

"No, not anymore," He disagreed. "What now?"

"I'm a grown woman that is deeply in love with her baby and the father of her baby. It's simple!"

He stared at her with hope and reluctance to believe warring in his eyes. "You don't have to say that. It's okay."

She motioned him to come closer so he bent over her bed. "I'm not saying that out of guilt or because I'm hormonal and pregnant."

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him full on the mouth. His lips were tight at fire and he tried to pull away, but she was stronger then him, even injured. So, he gave up and began to enjoy the soft warmth of her lips and the way her hands roamed through his hair.

He pulled her up into his arms, lifting her upper body off the bed as her tongue pushed into his mouth. A sharp sound of need broke them apart. Who had groaned into whose mouth? He didn't know, but it broke through the haze her mouth had dropped over his brain.

He lowered her back to the bed. "I'm sorry…"

"I'm not!" She grinned up at him. "Who knew Spencer Reid could kiss so well."

His face went scarlet. "Um… well I don't know -"

"About time!" A voice said from the doorway.

Hotch stood there smiling at them. Emily almost laughed at the look of hand in the cookie jar expression on Reid's face before he turned to face their boss.

"Oh… ah sir… We were just talking."

"I can see that."

Hotch's smile retreated and he faced Emily with his trademark scowl. "I hope you have a good explanation for your behavior, Agent Prentiss."

She looked up at Reid who was looking anywhere but at her or their boss. So she told Hotch what she'd just told Reid.

"I'd suspend you for two weeks, but we need you and you're going out of maternity leave in a couple of months. Still, I meant what I said; this is your last trip in the field."

"I'm not going to argue with you Hotch."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine… I just have a headache."

"You're lucky you don't have a concussion."

"I know… I'm sorry Hotch."

"I'm a father too Emily. I understand. I'm very sorry for what happened to you as a kid. Just don't let it affect your job again."

"I promise it won't," She said.

"I guess I'll be pleading your case with Strauss."

"You need help with that," Rossi asked from behind Hotch.

"Yeah, I think I might," Hotch admitted to the older man.

"Sounds like fun!"

Emily laughed with Rossi while Reid and Hotch just looked at them.

"Do I want to know?" Rossi asked gesturing to Emily after the laughter had died down.

"I had artificial insemination. Reid was my donor."

"So you went to all that expense and humiliation instead of admitting how you feel and doing it the old fashioned way?"

"When you put it like that?" Reid grumbled.

"At least you two finally got together."

"And I just lost the pool." JJ complained to Morgan as they entered the room.

"My man... When are you going to do things the normal way?"

Reid went read again under all the pairs of eyes that were fixed on him. "Well… see Emily asked me for a favor and I -"

"Some favor kid," He slapped Reid on the back. "So about the donation…"

"Morgan!"

"I didn't think you were that devious Reid. You tell us the truth months ago and we don't believe you."

"Is there no one that's not eavesdropping on this conversation?"

"You're cute when you're mad." Morgan had put an arm around Reid's shoulders and squeezing tighter then was necessary.

"Shut up Morgan!"

"Hey, injured and tired girl over here," Emily broke in. "Get out or I'll find my gun."

"Well that's friendly."

"Come on guys…" JJ herded them out, leaving Reid and Emily with a smirk and a wink.

"Now that the cats out of the bag?"

"Are you mad?"

"No! I just hope Morgan back off the teasing."

Reid took his seat again. "I don't care. I have all I want."

"You do? A little presumptuous of you."

"I'm s-sorry I t-thought -"

"I'm kidding. I'm very happy."

"Me too, the doctor said you can go home tomorrow."

A grin broke over her face that lit up the room. She was there and she was safe. He'd put aside his anger and start again with her and his child.

"We have to talk." She said as though reading his thoughts.

"Later!"

"Okay!"


	29. Chapter 29

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter. **_

_**A/n hello all! Here's some fluff after all the angst. It's a bit short, but there's a longer chapter coming up.**_

Emily narrowed her eyes at Sophie, who was making her way to Reid. The father of her child was curled up at one end of the couch reading a new book from, "The Last Word." He seemed unaware of being stalked by Sophie, who jumped up on the couch. She crept forward as though ready to pounce on a tasty mouse.

Emily laughed when the cat meowed loudly and Reid jumped. He dropped the book with a thud on the light grey carpet. He looked at Emily and then at the cat as though they'd planned it together. Sophie batted at Reid's hand with her paw. Almost as though he'd been trained, Reid began petting the cat on the top of her head. She began to purr while staring at Emily.

"How do you do it?"

He looked up from scratching the cats head. "How do I do what?"

"How do you charm every female you meet?"

Sophie's eyes were closing under his hands

"I don't charm anyone!" He squeaked.

"What do you call that?" She pointed to the sleeping feline.

"Um…"

"That's what I thought," Emily said triumphantly.

She stood up, walked to his side and picked up the sleeping cat. Sophie jerked awake, opened her yellow eyes, and yowled at her owner.

"You're in my spot." Emily said, putting the cat down on the floor.

Sophie hissed at her and left the room with her tail in the air.

"There goes my own personal drama queen."

Emily took the cat's place, snuggling into Reid's arms. Her head rested against his chest as the fingers that had been stroking Sophie's back, now made their way into Emily's dark hair. He massaged her scalp and the tension of the last week faded away.

"Hm… I can see why Sophie prefers you to me."

She breathed in his scent which was mostly reminiscent of all the coffee he drank like water. There was something else too, that she couldn't identify, but it made her feel like everything would always be alright.

"Are you jealous of the cat?" He squeaked.

"Yes…" She kissed the edge of his jaw.

"I thought you said she was fickle."

"She is." Her arms reached up and wrapped around his neck

He kissed her neck. The baby kicked when his hands started making slow circles on her belly.

"The baby's glad you're here." She whispered.

"Although the baby can hear things from outside the womb, he or she doesn't have the cognitive abilities to distinguish one person from another. The baby doesn't have the emotional maturity to be happy or sad about my presence."

"Way to put a logical, intellectual spin on it." Emily said. "Can't you just suspend your disbelief and pretend?"

"Oh yeah… um… sorry," he stammered.

"It's okay! The baby is half you and half me so maybe he or she has your brains too."

He kissed her cheek. "I hope not!"

"Why?"

She could feel him shifting uncomfortably against her back. "I'd never wish my childhood on anyone"

"It'll be different this time."

"How?"

"Because I'm not sick and you're not going anywhere."

His hands stilled in their restless course over and around her belly. The baby kicked her hard as if it wanted more of daddy's touch. He kissed her leaning over her shoulder to claim her lips.

"I'll never leave you." He whispered when they parted. "I _promise_."

"You better not, because I know three guys and a computer tech that would hunt you down."

She shifted slowly around so that she could look at his eyes.

"I'm not scared of the guys." He squeaked bravely.

"Really…" She lay down across his lap with her head on the soft arm of the couch.

"No! I'm terrified of Garcia though."

His hand went back to rubbing her belly. The baby had stopped kicking for the minute.

"Are you?" She tried not to laugh.

"Yes! The guys have muscles and guns, but Garcia has her babies." The awed, reverential tone in his voice made her giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"You're funny. You always make me laugh at the oddest times. It's one of the things I love about you."

"I'm glad I amuse you."

Her hands pulled his blushing face down for a long, slow kiss that made her toes and fingers tingle.

"Wow…" Reid said breathlessly when she let go of his face.

"Hold my place." She wiggled out of his embrace. "Your child is sitting on my bladder."

Emily headed to the bathroom while Sophie made her way back to the couch. She jumped up into Reid's lap.

"She'll be pissed if you're here when she comes back." His fingers kneaded the cat's back near her tail, making the cat purr loudly. "Okay, you can stay till she comes back, but then you better be gone."

When Emily came back, the cat was on the chair across the room. She took her seat, which Sophie had been keeping warm and confronted Spencer.

"You two don't fool me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Since she couldn't be sure if he was lying, she glared at Sophie who turned her back and began to wash.

"Fine… I'll get the truth somehow."

"You're paranoid." He kissed her neck.

She relaxed in his arms till his hands moved up under her blouse and made their way to her breasts.

"Spencer…"

"Hm…"

"Stop!" She clambered away from him.

"Emily!"

"You're whining," She rearranged her maternity blouse over her slacks.

"I just thought that…"

"You thought you'd get in my pants now that we stopped walking on eggshells around each other."

"It's been six weeks since we stopped 'walking on eggshells' around each other as you say. "

"That's the point!"

"We've known each other for three years."

She picked up one of his hands and examined it so she didn't have to look in his eyes. "I can't Spencer!"

"The books all say that sexual intercourse during pregnancy is perfectly safe."

"I'm not a statistic in a book!"

"I know Emily. I just want to be close to you."

"We are close." She stood up awkwardly and went to the window that looked out over the Jefferson Memorial. "You've become my best friend. You did something extraordinary for me. Name one other guy that would willingly do what you did for me. No one has ever loved me like that."

Hands fell on her shoulders and she leaned back into his arms.

"I love you too." He breathed on her neck. "Let me show you how much. You're so beautiful."

She pulled away. "Please don't make this harder than it has to be Spencer. You're a kind, gentle, loving man that I adore."

"But you're not attracted to me."

"That's the problem…" She made him look at her in the eye. "You're a very attractive and arousing man. Every time you look at me, I want to rip your clothes off."

"Then… I don't understand," and she could see that he didn't get it.

"I want to wait until after the baby's born. I know it's safe but I want to make love to you completely. I don't want to hold back."

"Are you sure that's all?"

_Damn… He might be smarter than I thought._

"If you must know, I'm not feeling very attractive right now. I'm bloated and I have stretch marks and swollen ankles."

"I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He brushed a lock of her hair away from her face.

"Why do you have to make this so hard?" She asked the tall lanky man that could make her go weak at the knees with just a look.

He smiled and she smacked his shoulder. "You're pretty devious Spencer Reid, but the answer is still no."

"Okay, I'll just resign myself to the next few months of cold showers."

"Thank you for understanding."

He pulled her in for another brief kiss, that was so sweet and soft, she almost decided to throw caution to the wind and give in.

"I've got to go." He said.

"Okay, I'm kind of tired."

"Be careful on the stairs."

"Yes sir, Mr. Overprotective."

"There are two thousand eighty-five accidents per year involving serious injury from falls down stairs at home." He went back in lecture mode.

"Spencer!"

He grinned at her, kissed her, and headed for the door. Sophie appeared and meowed as he left. Emily went back to the couch. Sophie jumped up and seemed to stare disapprovingly at her.

"Yeah… I wish he could stay too."

The cat meowed.

"I know… I shouldn't have chased him away, but I'm not ready for sex yet."

Sophie snuggled into Emily's side. "Well… I thought Spencer was your new pal?"

The cat just swished her tail. "Okay, let's go see if there are any treats left in the pantry."


	30. Chapter 30

_**Disclaimer: see my profile **_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter.**_

_**A/n hey all... I just wanted to thank you all for your continued support of this story. Also, a big shout out to my excellent beta REIDFANATIC, who keeps me honest and on track. Here's the next chapter for you. Enjoy and have a great weekend. **_

Emily pushed the button on the remote for her DVD Player. The screen went blue, and then displayed the terse warning in black and white from the FBI that proclaimed copying, or showing the movie in public for profit, was illegal and so on. She arranged the pillows Helga had brought down for her behind her head and one behind her back. The glass of milk on the coffee table was full and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, warm from the oven smelled like summer to her.

Helga rattled dishes in the kitchen as the opening credits played on screen. Emily looked around the brownstone, which was in pristine order thanks to her new housekeeper, which Reid had hired without telling her. She grinned to herself, thinking of how angry she tried to be at his interference - then Helga had cooked for her and it was all over - as she knew Reid had planned.

"I'll be leaving now, if there is anything else ya need before I go? Helga said behind her in a voice of slightly accented German.

Emily jumped in surprise. The woman could move very silently for her size, which were six feet tall and over two hundred pounds. She wore a crisp grey uniform that hugged her impressive curves and matched the color of her eyes and hair. The smile she always wore for Emily was as warm as her eyes. Her face was round with rosy cheeks and lips. She patted Emily's hand with her large one.

"No Helga… Thank you very much."

"Gut… I vill be going. Tell the handsome Dr. Reid that I vill bring him some strudel next week, ja?"

Emily bit back a laugh. "Sure!"

"He is too skinny. My grandmother would be very angry, God rest her soul, if she were here and saw Dr Reid. She would say "Helga, he is too skinny, feed him." He is very gut looking though."

Emily smirked at the television. This was great blackmail material if he began to annoy her again. "I'll tell him." Emily promised.

"Watch your movie and rest. You must also drink your milk and eat ze cookies. Then the baby will be strong and healthy, and beautiful." She beamed.

"Yes ma'am…" The urge to laugh was nearly overwhelming.

Helga finally left, locking the front door behind her. Sophie came out of hiding from the downstairs bathroom as soon as the door locked and it was safe. She jumped up on the couch and lay down next to Emily's feet.

"Why do you get to hide and I have to deal with her." Emily asked the cat who ignored her.

Emily made it halfway through her favorite old movie, "Desk Set," before a brief knock on her door and a key in the lock made her heart leap.

Sophie jumped down and ran to greet Reid with a loud meow. She wove around his ankles and Emily tried to get up from the couch.

"Stay put!" He commanded.

"You just missed Helga."

"Oh," He went to the bookcase and ran a finger along the top shelf.

"Spencer!"

"What?"

"Don't play innocent with me. Helga's a perfectly good housekeeper."

"I didn't say _anything_."

She narrowed her eyes at him and he shifted uncomfortably. "What do you call running your finger over the shelves like you're a drill sergeant in the army? She came with excellent references and passed your background checks. What more do you want?"

"I just want you to be safe."

"The only thing I'm in danger of is gaining fifty pounds from her cooking."

He dropped his bag on the floor and sat down. "I can talk to her."

"Right… She calls you _leibchen_, and makes you eat every time she sees you. I don't think talking to her is going to work."

He blushed crimson and picked up Sophie who inserted her claws into the material of his dark blue sweater vest.

"She told me to tell you she's making more strudel for you next week."

His eyes lit up like stars. Then at the look on Emily's face, he decided to look anywhere but right at her.

"She thinks you're too skinny."

He rolled his eyes. "Everyone says that."

"It's true! So," she decided to change the subject. "Why are you here? I thought we had a case."

"We do… I have a couple of hours and I wanted to show you something.'

"Spencer, we just saw each other this morning. You don't have to make excuses to talk to me."

"I know, but ever since you went part time, I've missed you."

"I miss seeing you too. Nothing is going to change for us just because Hotch bullied me into cutting down to half time.

"I know!"

"What did you want to show me?"

Reid's eyes lit up again. He opened his messenger bag and pulled out a stack of pamphlets. The colorful brochures fanned out on the table where he dropped them. Sophia jumped from his arms to the table and sniffed at the slippery paper. She meowed at Reid.

"What's all this?" Emily asked the question Sophie seemed to be trying to ask.

"My research on schools for the baby," He said eagerly.

"Honey, the baby hasn't been born yet."

His beautiful eyes turned sad and defeated in an instant. "But, some of the schools have up to a five year waiting list so I thought we could apply now."

_How am I supposed to say no to those puppy eyes? _

"Okay baby, what did you find out in your research?"

"Um… the first one I thought we'd check out is "The Potomac Academy for Gifted Children." They have programs for gifted children that let them learn at their own pace so they don't have to conform to a graded system.

The school was founded in 1980. It was one of the first of its kind. The board has senators, doctor, lawyers and corporate CEOs. It's located on the DC side of the river."

"So you think the baby will be a genius like you."

"No. I hope it's not. I don't want any child to suffer like I did."

"Baby…"

"It's okay. We're going to do everything different."

"Yes we are! Our baby is going to be so loved that he or she will know that they can do anything they want in life."

His eyes embraced her and she felt warm all over as though a breath of warm sunshine had enveloped her. The baby kicked and it made her smile.

"So… Do you want to hear about the rest?" He asked.

She nodded and listened to him extol the virtues of seven more schools including two in Baltimore, one in New York and one in Vermont.

"Wait! I'm not sending my baby away to school."

"Um, okay," He threw four of the brochures over his back as she laughed.

"What if the baby only has my brains?" She asked.

"You're very smart. I won't have you run yourself down like that."

"Don't sound so irritated. No one is as smart as you." She reminded him.

"That's not true! There are many people out there with higher IQs than mine. Even if the baby isn't in that category, we need to pick a good school."

"I'm sure you found at least one appropriate choice."

"Yeah… I researched the private and public schools in this area. The best private school is The Montgomery Academy. Many government employees, diplomats and other upper class families send their kids there. They have the best academic program in the state for a graded school. The security is top notch. Hotch looked it over himself a few years back when there was word that one of the children had been targeted for a kidnapping ."

"If Hotch said its okay, you can't argue with that." Emily quipped.

She finished the last of her milk and took another cookie off the plate. "Hey, have a cookie or I'll eat all of them."

He leaned over to grab one of the huge cookies and she saw his eyes glance over her glass of milk. "Let me get you something to drink"

"No!" He reached over and pushed her back. "I'll get it."

Sophie was looking at Emily with eyes that made her think that the cat was laughing at her. "You think it's funny because you're not pregnant." Emily grumbled.

She watched Reid walk back into the room with a glass of milk, which was weird. He didn't drink milk in front of the team, just coffee. His grey cords and the cranberry dress shirt he wore with a dark blue tie were so geeky sexy, she almost attempted to get up and grab him. How could someone so attractive not know his appeal? He sat down on the couch, moving with a grace that most people didn't see.

_She should just slide over on the couch and kiss him. Hm… What would his mouth taste like today? Would it be milk, or the coffee she knew he still drank when she wasn't around? His face would be smooth and silky to the touch. Her fingers could feel the smoothness of his tie as she pulled it off his neck. _

_There was a spot on the right side of his face at the jaw that was her favorite place to kiss him because he melted into putty. _

_You all but ordered him not to touch you the last time you were all alone together. He probably doesn't want you now._

"Emily?"

"What?" Her face felt hot. Was she blushing?

"Didn't you hear what I said?

"No, I was just thinking you're the sweetest guy I know."

He blushed and she grinned up at him.

"So what were you saying?" She prodded him.

"Well, I was saying that this dream of a good school might just be a dream. We're government employees. We can't afford tuition to any of these schools."

"Reid I…"

His phone rang, interrupting her. He answered it and by the look on his face, she knew their talk was over.

"That was JJ… There's been a development. I have to go now. Garcia will call you with the details."

He left his glass of milk on the table with a half-eaten cookie. He bent down and kissed her just as she had imagined before the phone had rung. It made her feel warm all over.

"I love you baby… Please be careful. "

"I will. I promise not to wander off on my own." He crossed his heart.

"Call me when you get there."

"Now who's nagging?" He laughed.

"I wish I were going instead of seeing mom tomorrow."

"It'll be okay. Just remember what we talked about, you're an adult and she isn't the boss of you."

Emily laughed and kissed him hard. "Easy for you to say… Get going before Hotch calls you again."


	31. Chapter 31

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

_**A/n hey all, here is the next chapter. Hope you all enjoy. RL has interefered for a few days so I am behind in responding to your reviews. Rest assured I will get to them all. Thanks in advance.**_

Helga bustled to the door of Emily's brownstone when the bell rang. Emily, who was sitting on the couch with pillows behind her back, tried not to feel overwhelmed by the sound of the mother's voice when Helga let her in.

"You must be Helga." Her mother was saying in that voice she saved for the servants at home.

"Ya… I am Helga. I am honored to meet you Ambassador Prentiss. Emily has told me much about you. You look just like her. She is very beautiful."

Emily had been reading the copy of Treasure Island Reid had got for the baby. Now, she buried her face in it, so as not to show how she wanted to laugh at the exchange between her mom and Helga.

"You'd be much more comfortable at home, Emily." Her mother said by way of a greeting as she took the wing back chair Helga had pulled up to the coffee table.

"In that cold, marble mausoleum, I don't think so Mother."

"The house has a full staff and you'd have your own suite. You know how much Mrs. Cooper misses you."

Emily shifted on her pillows. She'd had lunch with Mrs. Cooper two weeks ago. So, she couldn't be accused of ignoring the woman that had practically raised her.

"I saw her two weeks ago. I'm not neglecting her."

"I didn't mean to imply that you were." Her mother said when clearly she had meant to imply that very thing.

"The guilt trip won't work mom."

"I'm not trying to guilt you into anything."

"Good… Then we can start over and you can say, "Hi Emily, How are you today?" To which I would reply," I'm fine Mother, how are you?"

"There's no need for sarcasm Emily."

"Mother!"

"Alright… Hello my dear, how are you this beautiful day?"

"I'm fine Mother. How are you?"

"I'm fine. The weather is lovely outside. Don't you agree?"

"Yes… The weather is very nice today."

A very long and awkward silence followed Emily's answer. Her mother was staring at her as if to say 'I told you so.'

"Are you going to say anything mother?"

"I thought you wanted to stick to small talk."

"Fine mother, go on with what you were saying."

"I'm just saying that you'd be more comfortable at home than here. It's too small and you shouldn't be climbing stairs in your condition."

"I appreciate your concern Mother. I have Helga and she's wonderful."

"I'm sure she's fine -" The ambassador fell silent as Helga came in with a silver tray. It had a teapot, cups, saucers and pastries on it. She set it down on the coffee table and beamed at Emily.

"Thank you Helga."

"You are welcome leibchen. If you want anything else…"

"No Helga. Thank you very much. You can go home if you want."

"Thank you Miss Emily. I vill see you Friday. Good day Ambassador Prentiss."

Helga went to the closet for her light jacket and bag. Sophie ran past her to sit at Emily's feet. Helga glared after the cat and Emily almost laughed. Then, Helga was gone and she was alone with her mother and a smart-ass cat.

"Now that she's gone, we can have a conversation."

"Mother!"

"I'm just trying to understand why you stay here. I could see to it that you and the baby are comfortable."

Emily began pouring out the tea, adding one cube of sugar and just a little milk for her mother. The chore gave her a chance to think. She was a profiler. She should be able to handle her mother. She poured out her own cup with two cubes of sugar and no milk.

She smoothed down the pink maternity blouse she wore that had a picture of two sleeping kittens on the front. Her mother was staring at her when she looked up. She passed the cup of tea she'd poured out for her mother and the ambassador took it without comment.

Then her mother reached for one of the cream filled pastries that Helga had included on the tray. "I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do," She began. "Just think about this… You don't have anyone but a servant to take care of you since you insisted on artificial insemination. You're going to be all alone raising the baby. I don't want to see you shouldering such a burden by yourself."

"I'm not alone mother. I have friends and family I have my team. I would like to include you and father, but I won't be dictated too."

"I want you to have someone to depend on. What if you're alone and something happens?"

Emily put down the china cup that held her tea. The set, including the silver tray, had been a gift from her mother when she bought the brownstone. The cup rattled a bit on the matching saucer.

"Emily…"

"I wanted to wait until a more appropriate time."

"What is it?"

"The donor I used to get pregnant wasn't anonymous. He's a member of my team."

The Ambassador's face stayed neutral, but tea sloshed over the edge of her cup when she put it done on the saucer. "Are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?"

"It's Dr. Spencer Reid."

The look of relief and curiosity that came over her mother's face was surprising. "You looked relieved mother."

Her mom took another bite of her pastry and wiped her hands delicately on the light blue cloth napkins Emily had bought just for this occasion.

"Mom!"

"I'm glad you didn't get involved with your boss."

Emily's eyebrows shot up. "I thought you liked Hotch."

"I do, but he's your boss. And, he's divorced with a child of his own."

"So you're okay with Spencer as the father?"

"Now you sound surprised." Her mother took another small bite of her pastry.

"Of course I am. I chose him because he is kind, sweet, and gentle. He is smart and handsome. He loves the baby and me. He's not arrogant or the member of some blueblood family like you always wanted me to marry."

"I wanted you to be well cared for and happy."

Emily shifted a bit on her pillow, her cup of tea forgotten. "I am Mother." She huffed impatiently.

"Then why all the drama? Why not just get married and have a baby?"

Emily felt her face getting red. She had been asking the same thing of herself for weeks.

"Your view is so simplistic mother. It wasn't simple for him or me. There are rules against fraternizing at work. I didn't want him to lose his job. I love my job and I didn't want to leave. I know you don't approve of my career, but it means a lot to me. Its part of who I am, just like this baby."

She rubbed her hands over her abdomen. "This baby will live and have all the love he or she ever needs from a mother and a father."

Her fingers trembled on her stomach as she looked over at her mother. She felt the strong urge to be young again before she really knew that her mother could only give one hundred percent to her job.

"I want you to be a part of this baby's life."

Ambassador Prentiss didn't move from her chair for a long time. Tears began to enter the corners of her eyes. Then to Emily's great surprise, her mother stood with all the grace Emily wished she inherited. Her mother crossed to her and bent down to embrace her.

"I know you don't believe me, but I love you Emily. I always have. If you're happy, then so am I."

Emily sat back stunned after her mother released her and went back to her chair. "I - I d-don't know what to s-say."

"Don't say anything. I know I neglected you when you needed me most. I am sorry for that. Let me prove it by helping you."

Tears were prickling in Emily's eyes. Oh how she wanted to believe her mother.

"What's this?" Her mother asked pointing to one of the school brochures that Reid had left on the table.

Emily explained that Reid had been checking into schools while her mother listened and finished her tea and pastry.

"It's just a dream though." Emily said, as a couple of tears fell down her cheeks. "We can't afford any of these schools."

"Well, I have a surprise for you. It's one of the reasons I came to see you."

Emily waited as her mother got the briefcase she had left with her coat in the closet. Her mother pulled out several papers and handed them to Emily.

"You can have Hotch look at this if you want."

"Mother, what have you done?" Emily scanned the pages in front of her with growing annoyance.

"I put together an educational trust for the baby. I'll pay for any school he or she wants to attend."

"But I can't let you do that," Emily squeaked.

"Yes you can… There're no strings attached. I don't want anything but the chance to know my grandchild."

"I want to believe you."

"Please let me do this for you."

"It's not just up to me. I have to talk to Spencer about it."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. As I said, you have Hotch look at it. He'll tell you there's no hidden agenda."

"I - Um… thanks mom."

"I love you Emily. Give me another chance to prove it."

"Alright mother… I'll try, after I have Hotch look at this and I talk to Spencer."

"That's all I want. Now… What else do you know about this Dr. Spencer Reid?"

"Do you have to make that sound like it's the nineteenth century?" Emily asked as she finished her tea.

"Your father is going to want to know everything. I have to be able to give him details, unless you want to call him."

Emily grinned for the first time since her mother entered the room. "I didn't think so." The ambassador smiled back at her daughter.

"I promise I'll call him this week." Emily swore, crossing her heart like a small child.

"I still want to know everything there is to know about Dr. Reid" Her mother persisted.

"Okay… Well, let's see… He plays chess and does really clever magic tricks…"


	32. Chapter 32

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: See my profile and the first chapter. **_

_**A/n I have no idea how a trust fund is set up or the cost of private schools. I just pulled a couple of figures out of the air. Forgive me if it's not realistic. **_

Emily tapped on the open door that led into Hotch's office. "Come in," He said curtly.

She sat down with the same awkwardness she had seen in all her friends when they were eight months pregnant. It hadn't looked fun then and it wasn't fun now, but it was worth it.

Hotch looked up at her and his hard demeanor was oddly reassuring to see. "I have something I need you to look at. It's personal."

He picked up the file and opened it. She tried not to fidget in her chair while he read over the contents. "An interesting proposal." He said, his dark eyes sharing nothing as always.

"I told her I would ask you to look it over. She didn't bat an eyelash."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know yet. I was hoping you could tell me that she's sincere. She said there was no strings attached to the offer, but I know my mother. She's very used to getting her way."

"It's an iron clad offer. It basically states that your child, beginning with preschool if you desire, will be given five thousand dollars for the cost of schooling. The amount will increase by five thousand when the child goes to elementary, then junior, and senior high school. When the child turns eighteen, he or she will receive a quarter of a million dollars to be used only for school. Your mother has also included a condition for any of the monies paid. Your child must stay out of trouble or the money is lost for the next school year. She leaves the decision to discontinue payments for any reason of your choosing. If anything should happen to you or Reid, he or she will continue to receive money from the trust."

"That's it then. Can you think of anything that she might have left out?"

"No… it's clear that this contract is up to you and Reid to accept or reject at any time."

"So you think I should accept the trust." She shifted in the chair when the baby kicked her hard in the ribs.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, the baby must be a future soccer start or football player."

"Haley used to say that when she was pregnant with Jack."

A bit of his hard demeanor had softened and some of the pain he still felt for the loss of his family became evident before he straightened his back and the mask slammed back into place.

"Hotch I…"

"This is as tight an offer as you'll get. If you think Reid will agree, then I say take your mother up on it. She only wants to help Emily."

His eyes bored into hers and more pain was breaking through the armor he wore like a medieval warrior going into battle. They also warned her not to prod.

"My mother isn't one not to pry in my life Hotch."

"Your mother is a very hard woman because she doesn't know how to express her feelings."

_Like you have trouble with yours._

"Have you ever wanted someone to just accept and love you for who you are?"

"She loves you Emily. She was so proud of you when you went to Brown. I could see it in her eyes."

"She never told me." She winced as the baby kicked again.

"Sometimes it's hard for people of express how they feel. They think that if they tell someone that they love them or are proud of them, they will get rejected or laughed at."

"I wouldn't do that to her."

"I know and so does she, but old habits die hard Emily."

He folded his hands on his blotter and his eyes had shut down again. She decided to change tactics. "I need help with another big problem."

"You want to get my advice on how to tell Reid about this."

She looked down at her feet, or would have seen them if it weren't for her belly getting in the way. The baby kicked again as if to say, "get on with it Mom."

"Yeah… I think he's going to be really upset. I know him Hotch. He's going to say that she's trying to run our lives. He's going to think the same thing I thought when she first approached me with this idea. He's going to think that she thinks he can't take care of his child. You've seen how he's been acting since I got pregnant. He's Mr. Overprotective and he talks all the time about being there for the baby and never leaving. His father hurt him on a much deeper level than I ever considered. I have no idea how to begin to talk to him."

"Reid is starving for a real family. We all stand in as surrogates for the family he wants but in his heart he knows it's not enough."

A shiver ran down her spine and the baby went still as though listening to something more important than stretching and growing.

"What are you trying to say Hotch?"

"He will be upset. He'll be angry, but he'll agree to this. He finally has the family he's wanted since he was a small child. You gave him that. Why do you think he agreed to be a donor for you? He loves you very much, but having a child gives him the chance to make up for what his father did."

The baby kicked again and tears came into her eyes. God… Why couldn't she keep control over her tears anymore?

"That's not his fault," She said in a very unsteady voice. "He was a little boy, genius or not, it wasn't his fault." She repeated. "His father was the weak one. He left Spencer alone with a mentally unstable woman. He's the one that should suffer, not Spencer."

"That's why I think that Reid will accept your mother's help. He wants to do the very best for his child. That means good schools. I'll bet he's already picked out a bunch and discussed it with you."

"Yeah… He has," She grinned at him for the first time.

"I thought so. Now, go talk to him. He'll be angry, but he'll come around. He loves his little family. I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. It's not just because of the baby. He loved you for a long time before you two decided to hatch this scheme. Remember that and everything will be okay."

He smiled at her before his eyes shut down again. "I think you've got a few files on your desk?"

"Yes sir," She pulled herself slowly out of the chair.

"Hotch?"

He looked up as she turned back from the door. "Yes…"

"It's never too late to change, for anyone."

He only looked at her, but there was something deep in his eyes that made her smile as she left the office.

Emily stroked Sophie's head with one hand. "He's your new best friend. How do you think he'll react?" She asked the cat.

Sophie patted a paw at Emily's free hand and softly meowed at her mistress.

"Okay… I know I just have to wait and see.

The baby kicked her ribs again and she winced. "Don't worry, Daddy will be here soon, which is what scares me." She rubbed a hand over her stomach.

A soft knock came at the door. "It's open," She called.

"I thought you locked it behind you every time you come home." Reid said, entering the brownstone with his Go bag in one hand and his messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He put them both on the floor next to the couch and sat down next to Emily.

Her eyes drank in the sight of him wearing a pair of dark blue slacks, a white shirt turned up to the elbows, and a sweater vest with a dark blue and red diamond pattern. He looked like a college student. It was very sexy.

Sophie leapt into his lap the minute he sat down next to Emily and put his arm around her. "See, she loves you more than me." Emily complained as the cat lay down and began to purr.

He grinned at her. "She likes it when I scratch her head."

"Well she can't have you. You're mine!"

"Yes I am." He leaned in for a kiss that sent little shivers down her spine to the tips of her toes.

"Wow… You're in a mood."

"So are you," He took her free hand in his.

"It's silly really." She tried to look anywhere but at his eyes which saw too much.

"But it was important enough for you to call me over here from work." He nudged.

"Yeah… I had a visit from mom over the weekend."

"I know, you told me all about it."

"I didn't tell you everything."

His hold on her shoulders tightened a bit, but his face stayed relaxed. "Tell me," He kissed her forehead.

"She set up an educational trust fund for the baby. Before you say anything I took it to Hotch and he said that it was iron-clad in our favor. We don't have to agree to any of the terms. They can be set up any way we want. It's a really good thing for the baby because we can send him or her to any of the really good schools here in DC and -" She said very fast.

Reid had left the couch and was pacing rapidly up and down in front of the coffee table with Sophie on his heels meowing when he ignored her.

"You agreed to let your mother pay for the baby's education?" He shouted, going red in the face.

"I haven't agreed to anything Spencer Reid! Don't shout at me!"

"Why shouldn't I yell? Your mother comes in here thinking that she has to pay for our child like I can't take care of it. What gives her the right to come in her like she owns the place and our child?"

"Spencer…"

"No, the answer is no. You call her and tell her tomorrow."

"Wait just a minute Spencer Reid. This is my baby too. It's a good idea to have financial help for the baby's education. This isn't an attack on you. My mom likes you."

"You say that is if it solves everything." He stopped in front of where she sat. Sophie had fled the room when he'd begun to yell.

"I know it doesn't solve everything. If you'd calm down and look at this logically instead of letting your emotions rule -"

His face had gone scarlet and he wouldn't let her take hold of his hand. "I am looking at this logically. Logic says that if we let your mother do this, she'll try to run the baby's life and our lives."

"That's not true!"

"How can you say that to me?" He'd gone to the window that looked out over the Jefferson Memorial. "You're the one that constantly complains about how she tries to force you into her world. You got pregnant because she wouldn't leave you alone about it."

"That's not fair! I wanted this child. It had nothing to do with my mother. You know me better than that."

His shoulders suddenly slumped. "I know… I'm sorry." He walked back to her on slow and hesitant feet. "I overreacted."

"Spencer…"

"No, I lost my temper. I'm so sorry." He sat back down at her side. "I just don't want anyone to think -

"That you can't take care of the baby. I know you think you have to be Super Dad. You think you have to do everything yourself because your dad left."

He pulled away from her. "Emily…"

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. "You're going to be the best dad in the world. I don't have any worries at all about that. But, you were the one that agreed with me when I pointed out that the schools you wanted the baby to go to are too expensive for us. So, unless you want to quit the FBI and go make millions in the private sector…"

"Alright, I get it." He let go of her hand and got up to pace again. "I just wish that -"

"You wish that it wasn't my mom. It's okay. I know her faults better than anyone. I know my mother likes to control everything in her sphere, but Hotch said this was a good arrangement. I trust him with my life and so do you so why not the financial wellbeing of our offspring."

Spencer began to laugh. "Offspring?"

"Laugh all you want mister. At least I got you to smile again."

He came back to the couch again and pulled her up into his arms. "Okay… I'm sorry I freaked out. I'm not totally happy about this, but I'll try to accept it for your sake and the baby."

"Good," She hugged him as tight as she could with her baby belly in the way. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah… We're okay." He kissed her hard with a smacking sound when their lips parted. "This being a parent thing is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."

She smiled against his shoulder. "Just wait till we get our first special delivery diaper."

"What's that?" He gulped. She looked at him and his face had gone white.

"You'll find out!"

"Emily!"

"Don't worry, it'll be fine. We only have to change diapers for the next three years."

"Right," He thought of all the books he's been reading and realized what the "Special Delivery" diaper must mean. He could handle it!

"How about some coffee? Helga left some dinner in the oven."

"No coffee for you." He commanded.

"May I have some tea, Master Reid?"

"Sure… I'll get the coffee and dinner out. You sit down and rest."

"Spencer…"

"I mean it!

"Yes sir!"

He went to the kitchen and Sophie jumped up next to her. "See, that wasn't so bad."

Sophie stared at her "Okay, so I overreacted. Sue me!"

The cat meowed and began to wash. "Yeah… I know… You know everything."


	33. Chapter 33

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

_**A/n hey all here's the next chapter. Thank for all your kind reviews.**_

Emily startled Sophia into jumping off the bed when she woke up early Saturday morning. "Sorry," She muttered to the yowling cat. "The baby is sitting on my bladder."

Sophie was nowhere to be seen when she came out of the bathroom. "Hm… Should I go down and have breakfast or go back to bed." That bed looked so comfortable, but as soon as she got back in the bed, she'd probably have to get back up again for another run to the bathroom.

Her stomach growled, which made up her mind. It was Helga's day off so she'd have to make something for herself. She looked at the bed again.

"Come on girl…. Having your own housekeeper is making you lazy."

She grabbed her pink cotton bathrobe and slipped it on over the white maternity pajamas she wore as she headed down the stairs to the kitchen. She'd just stepped off the last riser when her home phone rang.

"Hello Spencer!" She didn't bother with the caller ID. He was the only one that would dare call her at this hour. Well, besides JJ or Hotch.

"_Are you up?" _

"Yes Daddy!"

"_How did you sleep?"_

"I had to get up four times to pee. How did _you_ sleep?"

"_You're cranky this morning!" _

He said it with far too much cheer in his voice for her liking.

"And you sound like someone put happy juice in your coffee mug."

_"Nope, just coffee_," He quipped. _"Anyway, I'm happy because I'm going to be a father and … I love my baby's mother very much."_

She had just sat down in the glider rocker Garcia had given her two days after they got back from Idaho, or she would have melted into a big puddle of mush at his words. God… He had a way with words.

Garcia always knew what to say and the best gift to give when someone was down. The chair and its gentle rocking motion was the best thing outside of Reid's arms for relieving her stress. In fact, she wished he were there. Talking to him on the phone just wasn't the same thing.

"You make me wish I could run out the door and right to you."

It was funny that she could almost hear him blushing over the phone.

_"Perhaps I can help you with that,"_ Her door opened and he stepped inside with a bag in one hand and his phone tucked under his chin.

"Spencer Reid! What are you doing here?"

Little tingles raced along her back at the sight of him wearing a short-sleeved white shirt, and dark grey slacks. His tie matched his slacks and had a red stripe that ran diagonally across it.

"Hi!" He put the bag down on the table and motioned for her to stay sitting.

"Don't you ever where jeans or tee shirts?"

"What? Oh… Um… I don't have any jeans." He said while making his way over to her chair.

"Well… I guess it a good thing I like the way you dress. It's very sexy!"

He went pink in the cheeks and kissed her briefly on the mouth.

"Hi Baby…" He knelt down in front of her and kissed her belly. "Are you keeping Mommy up again? She needs to get her rest so you can grow strong and happy." He lectured her belly very seriously, making her giggle.

"Remember Daddy loves you very much. We're going to have lots of fun when you get here."

"I love you." She wrapped her arms around him, pulling his head up against her stomach. The baby kicked and he laughed.

"I think the baby is a smart-ass like you." Reid said, getting up from the floor.

"Just for that, you don't get any of the chocolate chip pancakes I'm making."

"You don't have to cook." He pointed at the bag and she suddenly noticed the smell of chocolate permeating the air around her.

"What did you do?" She struggled out of the rocker and headed to the source of the smell of pancakes like they were the Pied Piper's flute, calling her to follow him.

"I stopped at the Pancake House and got an order of your favorite chocolate chip pancakes, some scrambled eggs and some honey smoked bacon."

"I love you Spencer Reid." She kissed him hard.

"You only want me for my ordering out skills."

"Yep… That's all I love about you." She agreed.

Sophie interrupted them with a loud meow.

"You don't get any of that," Emily said. "I'll get you something to eat."

"No… You sit down and I'll get it for her."

The cat yowled and went to rub on Reid's leg.

"Don't let her beg." Emily cautioned him.

Reid tried to look innocent, but Emily just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Okay, She only gets cat food. No people food from me today." He promised.

The cat followed him to the pantry, purring like a little steam engine. She fell on the food he put in front of her as if eating was about to be banned for smart-ass cats.

He got their food next, along with dishes and some orange juice from the refrigerator. "Cindy said to tell you hi." He said as he worked.

"How is she?" The smell of the pancakes was making her mouth water.

"She doesn't have to have surgery. The doctors said they caught the infection in time and she will be fine. It was her first day back at work today."

"I'm glad,"

"Honey… could you get me the sour cream out of the fridge before you sit down?"

His face went slightly green, "You're kidding!" He squeaked.

"Nope!"

"Okay, but that's just _gross." _

"You're the one that gave me that lecture months ago about paying attention to my cravings. You said, and I quote, 'Cravings are an indication that your body or the baby needs some specific nutrients. So make sure you eat what ever it is so that you stay healthy,' end quote.

"I told the baby you're a smart-ass." He complained, while getting the tub of sour cream out of the fridge.

"Don't worry, only three more weeks to go and the 'grossness' will be over."

"Is that a word?" He wondered as he sat down at the table.

She tossed the rest of her first piece of bacon at him. He threw back some toast that had come with the meal.

Sophie pounced on the bacon, which had landed on the floor next to Spencer. Emily laughed and Reid shoved the tub of sour cream at her.

"Make it fast, so I can enjoy my pancakes."

"You've seen corpses in every stage of de-comp possible and you're getting freaked out by sour cream and maple syrup on chocolate chip pancakes."

"It's not the same thing. I don't put dead flesh in my mouth."

"I certainly hope not."

"You know what I mean!"

Breakfast was over quickly despite Reid's aversion to Emily's pancake concoction. Sophie had her fill of dropped scraps even though Emily kept glaring at Reid.

He made her go into the living room while he cleaned up the kitchen. Sophie stayed in the kitchen with him, following him around as he tidied up the table and the counters.

Emily was back in her glider when he came into the living room. "Thanks for breakfast." She said, rubbing her belly."

"You're welcome." He sat down on the couch.

"Can you stay," She said hopefully.

"Yes… I'm all yours for the whole day. What should we do now?"

"I didn't really have anything planned. The next big item on my list was taking a shower."

Reid went red and coughed into his hand. "Oh… um… I guess I should go then." He squeaked.

"No!" She almost shouted. "I mean the shower can wait. I'd kind of like it if you stuck around.

"Really?" He stuttered.

"Yeah… There's a couple of things I'd like to discuss with you."

"Really?" He repeated with a squeak.

"Yep! Can we play chess while we talk?"

"Sure… I'll get the board."

He pushed the coffee table out of the way, and then brought the chessboard and a small, wooden table to the glider. He got one of the chairs from the kitchen and set up everything so that she didn't have to move.

"You're too good to me. You do everything for me and I don't have to lift a finger. Thank you."

"I'm not nine months pregnant. He said seriously. "And you're welcome." He added as an afterthought. "I just want you, and the baby, to be safe and healthy."

"See… You're so sweet. How did I get so lucky to have you love me?"

His cheeks went pink. "I don't believe in luck."

"What do you believe in?" She teased, knowing the answer.

"Statistics and probabilities, the odds of getting into a relationship with someone at work, especially in a high stress job like ours -" He suddenly broke off and he looked deeply chagrined. "I'm sorry. I'm not doing very well with be more conversational."

She bit back the desire to laugh. "It's okay. Do you want black or white?"

"White… So what do you believe?" He wanted to know.

"I'm more like Garcia. I think everything happens for a reason."

"I don't know if I believe that. Maybe a little bit since the baby."

"Why," She made her first move and had him biting his lip.

"Because I never considered being a dad, I thought I'd be like my dad."

"You're not going to be like him." She assured him.

"I know… I'll do anything for my child and for you."

"Nice segway Dr Reid. I wanted to talk to you about what were going to do after the baby is born."

He gulped and moved a pawn without even looking at the board. "Um… I was thinking about that the other day. I thought… Well, I had an idea, but I didn't know how to… I don't… "

Emily leaned over the board and took his hand in hers. "Slow down and just say it."

"I talked to Morgan a couple of weeks ago. He's selling one of his properties. It's a really great house in Arlington and I thought it would be perfect for us."

Her heart climbed up into her throat. "Are you proposing?"

"No… Um… Oh, I didn't mean that. Um… Did you want to, oh wow, this isn't going well at all."

"I think getting engaged would be moving things just a little too fast."

"You do?"

"You're not mad are you?"

"No… I thought you would be mad at me for wanting to buy a house.

"I think living together is the best idea right now. I want the baby to have his father around all the time.

"Is that the only reason?"

"You can wipe that puppy dog look off your face. You know I love you. I want you around all the time."

"I love you too."

Emily moved a rook and Reid grinned at her. "You might want to re-think that move."

"We'll see. When do I get to see the house?"

"Morgan was renting it. Now he want's to sell it. The tenets move out next week. Morgan said we could see it then."

"I'm surprised he didn't tease you about in front of all of us."

"Me too…" Reid looked very puzzled. "Maybe he's planning something."

"How about we worry about the game and not Morgan and his need to tease you twenty-four seven?"

"Okay."

"So, the other thing I wanted to talk to you about -" She broke off and pushed to her feet. "Will have to wait till I get back from the bathroom."

Sophie, who'd been sitting at Reid's feet jumped into his lap when Emily left the room. "You better get down." He told her while she stared up at him. "Emily's your owner. You should pay attention to her." The cat pushed her head into his hand and meowed.

"Alright, but if she gets cranky it's your fault."

When Emily came back to the living room, she eyed the cat with the same look she got when interviewing a suspect. Sophie hissed at her and jumped off Reid's lap. She left the room with her tail in the air.

"What is it with you?" She demanded of Reid as she got back into the glider with an awkwardness that made him want to laugh.

"I don't know what you mean."

"You want to name the baby Sophia if it's a girl." The way his face went scarlet got her giggling like crazy. "She seems to think you're the bomb so I have to wonder why."

"I don't know!"

"Yeah, just like you don't know why hookers love you."

"I don't," He squeaked.

"You just keep fooling yourself, Dr. Reid."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Nice change of subject," She made another move that had him frowning. "I wanted to talk about names for the baby. We haven't talked about it."

He looked very relived for some reason. "I don't know what to name the baby. I haven't really thought about it."

"I want to name him after his father if it's a boy."

He looked at her as if she had grown another head. "Why? "

"Why? Are you _kidding_? You're the best guy I know so it's obvious."

"No… I don't want the baby to have my name."

"Alright, you pick a name." She sat back and folded her arms.

"Um… How about Emile?"

"Where did you get that?" She watched him move his knight, but it wouldn't save him now.

"It's a play on your name."

"No… I don't think so."

"Why?"

"You don't name kids after their moms."

"Why not?"

"You just don't," She moved her knight and smiled at him.

"Fine, if you win I get to pick the middle name."

"Same for me."

"Fine, but what about first names?"

"For a boy, I like Aaron."

"You want to name the baby after our boss." She said, watching him study the board.

"Yeah… It's a great name."

"Might be fun just to see the look on his face."

"He's been great about all of this. He made it possible so I think we should thank him."

"That's fine with me. What about if it's a girl."

"What about Erin." He said slyly. "After Strauss, I don't think so," She said with finality.

"Okay, I withdraw the name." He was still studying the board in front of him. "How about Emily." He said.

"Reid…"

"Okay! I get the picture."

"Are you going to make a move?"

"Don't rush me. I'm thinking about it."

"You sound very stressed."

"Can we talk about the names please?"

She realized that she should be ashamed of the smirk that was all over her face, but she couldn't work up the energy.

"What about Jennifer?"

Reid only looked at her.

"What about Diana?"

"My mom," He squeaked.

"Why not?"

"Um, I don't know." He made the move she expected and she pounced. "Check mate."

"How?"

"You weren't concentrating."

"I guess you get to pick the baby's middle name."

"Yep!"

He looked up at her as she sat quietly staring at him. "So which one did you choose?"

"Oh no… That's top secret till the baby is born."

"Emily…"

"Pouting and looking like I just ran over your puppy isn't going to work."

"I wasn't pouting." He began collecting the chessmen and setting them back up on the board. "Double or nothing?" He asked very casually.

"Nope… Come over here." She got up and went to the couch.

"What?"

"Just sit down at the end there."

He sat and she pushed his legs apart so she could sit with her back against his chest. "I just want to sit here for awhile."

"I like this." He said, putting his hands on her stomach.

"I like it too."

Silence was truly golden she thought as he began rubbing little circles over her belly. It was so soothing that she slipped off to sleep.

Sophia jumped up on the couch and looked at them. "Shh… Mommy is sleeping." Reid put a finger to his lips.

The cat curled up and joined Emily in dreamland. Even the baby quieted under his hands until all he felt was an occasional shifting motion under his fingers. Surprisingly, he was wide awake even without the coffee he always drank in the morning.

A feeling of complete contentment he'd never felt overwhelmed him. His life was finally falling into place.


	34. Chapter 34

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter**_

"Where are we going?" Emily asked Garcia for the tenth time since the computer tech had 'kidnapped' her from her brownstone.

"Repetition will get you nowhere." Her blond friend informed her.

"You practically force me to come with you and you won't tell me where we're going!"

"Don't freak out… It's not good for the baby, sunshine."

"I wish everyone would stop treating me like glass."

"No need to pout." Garcia made a left hand turn at the light.

Garcia wore a pink scarf over her hair as they had the top down on Esther. She wore a pair of purple slacks with a white peasant blouse. The top had purple, pink and yellow flowers embroidered on the front where the collar might go on a shirt. She wore pink sneakers and had purple and pink streaks in her hair, which she had pulled back in a ponytail. She carried a huge purple tote bag and wore pink framed glasses and her usual scarlet lipstick.

"I'm not pouting. Where are we going?"

"We're almost there."

"Now you're patronizing me."

"Making me mad won't get you what you want."

Emily sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. Garcia had made her put on casual clothes and come out on a Sunday morning when she'd just wanted to sleep. Even Reid had been forbidden to bother her that morning.

"I should've ignored the door."

"Like that would work," Penelope turned right toward Arlington.

Emily laughed. "No… I guess it wouldn't have worked.

"We're nearly there." "Thank God for small favors. It's a bit chilly." "It's fine. The fresh air is good for you and the baby."

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up at a large home built from grey and black stone with a black slate roof. The porch ran the entire length of the home. There was a swing at one end of the porch and several chairs around a white painted wrought iron table.

A small child played on the grass that was rapidly disappearing under the falling leaves. An equally small dog followed the blond child as he tried to crawl away from the man that played on the lawn with him.

Garcia parked the car in the driveway behind another convertible. The second car was a Mustang and it looked vintage to Emily.

"Hey…" The man greeted them as he scooped up the boy.

"Hi Will… Is JJ here?"

"Yeah, they're inside."

"Hello Henry," Emily began cooing at the boy who was bouncing up and down in his father's arms. His cheeks were pink with exertion and he wore a dark blue jacket with a hood that hung down his back. His jeans looked new and his shoes were tiny little running shoes.

Henry looked at her for a minute, then he smiled and held out a toy truck to her. "Thank you Henry…. I'll bet you really like playing with your dad."

Will grinned. "He's the best. He's been trying to walk and driving JJ crazy as she wants to capture the moment on film." He drawled.

"How are _you_ Will?"

They all went into the house, which was filled with the scent of vanilla, cinnamon and chocolate. "I'm fine. I love being a stay at home dad."

"He's the greatest," JJ breezed into the room. She kissed Will and took Henry from him. "Isn't Daddy the best?" She unzipped Henry's coat and took it off to reveal a red and white stripped shirt. She pulled it out of the jeans and lifted it up to give him a raspberry on his little stomach. The boy screamed with laughter.

"You're so good with him." Emily smiled at the laughing boy.

"You're going to be great with your baby. Don't _worry_." JJ ordered.

"I don't know. I'm really scared.""You shouldn't be." A voice said from behind her.

"Mai!"

Her nurse stood there wearing actual clothes instead of the blue scrubs and white sweater Emily was used to seeing. She wore a pair of dark blue jeans, a light pink sweater and a gold chain around her neck. Her dark hair was down instead of pulled up in a clip like usual.

"What are you doing here?"

"JJ decided to give you a surprise baby shower."

"Surprise!" Garcia yelled with the rest of the group. Will covered his ears and Henry giggled at all of them.

"What about me." Another voice had Emily's head turning toward the living room.

Jordan Todd stepped around JJ and hugged Emily. "You look great!" She said looking over Emily's yellow maternity tee that had one sleeping bunny rabbit on the front. Emily also wore white stretch pants and white sneakers.

"Jordan! How are things in anti-terrorism?"

"Great… Not as exciting as the BAU, but at least I'm not looking at dead bodies all day long. I don't know how you guys do it."

"On that note, I'm going to take Henry to the park while you ladies have your lunch." Will said, putting Henry in his stroller.

"Coward…" JJ said good-naturedly."

"You bet," He agreed.

She kissed him goodbye. He left pushing Henry with the little dog following on a leash.

"Come on," JJ gestured to the women. "Lets go dig into the food."

----

"You didn't have to go to all this trouble." Emily said from her chair where JJ had put her threatening to call Spencer if she didn't sit still.

"Yes we did… Garcia told us that you had a party with your mother and all her stuffy friends last week. We thought you'd like a party with your best friends."

Emily laughed. "The party was pretty stuffy, but mom meant well. I got lots of great presents." She added slyly.

"I'll bet you did."

JJ and Mai came into the living room with a cake and a stack of gifts. They arranged the gifts on the table in front of Emily.

"You didn't have to do all this guys. Lunch would've been enough.""You always get gifts at a baby shower. Open mine first."

"You're so impatient Garcia."

"Mine's the best." The others laughed.

"I think the homemade croissants went to your head." JJ teased her friend.

"Who knew you could cook."

"I have many hidden talents."

"I made the cake." Mai piped up and they laughed.

"So, you're the one that helped our shy couple have a baby." Garcia turned to interrogate Mai who was sitting placidly in the chair next to Emily. "Yep… I told them to stop messing around and get busy but -"

Emily smacked Mai's arm. "Shut up!"

Mai smiled and it reminded Emily of Sophie for some reason.

"Well… You two were pretty pathetic."

"Mai!"

"It's true!" Garcia piped up. "You guys mooned around each other for years."

"They've been acting this way for years." Mai said in disbelief.

"_NO!" _

"Yes you have… Ever since Reid got kidnapped and tortured by this maniac." Garcia went on ignoring Emily's murderous look.

"That's not true. I was new on the team. I didn't even know him." Emily tried to shout them down.

"Whatever, don't listen to her. They're both in major denial."

"Garcia, I want presents." Emily reached out and plucked the first one from the pile.

"Don't try to distract us honey."

"Yeah, I want to hear all about this saga from someone that isn't you."

"There's nothing to tell Mai. These two are delusional."

"I might believe that if I hadn't seen it for myself."

The three women stared to her down till her cheeks got hot. "Okay, So I might have noticed him a while ago, but it wasn't when these two idiots said it was." "So when was it."

"We had this case in Colorado where a religious fanatic was living on a commune and he was marrying these underage girls. He was a real wacko. Emily and Reid went in undercover and there was a raid by the state police. Then some jackass reporter told everyone that there was an FBI agent in there. So Emily here steps up and tells this wacko religious leader that she's the FBI agent and took a real beating from the guy." Garcia said, before Emily could speak."It looked a lot worse than it was." Emily protested as Mai eyed her with a new respect. "It was nothing."

"Don't listen to her. She had a couple cracked ribs, and her face looked like she got run over by a car."

"It wasn't that bad!"

"I know my sweet boy and he was completely freaked for a long time." Garcia went on relentlessly.

"That explains a lot," Mai interjected.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You took a beating for him."

"So?"

"Why did you do it? You could have let him say he was the agent." JJ said.

"I didn't want him to get hurt again okay."

"We're not trying to hurt your feelings honey." Garcia said.

"Yeah, we just want you to be happy." JJ agreed

"I want her to get busy with the smoking hot doctor." Mai interrupted, sending them all into gales of laughter.

"That's it… I'm going to call a cab." Emily struggled to get out of the chair.

Garcia had no trouble pushing her back into her chair. "You have presents to open."

"We're sorry," JJ said.

"Dr. Reid makes you happy. I see it in your face every time you come in for an appointment."

"Mai!" Her face was burning again.

"Open your presents and stop pouting."

"Yes ma'am…" Emily threw a salute to Garcia.

The first gift was a square box about the size of a clothing gift box. It was wrapped in bright yellow paper with red, purple, blue and green balloons all over it. It had been in the back seat of Esther the last time she'd seen it.

She ripped the paper off with an enthusiasm that had all the girls laughing. "Garcia… What did you do?"

She pulled a small lap top computer out of the box. She opened it and saw a note taped to the screen. "Turn me on," It said and she laughed.

Music began to play, and a voice said. "Welcome to the world baby Reid." as little bunnies and puppies crossed the screen and began playing with kittens that were in the middle of a green field with a blue sky.

"Thank you Penelope… How did you- never mind, I should now better than to ask how you do anything."

"I know it's a little old for the baby, but I figure if the little bambino or bambina is as smart as daddy…"

"Don't let Spencer hear you say that. It's his biggest fear in the world."

"Why?" Mai asked curiously.

"His father left when he was a little boy. His mother was ill while he was growing up. He went to school, but they fast tracked his education so he was in high school with teenagers when he was nine. He took a lot of bulling and beatings. There was an incident when he was in high school that left major scars. He's terrified of his child going through the same thing."

"That's not going to happen to my little baby sweet pea." Garcia declared and the others grinned at her.

"_No_, it's not going to happen." Emily agreed. "I won't allow it. Besides, Spencer already looked into schools around here for gifted kids."

"I'm not surprised." JJ said as she passed another gift to Emily.

"That's so sweet. I wish I had a guy like him." Mai groaned. "Are you sure he doesn't have a brother or a cousin?"

"Nope… There's only one Spencer Reid and he's all mine." Emily missed the smirks on the girls' faces as she ripped into another gift.

It was a hand knitted blanket made from yellow and white yarn that was worked into an elaborate starburst pattern. It was soft enough to lull the most stubborn baby into dreamland. Under the blanket were a few onesies with little black and white puppies all over them. There were tiny little white socks and a sleeper that was white with little kittens sleeping on the front.

"They're so cute!" Emily exclaimed, laying the blanket against her cheek.

"I made the blanket." Mai said.

"It's beautiful. Thank you so much."

"Now mine," JJ passed a gift bag to her friend with a very excited expression on her face.

The bag was rose colored with little cherub angels all over it and a pink lace handle. Emily pulled out the white tissue paper and lifted out a box that contained a mobile inside when she opened it. The mobile was a miniature model of the solar system with stars, all eight planets and even brave little Pluto who'd been downgraded to a dwarf planet. On the top of the mobile was a beautiful angel with dark brown hair and dark eyes. She seemed to be looking down over the planets and the stars as though watching out for them and the baby that would sleep under it."

"JJ… I don't know what to say."

"You can plug it in and it will move and light up with tiny little lights in the stars."

"Spencer is going to love this. I can just picture him standing over the cradle, lecturing the baby on the solar system." They all laughed while Jordan went to get her gift.

"What did you do?" Emily asked suspiciously as her friend pushed a large box over to her.

"I never get to spoil any kids. I was an only child, so I don't have any nieces or nephews. I haven't found the right guy so I don't have any kids. In fact, I have a bone to pick with you Emily."

"What!" Emily asked cautiously as she pulled the pink wrapping paper off the box.

"You said that JJ had snagged the last viable donor. You remember that?"

"Yeah…" She used the box cutter JJ passed her to open the large cardboard box.

"You lied… You're the one that got the last viable donor."

There was a silence for a moment, then they all burst into laughter as Emily looked down at the car seat in the box.

"You shouldn't have," Emily said sounding a bit choked up.

There were bottles, a rattle, some little bibs and more onesies that were white and yellow with ducks all over them. A gift card to Babies Inc. and a gift card for Bed, Bath and Beyond were in an envelope inside a congratulatory card.

"I thought you could use some pampering too. After the baby gets here, we're going to leave him or her with daddy and have a day of shopping and pampering for you."

"Yay shopping?" Garcia said pushing her fist into the air.

"What's wrong Emily you look pensive."

"I'm trying to imagine Spencer alone with the baby."

They all laughed so hard that JJ almost fell off the sofa.

"Yeah, I want to see that too." JJ agreed through the tears that had followed the laughter.

"Me too," Garcia agreed.

"We shouldn't tease him when he's not here to defend himself." Emily decided.

They all looked at each other. "Nah…" Garcia said. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Amid the laughter that followed Garcia began to cut the cake and distribute it around to the others.

"This is the best chocolate cake I've ever tasted." Emily sighed after devouring two big pieces.

"Yeah… What's your secret?" JJ asked.

"Sour cream in the mix. It makes it light and fluffy."

"Wow… I wouldn't have thought of that."

They talked and laughed for another hour. When Emily began to yawn, Garcia insisted on taking her home and carrying up her gifts to the brownstone.

"Thanks Garcia… I can't believe you did all that for me." Tears that she'd been holding back all day came in a flood.

"Hey… What's with the water works my beauty?"

"Damn hormones," Emily said with a sigh.

"Go lay down… I'm going to see what Helga left for dinner."

"Okay," She was too tired to argue.

Garcia put a blanket over her after she sacked out on the couch. The kitchen smelled of onions, and sizzling meat. The oven was on warm with some kind of casserole. She took it out and prepared a plate that Emily could heat in the microwave. She put the rest away in the fridge and took a walk through the rest of the apartment checking the windows and locking the balcony door.

She left the brownstone, locking the door after her. Her phone rang just as she got to Esther.

"_Hey baby girl!" _

"Did you do it gorgeous?"

"_Yep… Everything's ready to go. Two weeks is cutting it close, but everyone's on board. "_

"I knew you could pull it off, stud."

"_You better believe it!"_

"Does Reid know?"

"_No, Hotch is taking care of that part."_

"Good… I can't wait to see the looks on their faces. You did good handsome."

"_Why do you say that like it's such a big surprise?" _

"Stop pouting G-Man."

He laughed_. "Take care mama." _

She hung up on him and got into Esther. She could hardly wait till her friends saw what they had planned for them.


	35. Chapter 35

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

Reid woke abruptly to find that he was lying on his stomach with his left arm trapped under his body. Something was pounding and he thought it might be his head. He swallowed past the gunk in his throat and tried to sit up.

The knocking continued and was followed by an annoyed voice. "Reid! It's ten am. Open the door before someone calls the cops."

_What was Hotch doing at his door at this hour on a Sunday morning?_

He stood up on unsteady feet and rubbed at his left arm that was completely numb from being trapped under his body.

He ran a hand through his hair and kept shaking his left arm to restore the circulation. Little pins and needles began shooting through his arm as he entered the living room.

"Ow…" He opened and closed his hand.

"Reid! Open the door."

Reid muttered something that sounded a lot like "I'm coming," or it could have been "F-off," who knew for sure.

At least Hotch wouldn't hear him, he hoped, as he stumbled over his messenger bag. "Damn it…"

"Are you alright Reid?"

"I was until you decided to knock on my door." He muttered under his breath.

His boss stood with his trademark scowl in place when Reid finally opened the door. The fact that the SAC was wearing blue jeans, a dark green tee shirt topped with a dark brown leather jacket didn't penetrate Reid's haze until he'd invited the older agent into his apartment.

"You look like hell Reid."

Reid gaped at the suit-less and tie-less Hotch. Perhaps this was a nightmare and the universe would return to normal if he could just wake up.

"Reid!"

"Um… yeah Hotch. Ah… Do we have a case?"

"No, but you will need your 'go' bag."

Reid stood there staring at his boss. It would all come clear soon. He just knew it. "I don't understand sir."

"Did something happen that I need to know about?"

"No! I mean I was up late last might talking to Emily."

"Oh…"

Instead of going to get his 'go' bag, Reid took a seat on his couch that was an ugly red vinyl with holes in the arms.

Hotch found a place on the easy chair, which was an eye searing orange and green plaid that was threadbare and falling apart.

"She um… she showed up here crying last night at midnight. I didn't know what to do." Reid blurted out.

"What did she want?"

"She was pissed at me because she's three days over her due date. The doctor has her scheduled to go in to induce labor tomorrow if she doesn't start on her own. She seemed to think the whole thing was my fault."

"Women have a tendency to blame us for everything when they're pregnant. It's normal."

"I didn't know what to do." Reid repeated. "She came all the way over here when I specifically told her not to drive."

Hotch's eyebrows went up his forehead. "You told Emily Prentiss what to do?"

When the young man in front of him only looked confused, Hotch stood up. "Go get your bag. Morgan and Garcia were right. You two need a small vacation."

"But she has to go to the hospital tomorrow and -"

"One day isn't going to make a difference. Garcia already talked to Mai, who got the okay from Emily's doctor. Come along with me." Reid hadn't got up so his boss slung an arm around his shoulders. He squeezed them in such a way that Reid knew there was no way to escape.

---

"Where are we going?"

Emily felt as though she'd just repeated the day of the baby shower down to the last bump in the road.

"I told you it was a surprise."

"Why are we headed toward my mother's house?" Emily asked as some of the biggest estates in Virginia passed by her eyes.

"Don't worry about it."

"The last time someone said that to me, I ended up pregnant."

"That's your fault. You're the one that insisted on artificial insemination. If you'd come to me…"

"Alright! I should have consulted the goddess of everything."

"I keep telling you people that worship of me is the only way to happiness."

Emily reached over and smacked her friend upside her head.

"Hey"

"I'm getting sound proof my walls and a door." She threatened. "So that when you decide to come over unannounced, I can ignore you."

"No you won't. You like these little outings with me." Garcia said confidently as they turned into the drive at her mother's house.

"What are we doing? Why can't you just ask me to go somewhere with you, instead of just showing up on my doorstep?"

"Now where's the fun in that?"

Garcia pulled up to a huge wrought iron gate and beeped her horn. The small grey haired man that limped out was a fixture at her mother's house.

"Miss Emily!" He spoke with a voice that sounded like a gate desperately in need of oil.

He bowed in her direction and Garcia giggled. "Stop it." Emily hissed through a mouth that smiled hugely at the small man.

"How are you Avery?"

The small man had come to her door and was beaming at her like the sun. "I'm very well Miss Emily. You may go in."

He said it as though bestowing a great favor and Garcia howled with laughter once the gate had slowly swung open so Emily could see the big house.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to get out my gun?"

"Just wait!"

The car passed the huge marble stone home and continued around to the back. The estate continued into a grove of elms and pines before opening up on a small cottage that was made from the same stone as the house.

"Why are we at my mother's guest house?"

"You're going to stay here." Garcia said.

"What? Have you lost your mind?"

"It was your mother's idea."

"What?"

"We're all concerned for you honey. We know how hard this pregnancy has been on you. You're starting to go nuts because you're late. Your mother noticed and so we collaborated on this mini vacation. She promises to leave you and Dr. Reid alone. She made you a great lunch and we're taking care of dinner. You can relax for a night before you go into the hospital."

"But the cottage only has one bedroom."

"I know!"

"Garcia!"

Her friend parked the car in front of a tiny replica of the home Emily had grown up in. Garcia got out of the car and grabbed her large red tote and Emily's bag.

"Garcia!"

"Come on!" Her friend left her sitting there as she took the bags into the French doors at the front of the house.

Well… She could sit there and whine or she could be appreciative of her friends. After all, she'd loved the guest cottage as a child. She threw up her hands and got out of the car.

"This is your fault." She scolded the baby. "If you weren't so stubborn." "I wonder where the baby could've got that quality," Hotch said from behind her.

She hadn't heard any vehicles pull up behind her. Reid gave her a small wave and a look that pleaded with her to believe that he wasn't in on this ruse.

"I don't know what you're talking about Hotch."

Hotch smiled and it was a bit like watching a shark smile. "I'm sure you don't," He agreed.

"Can we just go inside?"

JJ was in the living room when they came into the cottage. The small room was nothing like her mother's marble and glass home. The carpet was a light blue-grey color that matched the paint on the walls. It was a cool and soothing color that went well with the dark blue suede love seat and couch. A small television was mounted to the wall in front of the love seat. A glider rocker, much like the one Emily had, stood off to one side of the couch. There were three pictures on the wall in black and white. They were photographs of different lighthouse views on the Maine coastline.

"This is a great room." JJ said looking around with rapturous eyes.

"Wait till you see the bedroom." Garcia said, coming out of the kitchen with Morgan.

They both chuckled as Reid went scarlet. "There will be no tours. Everyone get out now." Emily ordered.

"But your mother's housekeeper made lunch and it smells good." Morgan complained.

"Too bad for you. You people dragged us all out here. I'm sure you can find someplace that serves lunch on Sunday."

"But -"

"Leave them alone." Hotch said. "That was the idea." His stern glower was back and he looked like Emily's boss again; for that, she was grateful.

"We'll go after I give this to Reid," Morgan said coming out of the hallway that led to the only bedroom. He winked at Reid and pulled an envelope out of his pocket.

"What's this?"

"It's the final paper work for the house. You two wouldn't let me just give it to you so you have to sign this stuff."

"Morgan," Reid said with a great deal of exasperation. "You gave us the house for less then half of what it's worth, stop complaining."

"Yeah, you fixed it up great. You're not going to make any money on your investment." Emily agreed.

"That's not the point… You two shouldn't have a mortgage to weigh you down."

"Actually, a mortgage helps your overall credit score. It shows financial instability to other creditors when you apply for a credit card, or buy a car."

"Alright Mr. Financial Advisor, we get it." Morgan interrupted. "Doesn't that drive you crazy," He asked Emily.

"Nope… I happen to like his babbling. If you'd stop and listen for a couple of seconds instead of teasing him all the time you might learn something."

Garcia high-fived her while the others laughed, except for Hotch.

"All right, let's leave these two alone.

They left meekly in the wake of Hotch's glare. He smiled at Emily and Spencer as soon as the others left, and Emily's world felt snapped out of place again.

"Sorry about that," He said. "I hope you guys aren't mad."

Emily and Spencer looked at each other.

"I didn't think you were. Just remember that they did this because they care about you. I trust you can get Emily to the hospital tomorrow." He said to Reid.

"Yeah…"

"Okay… Call me when it's all over." He said to Emily.

---

"What are you thinking?"

"That this chicken soup is the best I've ever had." Reid said. "Your mom's housekeeper is a great cook."

"Actually, she has her own chef. His name is Lawrence. He travels with her. She thinks he's the best thing since the advent of the microchip. She says he's the reason she keeps her figure."

"I don't have any complaints." Reid said around a mouthful of potato salad.

"Yeah… He's pretty good. So what were you really thinking?"

He went pink in the cheeks. "I was thinking that I hoped you weren't mad that the team put all this together."

"Why should I be mad? It's not your fault and I'm actually glad to get out of the apartment."

"What's wrong?" He probed.

"Nothing!"

"You came to my place last night and kept me up talking till three this morning." He yawned. "I know it wasn't just that you were upset about the baby being late."

Emily shoved up out of her chair. "Can we go sit down in the living room?"

"Sure," He followed her into the little blue room he was starting to think of as the living room.

"So, what's wrong?"

She clasped his hand tightly. "I thought I was over losing my baby all those years ago."

"You have to stop blaming yourself." His large eyes were filled with concern that made her want to cry.

"I can't help it. It's like the closer it gets to delivering the baby, the more afraid I get."

He wiped away the tear that was crawling down her face with one long finger. "Nothing is going to happen to our baby because I won't let it."

"But -"

"You've had the best care for your whole pregnancy. You've taken great care of yourself. I looked it up and Dr. Kelly has delivered two hundred and sixty-eight babies. The mortality rate for him is less than one percent. It's the best rate on the Eastern Seaboard. Everything is going to be okay."

"Why are you so calm? I thought you'd be freaking out by now."

"Because I love you and the baby. I just know everything is going to be alright."

"That's a very unscientific answer Dr. Reid."

He put an arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Sometimes you have to believe in something bigger than science. Some people think that what we do every day is one step away from witchcraft."

Emily laughed.

"What's so funny?" He wondered.

"Five hundred years ago we would've been burned at the stake."

"True…"

They sat in a comfortable silence that stretched out for long moments, which passed like pearls being strung on a silken cord until Emily broke the quiet.

"Spencer…"

"Hm…"

"If you came with Hotch, and Garcia brought me here, how are we getting to the hospital tomorrow?"

"Don't worry, I brought my car. It's out front."

"Oh good, did you hear that little one? We get to depend on your father's ancient Volvo for transportation." She looked down at her stomach while talking.

"That car is in great shape. When will you believe it?"

"I'm just teasing you baby."

"Oh… Well um," He bent down to her stomach. "See, your mother is a smart ass. You'll have to get used to that."

"Stop it." She smacked the back of his head.

"I'm going to go clean up lunch."

"Hurry back," She let go of his hand. "I like this relaxation plan." She winked at him and he went pink in the cheeks.

"Okay…"

He hurried out of the room. "See, Daddy is the best. You need to come out of there so you can find that out for yourself." She told her belly.

The baby kicked her in the ribs.

"Great, stubborn and a smart ass," She said. "I guess my mother telling me that she wished I had a kid just like me is coming true."

The baby didn't reply with a kick.

"Let's just enjoy the day. We're going to have a very long day tomorrow.

She sat back and looked out the window that sparkled in the sunlight. Someone had cracked it open a bit and a cool breeze made the white muslin curtains dance. Tomorrow was going to be painful, but today she'd try not to think about it.


	36. Chapter 36

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and the first chapter.**_

"I can't believe they did all this for us." Emily said, breaking the silence between them that had been so calming.

"I think it was Garcia's idea, but Hotch was all for it too."

"We'll have to do something to thank them after the baby comes."

"Don't worry about that now." His hand was stroking the side of her face, sending little chills down her back.

"So what should we do now?" She shifted in his arms so that she could see his face.

"How about a nap? I'm beat and I want to try out that big California King in the bedroom. Garcia said that your mother told JJ it was one of those neat gel beds." Reid said very excitedly.

"Spencer…"

"I promise I won't try anything. It's big enough that we can both sleep there and not even touch each other."

She pulled out of his arms and struggled to her feet. She hurried away from him as fast as she could move to the French doors. It didn't help. There was nowhere left to run.

"Emily? Did I say something wrong?" He laid a hand on her arm.

"No!"

"_Yes I did. I'm sorry I -"_

"_It's not you. I'm the one that messed everything up."_

"I don't understand." His hands touched her shoulders and more little tingles went down her spine.

"A couple of months ago…you wanted us to… Um, well I wasn't very understanding. Since then, you've kissed me, but you never do more than that. I know I haven't been very encouraging. I guess I just didn't know what to say or… God, listen to me, the so-called profiler that used to be so sure of herself. Now I just feel like my hormones have leached away what's left of my brain."

"I love you Emily." His warm breath on her neck intensified the chills down her neck. "I'm sorry if I pressured you." He continued. "I'm going to love you all my life, whether or not we make love tonight."

"Spencer…"

"I don't want to make you feel like you have to have sex with me. I can wait till after the baby's born."

She turned around and gave him a big smile. "You're willing to wait three more months or maybe even more."

He gulped and she laughed. "Sex isn't the most important aspect in a relationship." He went on in a squeak. "A relationship built on trust and mutual respect is the way to make it last for a lifetime. Having something in common with your spouse or lover is more important than being sexually compatible. How can you grow old together if you don't have any common interest outside the bedroom?"

"That's all well and good Dr. Reid, but wouldn't you rather I did this instead?"

Her hands reached up and twined around his neck. Her fingers in his hair made him shiver as if he'd been outside in the snow for too long on a winter's day. "Emily…" "Spencer?"

"What?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

He kissed her. Her mouth opened for him as soon as his lips touched hers. A jolt of electricity warmed his body as if he'd come in out of that cold and snowy day to a warm fire. The fire expanded in his belly as her tongue licked over his. For the second time in months, his brain shut down with her. This time he didn't want it to stop.

His hand pushed up the dark purple maternity blouse she wore and skimmed over her belly. Her skin was warm and soft to the touch of his fingertips. The fire burned hotter in his belly and expanded to his groin. He barely heard the moans coming from his mouth. His fingers reached around to unclasp the black lace bra she wore.

Emily groaned and broke off the kiss, gasping for air as the baby kicked her hard. "Spencer…"

"What?"

His fingers found one breast and caressed it, hardening the nipple and making her gasp. "Spencer…"

"Hm…"

"Bedroom!"

He pulled away from her warmth but the sensation of fire that still grew in his belly and groin. "Are you sure?"

"Stop now and I'll kill you. No one will ever find the body." She said breathlessly.

"How do we?"

"You're the physics magician. I'm sure you'll think of something."

----

The fiery need that had been straining to break free for months astounded him. He had practically ripped her clothes from her body. Now he stared at the woman that seemed made for him every time he saw her and his heart wanted to burst from his ribcage like a frightened bird.

"My God… You're so beautiful!"

Scarlet color rushed into her face. "I feel like a pregnant whale. My ankles are swollen and I have stretch marks on my stretch marks."

He pulled her into his arms so he could whisper in her ear. "You take my breath away." His hands slid down her back, forcing goose bumps to jump out all over her body.

"You make my legs go to jelly every time you look at me." His mouth trailed from the lobe of her ear to base of her neck.

"Spencer…" Her breath stumbled over him name.

"I've wanted you for so long." Long fingers found their way to a warm breast and caressed it with a feather like stroke that made her groan wordlessly.

"I don't want to hurt you or the baby." He said through instincts that were taking over his rational mind.

"You have too many clothes on." She pointed out. "Let's see what we can do about that. "

She had already removed his sweater vest and his slacks. Her fingers whispered over the cotton of his shirt and began opening the buttons.

"It's okay to stop." He continued as she pushed his shirt off his shoulders.

"What did I tell you in the kitchen?"

"That you'd kill me if I stopped and no one would ever find my body," he repeated squeaking as she dipped her hands into his boxes and slipped them off.

"Very good Dr. Reid, just because I feel like a whale, doesn't mean I don't want you."

"Um… Okay," He stuttered.

The sheets on the bed were light yellow and cool to the touch as she tried to slip into them with some grace. She watched as Spencer went around to the other side of the bed.

One hand trembled as he moved close enough to reach out and touch her face. His fingers moved with so much gentleness that tears began sliding down her face.

"Emily?"

"I don't deserve the happiness you give me every day." Her breath hitched in and out of her throat as she spoke.

"Don't say that," He pleaded. "You're so kind and giving. You deserve to be happy."

When he took her face in his hands and kissed her, more tears fell silently as fear, self-doubt began to melt away, and happiness took their place.

She tried so hard to keep control of the tears, but every touch, every kiss and every gentle rocking motion kept them flowing until their bodies finally joined.

He was very quiet, while she was the vocal one, giving voice to release when it bloomed over her in a moment that was almost volcanic in its intensity. Then, as she came down the other side, he cried out her name once, like a prayer.

-----

She looked at the clock on the bedside table. Spencer was lying on his side facing her, fast asleep. His wavy, beautiful hair was mussed and hanging in his face. The sunlight in the late afternoon sky made the room glow like something unearthly.

She was lying on her right side facing Spencer. The lingering sensation of his hands on her body and the way he had kissed every inch of her skin was still coursing through her like a strong adrenaline high.

"Hey Spence…"

"Hm…"

"Wake up and look at me!"

One eye opened and looked up at her. "Are you okay?" His serious tone was so cute and it set a different kind of warmth off in her belly.

"Yeah… I'm fine. Don't worry about me. It was the most wonderful thing I've ever imagined. You're a genius in more ways than one."

He went bright red in the low light of the late afternoon. "Really!" He squeaked.

"Oh yeah Spence…" She said in that breathy tone she'd used when she'd climaxed. "I love you!"

"I love you too…"

A pain lanced across her belly and through to her back. She groaned and jerked in his arms.

"Emily!"

"It's okay. It's just a pain."

"_A pain._ As in _labor. _You're three days overdue and -"

"It was a pain. I've been having false labor on and off for weeks now. I'm sure that's more of the same."

"Still… It's five twenty three right now. I'm going to time the contractions."

"Spencer!"

"I just want to be sure. Sex can bring on labor."

"That's a nice thought!"

"I never want to hurt you."

"I know that," She struggled to move closer to him.

They spent half an hour talking quietly to each other while the shadows shortened in the room

A sudden thought made her sit up. She nearly cracked heads with him. "Sorry…" She laughed as he ducked out of her way. "I just thought of something. Tomorrow is your birthday! I can't believe no one remembered. How insensitive is that?"

"It's okay… I don't care."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

She smacked his shoulder. "You know what I mean. You act as if you belong in the background, forgotten and left behind. Why do you do that?"

"Emily… It's just a birthday. It's not that important!"

"You're so frustrating. Birthdays are a big deal. I'm just sorry you have to share it with the baby."

"I don't mind. I think it's going to be neat." He said eagerly and his eyes smiled down at her.

"You might not mind it, but I think the baby will."

"Why?" He looked completely perplexed.

"Because when that baby is sixteen you're going to be about forty-four. Who wants to share their sixteenth birthday with a middle aged parent?"

"Oh… I didn't think about that."

"Don't worry… I'm going to make sure you both feel special on your birthday."

He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Get your brain out of your pants." She warned.

"I don't have pants on right now."

"That's very cute Dr. Reid."

"It's also very accurate."

"Why do I try?"

"I don't know," He pulled her down and kissed her hard on the mouth.

"Hm… You know how to make my head fuzzy."

"I do?"

"Yeah… I think -"

Another pain radiated out from her back and she hissed loudly through her teeth. "Wow… that wasn't fun." She tried to smile at him.

"I think we should go to the hospital."

"No! I looked at the clock, it's been thirty-five minutes since the last pain. We've got a long way to go and I'm not going until I have to!"

"Emily, _please_!" His large eyes pleaded with her. He looked like someone had kicked his puppy, in front of him.

"Your eyes won't get you what you want this time."

"Emily… You were so freaked out yesterday. Why are you so calm now?"

"I'm still scared, but I can't let it get to me. I have to be calm about this our we'll both go crazy.

"But Emily…."

"I'll make a deal with you."

"What?"

His voice was muffled by the sheets he'd pulled up over his head.

"Get out from under there." She yanked the sheets back down to his waist. "I promise when we get to fifteen minutes apart, we'll go. It could take hours, baby. I just want to stay here with you for a while. Ok?"

"Alright…"

"Thank you!" She kissed him on the edge of his jaw.

"I'm not going to forget."

She kissed his neck.

"Emily, it won't work."

She kissed his chest.

"I refuse to be distracted."

She kissed his belly right above the navel.

"You're in labor!" He squeaked.

"But you're not!"

She ducked under the sheets and for him, time stood still.


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: see my profile**

**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**

_She didn't look like herself anymore. Her body was distorted and pulled into a shape that was ugly and bloated. She let one hand run down over her abdomen. Maybe if she closed her eyes, she would be able to see herself as she was just months ago. She squeezed her eyes shut and tired to remember the dresses, pants and shorts she had been able to wear that showed off a decent body. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than the mess she was now. Opening her eyes and staring at the dark circles under them didn't help. Nothing had changed; she was still as big as a whale. _

_When was it going to be over? She felt another pain lance through the mid section to her back. She winced and tried not to cry out. Her mother was very angry with her. If she started screaming in pain, her mother would start lecturing her again. _

_Tears rolled down her face. No one would ever love her. Raul hadn't loved her. He had lied to her to get her to have sex with him. He was much older, and already engaged to someone else, when he'd seduced her. _

_More tears fell and another pain radiated through her body. She could not help it. She had to scream. _

"_Help me… There's something wrong." _

_Someone stood in the doorway. She couldn't see who it was because the figure was outlined in brilliant light that hurt her eyes. _

"_Help me…" _

_She tried to crawl across the floor, but the pain was too much. _

"_I can't help you Emily. The baby is dead." _

"_NO! Why are you saying that?" _

"_There's nothing that can be done. You sealed his fate when you didn't take care of him." _

"_No! I went to the doctor and he said that -"_

"_You went because your mother found out and made you go. It was already too late. Our precious baby is dead and it's your fault._

"_No!" _

_The figure steeped into the light. It was Spencer… He looked like a radiant angel as he knelt in front of her. A golden glow surrounded his face and hair as though her were lit from within by fire. His eyes looked into hers and were full of sadness. He reached out to touch her, but his fingers didn't make contact with her skin. _

"_He's gone Emily. _

"_No!"_

_He stood up and backed away from her. "He's gone Emily… He's gone…_

"_NO! Spencer why are you saying that." _

"_Our baby is gone Emily… It's your fault." _

"_NO! Spencer, don't leave me… You have to help me." _

"_Emily… I'm here Emily." _

_His voice was strong in her ears. He didn't sound sad anymore. He sounded terrified. _

"_Spencer?"_

"_Wake up Emily!" _

Who was it that was holding her in their arms? The dream suddenly broke apart like ice in spring thaw. She opened her eyes and he was there, still looking like an angel fallen from heaven.

"Emily… I'm here, wake up!"

_Spencer! What was he doing there? She could smell the scent that was unique to him and always made her think of love. _

"Spencer?"

"Shh… I'm here Emily. You were dreaming, but it's over now." He stroked her hair back out of her eyes. She could feel how his hand trembled and her heart hurt.

There was a pain in her back again. It felt like it was getting stronger and stronger. "We have to go! " She pulled out of his arms even though he held her tight.

"Emily…"

"We have to go!"

There was something wrong! She could feel it in her heart. No! She couldn't lose this baby. She loved it beyond reason; beyond was known in her head, beyond what could be seen with her eyes. It didn't matter that this child hadn't been conceived in the natural way. Love had brought about this life inside of her. Reid's love had made this happen, even if it wasn't through the physical act of love. She had to save this baby because if she didn't there would be no saving for either her, or Spencer.

"Emily! Stop it, you're scaring me." His voice pushed impatiently into her thoughts.

She'd struggled out of bed and to her feet. Her outfit from that day was strewn over the floor.

"Reid! Help me please."

"Emily… He slid out of the bed and grabbed his white cotton boxers.

"We have to go now. If we don't something really bad is going to happen."

"There's only been eighteen minutes since the last contraction."

"Do you think I care about that?" Emily screamed at him.

Her face was beginning to resemble a lobster after it was boiled.

"Calm down Emily. You had a nightmare and I'm concerned that you blood pressure -"

"Screw my blood pressure! Get your freaking clothes on and drive me to the hospital."

Instead, he pulled her into his arms and held on tight when she tried desperately to wiggle out of his grasp. She beat his arms with her fists. It hurt and he winced, but he held onto her until she broke down and sobbed.

"What's wrong?" He whispered.

"I'm scared… I had this dream and it was terrible. Our baby's going to die."

"No sweetheart. The baby is going to be just fine."

"How do you know? You don't know _everything_!"

He tried not to feel hurt at her biting words. She was trembling, and his heart was breaking to see how frightened she was. "Okay, we'll go to the hospital right now. It'll be okay."

She sagged against him and almost pushed him to the floor. He staggered but stayed upright. She was silent as he helped her get dressed. She didn't respond to anything he was saying and it was beginning to scare him.

"Emily… Please talk to me honey."

She sniffed and looked up at him with bloodshot and puffy eyes. "I'm scared," She whispered. "I can't let it happen again. I'll die."

His heart went cold in his ribs. "I'm going to call Dr. Kelly. Please just sit there." He pushed her onto the bed. She didn't look at him or acknowledge what he said.

He picked up his slacks and fumbled his phone out of the pocket. He dialed the doctor's number and watched her as he waited for the phone to ring. This was his fault. If the baby died then it was his fault!

---

Garcia had kicked back with a pint of Cookies and Cream Ice Cream. 'Nine Months,' was playing on the television and it was just about to the part where both women are delivering at the same time. She laughed as the fathers fought over the use of a video camera while the bewildered doctor, played by Robin Williams, tried to deal with two screaming women.

Her phone rang and she hissed at the interruption. "What?" She barked into the phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Garcia…" A terrified voice squeaked over the phone.

"Reid!" She sat up straight, knocking the half-empty ice cream container to the carpet next to the couch.

Breathing rushed in and out of the phone as though he'd decided to prank calls her as a heavy breather. "Spencer! What's wrong?"

"Emily's in labor and she's completely freaked out." Garcia relaxed just a little. "Don't panic my gorgeous genius. Did you call her doctor? How far apart are the contractions?"

"I did all that. She thinks there's something wrong with the baby. It's really bad Garcia."

Something in his tone had her walking back to her room for her shoes. "What hospital baby cakes? I'll meet you there."

---

He got her into the car, which wasn't an easy task, as she'd stopped talking to him. She had cried until he thought she was going to be sick. Now, as he hurried into the very early morning, she was quiet. She had had another contraction just minute ago. She was down to seventeen minutes between contractions. It was almost one in the morning.

"Emily!"

She was staring out the window of the car. The doctor had said he would meet them at Georgetown University Hospital. He'd told Reid to bring Emily to the hospital and they'd see what needed to be done when they got there. He'd told Reid not to panic.

"Honey… Um… Please talk to me!" He begged. "You're scaring me!"

He couldn't see her face in the dark when he glanced over at her, but he could feel the stare. Then her head turned back to the black darkness.

The miles flew by the car and it seemed like hours had passed before they arrived at the entrance to the Women's Center at Georgetown University Hospital. "We're here," He said as they parked under one of the bright parking lot lights.

She stayed quiet until he went around to open the door. "I'm sorry Spencer." She whispered as he helped her out of the car.

"It's okay baby."

"No it's not. I'm so scared. I've been so mean to you. You'll stay with me, right."

"Yes, of course I'll stay with you. There's no other place I'd rather be."

He took her into the Women's center and got her checked in while she sat listlessly in a chair next to the nurse on duty. He answered all of their questions. He followed the nurse as she pushed wheelchair carrying the women he loved to her room.

"The doctor will be here very soon." The nurse assured them. "Why don't we get you comfortable?"

The nurse smiled at Reid who stood off to the side while she helped Emily get out of her clothes and into a hospital gown. He felt a bit better at the way Emily submitted to being taken care of by the nurse who was taller then both of them with black hair and bright green eyes.

"Just relax while I get the monitors hooked up for you and the baby. You'll feel better when you see that little heartbeat."

Reid certainly felt better when two heartbeats began tracing across the monitor. Emily groaned after another contraction and he hurried to her side. "See, the baby is okay." He pointed out the heartbeat to her.

"I know… I feel so stupid for panicking. You must hate me."

"No! I don't hate you."

He reached down to hug her and she clung to him as though a hurricane force wind might take him away from her.

"I'm so sorry for freaking out. I don't know what's wrong with me." She sobbed as they both watched the monitor.

"It's okay baby… I know this is hard for you. Everything is going to be different this time. You've had the best doctor and the best care. This hospital is one of the best in the country. It's a teaching hospital, so it has to be good. I'm here with you and I love you so much. I'm not going to go away."

"I know… I just…" She lifted her hands up and let them fall to back to the bed.

"You want this baby this time. That makes a difference."

She jerked away from him as if he'd spit in her face.

"I'm sorry!" He said quickly at the look on her face.

"No…" She whispered. "You know me better than I know myself. I could never say that I didn't want the baby I had as a kid, out loud. I thought it lots of times, but I couldn't say it out loud."

"Because you thought if you did, something bad would happen."

She nodded and reached for a tissue on the small table next to the bed. "Yeah… I just knew after the baby died that it was my fault for not wanting him."

"You know that's not true." He said, stroking her hair and relishing in the silky feel of it.

"I -" She gasped through another contraction. "I know it in my head, but I guess my heart doesn't know."

"I know my heart. It tells me that you're the best person I know. Our baby is going to be so lucky to have you as a mom. That has to mean something."

"It does…. I'm still scared."

"Me too…"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah… I'm terrified that I'm going to faint when its time."

Emily sniffed, laughed and then reached over to smack him on the arm.

"Seriously, I'm terrified that I'm going to mess up big time. I don't know how to be a dad! What if I'm like my dad."

Emily turned a black look on him that he'd only seen aimed at un-subs. "You are not going to be like your dad!" She insisted. "You are going to be the best father in the world because you care, because you're scared and because you're nothing like your father."

"You scare me when you get that tone in your voice." He said with a smile.

"Oh shut up!" She smacked him again. "I think we're a pair of idiots."

"I couldn't agree more." A voice said from behind them.


	38. Chapter 38

_**Disclaimer: See my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

Reid whipped around guiltily as though caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Garcia was standing there with a pink tote slung over her shoulder. She wore a pair of pink sweat pants and a yellow tee shirt with musical notes on the front. Her feet were encased in an ordinary pair of sneakers. Or, they would have been ordinary if not for the hot pink shoelaces against the white shoes.

"Um… H-hi Garcia," He squeaked.

"You might want to wipe that guilty look off your face." She advised him. He flushed bright red as she hugged him tight. "The cat's out of the bag." She reminded him. "You don't have to pretend anymore."

"What are you doing here?" Emily inquired.

"When the best looking genius in this half of the universe calls, I drop everything and come running."

"Garcia!" Reid squeaked again.

"I'm glad he called you."

Garcia bent down and hugged Emily carefully.

"So… Baby Reid's finally making an appearance." She clucked her tongue and shook her head as though she were severely disappointed in the fetus's behavior.

Emily laughed and Reid smiled in relief at his friend's mock outrage. At least the attention was off him for a minute.

"I scared him to death." Emily was saying.

_Well it looked like the attention was back on him!_

"I noticed…"

"I had a very realistic nightmare and freaked out at him."

"Poor baby…" Garcia threw an arm around Reid's shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Garcia!" He had regained his normal facial color but now it went scarlet.

"Ow…" Emily shouted.

"T-they're g-getting c-closer t-together." Reid stuttered.

"That's a good thing." Another voice said from behind him.

"Mai…" Emily exclaimed.

"Don't sound so surprised. Dr Kelly called me. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"I'm glad," Emily said through clenched teeth.

"Me too,' Reid gave her a shy wave.

"How are you?" Mai asked Emily.

"I'm just fine. I'm having a great time. There's nothing I'd rather be doing then enduring excruciating pain."

"Well, sarcasm is good." Mai responded.

"It's not sarcasm!"

"Okay… Why don't I just see how far you've progressed?" She reached over and snapped on a protective glove.

"That's our cue to leave." Garcia pulled Reid from the room. "We'll be back soon."

---

Garcia herded Reid down the hallway to the family waiting room. It was supposed to be a warm welcoming room with light yellow walls and furniture that was done in blues and greens. It reminded Reid of the ocean. He didn't find the décor at all soothing at that moment.

He went to the far end of the room and flopped down on one of the couches that also had some gold worked into the upholstery. The threads of implied sunshine held all of his attention.

"Okay Dr. Reid, spill it!"

"Spill what," He started to pick at the gold threads.

"You know what I'm talking about. Emily's too busy with labor or she'd be interrogating you too."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine… We'll do this the hard way."

He continued to avoid her eyes by staring up at a painting on the wall of green grassy hills, red tulips, and blue skies with white fluffy clouds.

Garcia stood watching him in silence for several minutes. His delicate hands were shaking. His face was white and his eyes were dark with suppressed worry.

The fact that he didn't so much as flinch when she decided to sit down next to him, scared her. She took his hand and squeezed it.

She waited.

"It's my f-fault." He stuttered in a small voice that belonged to a small child, not the man sitting next to her.

"What's your fault?"

"I did it." He insisted.

"What did you do?" She asked again.

"Emily's in pain because of me. She was so scared and it was my fault."

"Hey… Emily's a big girl. She's the one that wanted to have a baby. You guys didn't do things the old-fashioned way, but the result is the same. And it was a good result!"

"I didn't know when I agreed to this that she'd lost baby years ago. I would've said no if I'd known."

"Then you would've made a huge mistake."

"You didn't see her. She was terrified. You know Emily doesn't freak out easily." He squeaked. "I didn't know what to do or say to comfort her. What kind of man does that make me?"

"You're a special man, Dr Spencer Reid." She snapped back at him, matching his tone. "You're kind, and gentle, and loving. Emily loves you very much. She doesn't blame you for anything."

"But I -"

She clamped a hand over her friend's mouth. "You get to have the best gift anyone could get. You get to be a father. This baby is going to be fine. He or she is going to be beautiful, and smart and perfect. So stop blaming yourself this instant!"

His eyes were huge, but his face wasn't the ghostly pale that had scared her so badly. She moved her hand away from his mouth so he could speak.

"It's still my fault she's here tonight."

"Reid!"

"No! I don't mean that she's pregnant. I mean that she's in labor. She was supposed to come in and be induced tomorrow with drugs and the supervision of a doctor. Then we -"

He stopped and went beet red in the face.

"What happened baby cakes?"

"I can't tell you."

"Yes you can. You can trust me."

She crossed her heart and looked so innocent that he almost laughed.

"Um… I shouldn't tell you."

"Oh… I know that look."

Garcia hugged him before he could escape her grasp. "You guys finally did it. So how was it? Tell me everything." Her eyes were shinning like stars at him.

"I can't do that!" He exclaimed.

"I'm sorry baby cakes. I don't get why you're so upset."

"I know better Garcia. All the books say that intercourse can bring on labor. I pushed her into bed. This wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't mean to hurt the baby."

He tugged his hand out of her grasp and got up to pace the room.

"What if the baby has brain damage? What am I going to tell him or her? That daddy couldn't wait until they were born before getting into mama's pants."

"Hey… That's enough! You didn't do anything wrong. Did Emily say no at any time?"

"No… But I don't see how -"

"Shh… If she didn't say no then I don't see what's so bad about a little lovin'".

Reid laughed. "You sound like Morgan."

Garcia made a face and he felt his worries lighten a bit.

"Don't lump me in with him!"

She smiled and got up to hug him again. "Sorry," She apologized.

"I still don't think -"

"You know what?" She interrupted him again. "You think way too much. That's your biggest problem. Why don't you look at this logically and rationally, like a good genius?

There are lots of women that deliberately have sex to start labor. The babies turn out just fine. You know this; in fact, I bet you could quote me statistics about it."

He opened his mouth. Garcia held up a hand to stop the speech that was coming.

"I don't want to hear them sweet cheeks. I've just got one question. I assume everything went well for you two."

"I'm not answering that!"

"You don't have to baby cakes. Your eyes tell all."

"Are we done? I'm going back to Emily."

"I'm just teasing you handsome."

"I don't want the baby to be hurt." He stood just inside the doorway to the waiting room.

"I know that sweetie. Just think, in a few hours you're going to be a dad."

He gulped. "That's what scares me."

"Don't worry… You're going to be the best dad in the world."

Mai appeared in the hallway as they were leaving the waiting room. She wore a smile that made her eyes twinkle like stars.

"There you are!" Emily's asking for you."

"I-is she okay?"

"She's doing great. She's dilated to a four so we have a ways to go."

"Oh…"

"Well, don't just stand there Dad. Get in there." Mai pushed him in the direction of Emily's room.

Garcia watched him hurry off down the hall with a big smile.

"Why do you look so happy?" Mai wanted to know.

"Why don't you step into my office and I'll tell you."

---

Emily was staring at the door when Reid entered looking very guilty. "H-hi," He squeaked, giving her that little wave that always made her heart go to mush.

"I was wondering if you'd decided to skip out on me." She kidded.

"Um… I wouldn't… Y-you know I -"

"I know Spencer. I was kidding."

"Oh…" He stood there wringing his hands and looking very upset.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"Spencer!"

"Um… I was talking to Garcia. Um… Are you okay? Has the doctor come in?"

"Yeah… He was here a minute ago. I told him about last night."

"You _did_?" He squeaked, going red again.

"Well _yeah_… He asked me when the labor had started. He wanted to know what I'd eaten or if I'd done anything strenuous. So I told him."

"Um…"

"I didn't give him the gory details, Spence. Give me some credit!" She snapped and then groaned as another contraction hit."

"Oh… I'm sorry, I -"

"It's okay. Are you going to stand there or come closer? I won't bite."

He sat next to her bed and took her hand.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or do I have to get Garcia to erase your existence?"

"Really!"

"You didn't cause this or hurt the baby."

"How did -"

"I know how you think Spencer Reid. You blame yourself for everything. I may have been distracted by all my fears, but I know exactly what you're thinking. The doctor said I'm fine and so is the baby."

He reached out with a trembling hand and touched her stomach. "I love you both so much."

"We know that baby."

He smiled up at her and most of the guilt that had darkened his expression was gone.

"You're so sweet to worry like you do, but I'm fine. Soon we're going to be parents. Isn't that a kick in the pants?

He swallowed hard and she grinned up at him.

"Scary thought, isn't it."

"Yeah…"

"Did you call the others?" She asked.

"No… I can go now." He jumped up.

"No! Don't bother them till it's over."

"Okay!"

"Just sit here with me. I need you close to me."

"Alright."

She looked at him and began making a mental list of all the qualities she loved about him. His kindness, his beautiful face and his awe-inspiring mind were at the top of the list. Everything else was just icing on the cake for her.

"What are you thinking?" He said, bringing her back to reality.

"I was thinking about all the things I adore about you. I want the baby to be just like you."

"I want the baby to be like you." He insisted.

She bit back the urge to ask why because the sincerity in his eyes left no room for doubts.

"Maybe we should hope that he or she has our good qualities and not the bad."

"You've got a deal." He agreed. They shook on it solemnly and kissed to seal the deal.


	39. Chapter 39

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: see the first chapter and my profile**_

_**A/n alright everyone. You've waited so patiently. Here's the one you've all been waiting for. Please enjoy. **_

Fourteen hours after Emily's first contraction, Reid entered the delivery room. He was hot on Mai's heels after she'd got the word that it was nearly time.

The first thing he heard was Emily screaming. It was so loud he jumped and almost knocked over a tray of sterile instruments.

"There you are!" She was looking at him like she wanted to kill him where he stood. He thought she might just do it if she could get her hands on her gun. "Where have you been?"

"Um… I was -"

"Don't mind her," Mai interrupted him. "All women get abusive in transition."

_Right! _He remembered reading about it. Emily didn't mean what she was saying. If he smiled it would be okay.

He smiled, but it wasn't okay.

"Why are you grinning like an idiot?" Emily shouted. "Oh my God…" She screamed again, writhing on the hospital bed.

"Hasn't she had any drugs?" Reid said anxiously to Mai.

"She said she didn't want them."

_She didn't want them! _

"Okay…" He went closer to the bed even though every cell in his body wanted to run. "Um Emily… remember your breathing." He decided to pretend he couldn't see the look of death that had seemed to take up residence in her eyes.

"You think this is easy?" She shouted at him. "Why don't you try it?"

Reid looked toward the door of the delivery room. Maybe he could make a run for it. At least until Mai said it was okay to come back.

Someone patted him on the back. Mai was standing there looking at him with dancing eyes. "I wouldn't try to leave now if I were you. Don't worry, it won't be long now."

"Easy for you to say. " Emily growled at her.

"C-come on Emily. Watch your breathing. You gotta relax." Something from the Lamaze classes he'd attended with her stirred in his brain. He reached out and began massaging her abdomen in little circles.

"Keep it up Dr. Reid." Mai said as Dr. Kelly talked to Emily.

"You're fully dilated and one hundred percent effaced. I want you to push on the next contraction."

Reid took her hand. This proved to be a mistake as she nearly squeezed it into oblivion with the first push. Her scream scared the hell out of him_. Why hadn't she agreed to drugs? _

"Breathe," He said to her.

"This is your fault." She spat out at him.

"But -"

"Push…" The doctor ordered before Reid dug himself in even deeper with the angry mother-to-be.

"I am pushing." She yelled, turning her wrath on the doctor.

"Give her some help Dr. Reid."

He held her up and provided some much needed resistance for her pushing. "You're doing great," He dared to say.

She responded with a growl and three words that would have made hardened sailors blush. He decided to just keep repeating to himself that it wasn't personal.

She pushed for what seemed like hours. He held onto her and tried his best to be positive for her. The good thing was that she was beginning to get too tired to abuse him. The bad thing was that she was getting too tired to abuse him. His heart started thumping in his chest. She was past the average time it should have taken for the doctor to say he could see the head of the baby. _Maybe something was wrong! _

"I see the head!" Dr. Kelly called out. "Push Emily."

Relief flooded his body and made it difficult for him to hold her as his arms were trying to relax. They began to shake with effort as she screamed around the push.

"Good girl, now breathe and relax." The doctor said.

Reid breathed with her till the doctor said "The head's out, push!"

She pushed, and cried, and screamed till tears formed in Reid's eyes. He knew labor was hard, had read up on all the things that could go wrong, but was it supposed to be this hard?

"Good Emily, breathe…" Kelly repeated.

Emily collapsed against him breathing hard. Reid wished he could take away the pain. It just wasn't right that she had to go through all of this. It was so much different than what he'd seen on television or read about in books. This was the real thing and it was ripping his heart out.

"We've got shoulders," Kelly said. "One more push!"

"I can't!"

"You listen to me Emily Prentiss. You can do anything you want. I believe in you." Reid said.

She pushed. The scream that accompanied the last push was long and so loud, Reid was afraid she might rupture something.

A small wailing cry took the place of that scream when the doctor said. "It's okay Emily. The baby's here."

A strange sensation possessed Reid as everything seemed to speed up and slow down at the same time. Emily was crying. The baby was wailing indignantly as though someone had pinched it. The doctor was saying something to them. It was strange. Reid had suddenly lost the ability to think straight or understand the spoken word.

"Dr Reid! Did you hear me?"

The doctor was looking at him expectantly. All the air seemed to rush back into the room as though a vacuum had been breached around him.

The baby was still crying. Mai was looking at him with the same expectant look as the doctor. "Do you want to cut the cord?" Dr Kelly repeated.

Did he want to cut the cord? What did that mean? Oh yeah… Umbilical cord, baby, the two must part now that Emily had given birth. His baby had been born. He didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. He hadn't heard what the doctor had said.

"Yes!' He decided firmly.

So far he hadn't fainted. He could go up there and cut the cord. It was no problem. He went to the doctor and took the scissors from him. Wait! _Him. _He'd looked down and saw that the red, squalling infant was a boy. He had a son. A beautiful little boy with dark hair all over his head.

As he cut the cord where the doctor showed him, his world began to go hazy with tears as though he were underwater. His heart seemed to beat in slow motion. He was unable to speak as Mai placed the baby on Emily's chest.

He found that his feet wouldn't move in their direction. They seemed to be cemented to the floor. "Spencer!" Emily's tear filled voice pulled his eyes back to her face. "Come see your son."

His feet suddenly came free from being stuck to the floor. He went to the bed and looked down at the wailing baby. More tears spilled over his eyelashes to run down to his chin.

"I need to take him for a minute." Mai said, lifting the little boy from his mother.

Reid looked down at the woman he loved more than he thought he could love anyone. "Hey…" Was the only thing he could think to say.

"Hey yourself!"

There was something like rapture in her eyes that was taking the place of all the pain he'd seen. Her face was red, and her hair was plastered to her head with sweat. She was the most beautiful woman in the world.

"How are you?" He asked hesitantly.

She laughed. "Sorry if I scared you."

"It's okay."

"I feel wonderful, the best I've felt in forever. Thank you Spencer." She took his hand and squeezed it tight.

"W-what did I do?"

"You made our son possible." She reminded him. "I can't imagine how I lived before I had him or you in my life. I'm more blessed than I deserve."

"Hey mama and daddy… Here's your son." Mai had materialized next to Reid with the baby. "Seven pounds, eight ounces, twenty inches long. He's perfect."

"He looks like Spencer." Emily said.

Mai began to hand the baby to Emily. "Wait… Do you want to hold him?" She asked Reid.

"Um…" He looked at his son nestled in Mai's arms.

The little guy seemed to be happier now that he was cleaned up and wrapped tightly in a light blue blanket. He remembered that babies liked to be wrapped up. It made them feel secure. They also liked the heartbeat of their mother. Therefore, he should let Emily take the baby so he was happy.

Still, he longed to hold this tiny human who had hair the precise shade of Emily's. Reid noticed it was sprouting into curls the way his did when he got out of the shower and it was beginning to dry.

"Dr Reid?"

Mai held out the baby to him. He took the tiny creature, cradling his son's head in one hand. Something he'd never felt before washed over him like the waves of a warm ocean. All his life, he'd wished for something, or someone, to fill a gaping hole in his heart. That hole had begun to fill when Emily told him she loved him. The hole filled completely and closed when his son opened his eyes and fixed them for a brief second on Reid's face. In that split second, the feeling of someone else depending on him, exhilarated and terrified him at the same time.

"Spencer?"

He looked up at Emily, who had fresh tears in her eyes. He couldn't speak. He tried to open his mouth, but it seemed to be stuck shut.

"Happy Birthday Spencer." She said.

_Was it his birthday. Didn't she mean the baby? _

"It's not my birthday," He managed to say as he cuddled the baby close.

"Yes it is. It's October 21 2009. I was hoping our baby would be born tomorrow so you wouldn't have to share."

Tears leaked out of his eyes and fell onto the blanket. He adjusted the light blue cap on the baby's head so he didn't have to look at Emily.

"Thank you." He said. "This is the best birthday gift anyone has ever given me."

"Come on Dad." Mai said. "We need to take care of Emily. Why don't you go call the rest of your friends and family? Tell Garcia what's going on before she kicks your butt for forgetting her."

"Congratulations to you both." Dr. Kelly said.

"Thanks."

He gave the baby to Emily. She looked at their little man with joyful eyes. He kissed her and turned for the big double doors at one end of the room.

"Hey… What about a name?"

Reid looked at her for a minute. He'd forgotten about names. Then the perfect name occurred to him. "I think we should call him Aaron."

"Okay, but remember that I get to pick the middle name."

Trepidation crept into his heart. He wasn't sure he liked what he could see in Emily's eyes.

"I want to name him for his father. Since you won't let me give him Spencer as a first name, I want it to be his middle name."

"Emily."

"Don't "Emily" me… I won fair and square." She reminded him.

"Alright…"

She looked down at the baby, who'd turned into her chest. "Welcome to the world, Aaron Spencer Reid."


	40. Chapter 40

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter.**_

_**A/n hey all, just two more chapters after this. Thank you all for your great support of this story. I'm so overwhelmed by all the feedback. You guys are great. **_

It was five pm on October 21 just shy of 8 hours since Aaron Reid's birth. He lay in a bassinet next to one wall painted a dark steel blue. The pictures that adorned the walls were of happy park scenes with children playing and families picnicking together. The bed Emily slept on looked like a regular twin bed with dark blue sheets that had a gold stripe running along the edges. The bedspread matched down to the gold stripe. The head of the bed was raised, betraying where they were if anyone thought they were in a nice hotel. There were two end tables on opposite sides of the bed with regular squat looking lamps painted terracotta red topped with cream-colored pleated shades.

Scattered around the room were several helium filled balloons in the shapes of animals and clowns with the words "Congratulations," and "It's a boy," printed on their sides. They floated in the air as though pushed around by an invisible hand. Several gifts, including an elaborate hand knitted blanket from Garcia were stacked in a corner. Reid had Hotch's gift stuffed in his back pocket. His boss had bought the baby a CD that should net him a great start in life if they were smart. JJ, Will, and Henry had brought the new baby several outfits that Henry had outgrown. JJ had seemed happy that babies would wear the clothes that Henry had barely worn twice before getting too big for them. The best gift, in Reid's opinion, was Morgan's contribution which was a large collection of dinosaur figures that were too old for the baby to play with now, but Reid privately had decided that he would 'help' the baby play with them.

Reid was ensconced in an easy chair that resided in one corner of the room. His eyes were so heavy… It felt like there were ten-pound weights attached to his eyelids. His head snapped forward and he jerked his eyes open. He could go get more coffee, but it was so bad here. If he left, Aaron night need him. He needed to stay awake in case the baby needed him.

A small sound inserted itself into the hazy fog that had taken over his brain. It wasn't a cry, just a little squeak from his son. God… He couldn't get over the thought that he had a tiny little boy that depended on him.

Adrenaline pushed into his blood and gave him the strength to get up out of his chair and hurry to the small bassinet. The baby was squirming in his blanket. His dark brown eyes roamed all over, not really focusing on anything. He wore a light blue knitted cap on his head that hid his dark, wavy hair.

"Hey little man… "

His long fingered hands picked up his baby and held him close. The little snuffles and squeaks continued, but it didn't appear that the baby was going to cry anytime soon. This was a relief, as Reid wasn't sure he was ready to deal with a crying baby on his own yet.

"How about we go sit in that comfortable chair over there?"

Aaron didn't object to this idea, Reid noticed, so he took the baby over to his easy chair and sat down awkwardly.

The baby opened his eyes about halfway and seemed to look straight into his father's eyes for a minute. Then the moment was over and his eyes closed once again. To Reid, it was as if the dream of a dream that he couldn't convince himself had really happened.

"We have to be quiet so mommy can get some sleep. She's had a hard time in the last couple of days. She loves you very much, though, and I'm sure she thinks you were totally worth the work."

His son had closed his eyes. He kicked his legs in the blanket. Every little movement that Reid felt through the medium of his hands and arms was a complete miracle. Aaron's tiny little hands were free of their confinement of the blanket so Reid counted his fingers. Emily said that Aaron had Reid's hands. He picked up one of the small hands and looked at it as his hands inspected the fingers through touch. They looked like little hands to him. Didn't all babies have skinny fingers? Emily also said that the baby had his eyes. She'd complained that it was unfair that men seemed to get the good cheekbones and long eyelashes. She said that the baby looked like him. He thought he could see it in the shape of the baby's little face, but it was hard to tell.

"I hope you look more like your mom when you're older. She's the most beautiful person in the world."

Aaron shifted a bit in his father's arms. His tiny hand gripped Reid's finger with surprising strength that made Reid smile when he attempted to extricate his finger from the little guy.

"Okay… If you like the finger, you can keep it for now. I warn you that I'm going to need that for a really neat magic trick I'm going to show you when we get home. You're going to love our new house. Everyone helped paint your room. It's yellow so you have the sun all the time. There's a great rocking chair for mommy when she feeds you. You're going to love rocking. It's the greatest… You have lots of little stuffed canines and rabbits to keep you company when you sleep, that your Aunt Penelope bought for you. She's awesome and she loves you very much. Your Aunt JJ gave you the best little mobile over your crib. I'm gonna teach you all about the solar system and the universe."

Aaron let go of Reid's finger and opened his eyes for a brief moment before letting them close again.

"You've got the easy life little man. All you have to do is sleep and eat. Mommy and I will do the rest."

Aaron had gone back to sleep. The adrenaline that had been keeping Reid awake was beginning to wear off. His eyes felt hot and grainy and they wanted to close as the baby's eyes had closed. He got up one last time and put the sleeping boy in the bassinet. It was hard to give up the little boy, but he was deathly afraid of falling asleep and dropping his son.

"I better put you back in bed. Don't worry, Mommy and I will be right here when you wake up."

----

Elizabeth Prentiss was rarely surprised. She had spent her entire adult life serving in diplomacy. There was very little that could ruffle her feathers. In fact, some of her staffers called her the Ice Queen when they thought she wasn't listening. It didn't matter. You had to be unflappable when dealing with the politics of another culture and finding a way to make it work with the needs of the US.

Even so, when she walked into her daughter's hospital room with her arms full of flowers and a gift bag for the baby, the sight of Dr. Spencer Reid with the baby in his arms shocked the hell out of her. It was eight pm, and she'd just arrived back from a meeting called by the President. The desire to see her new grandson had overwhelmed even the need for sleep after the two-day gathering.

Reid had looked up when she knocked and entered the room. Her daughter was sleeping peacefully, so she turned her attention to the young man sitting in an easy chair in the corner. There was a sofa next to the easy chair that looked like it might be comfortable so she took a seat. The, she addressed the man her daughter had chosen to be the father of her child.

"Hello Dr. Reid," Hiding surprise was a talent that came in handy anywhere.

"H-hi." He squeaked.

The bundle he held in his arms shifted a little. The blanket was light blue and the cap on the baby's head was white. She leaned over a bit and caught a glimpse of his beautiful face and some locks of dark brown hair.

"He's beautiful," she exclaimed, letting go of some of the reserve that made her hold back with everyone.

"Yeah… He looks a lot like Emily." Reid said proudly as he cuddled the baby close.

She felt tears gathering in her eyes at the tenderness of this young man's care for her little grandson.

The strange thing was that she had expected that he would look different somehow. Instead, he wore a white dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves, a pair of brown cords and a brown and white checked sweater vest. It was more or less that same kind of outfit she'd seen him wear when they'd met a couple of years ago. She'd thought he was a kid on some college program when she'd first seen him, but then she'd got to know his abilities, and talents, and realized he was a very special young man.

Her daughter might not think that Elizabeth paid attention, but she did. She'd seen the way her daughter had looked at Reid, even then, when she wasn't ready to admit her feelings or even acknowledge them on a conscious level. Elizabeth had been able to see it though. She hadn't been happy about it. She'd wanted her daughter to marry a diplomat or some powerful man's son with a lot of money so she could be comfortable. Now she knew her daughter was the wiser one.

"Are you alright Ambassador?"

"Would you please call me Elizabeth?"

He went red in the face and it made her smile around her tears. "Um… sure… Ah okay, I'd like that."

He was playing with tiny hand of her grandson while the baby slept in his arms. The way he looked at the little boy with such love in his eyes made her heart beat fast in her chest. There was no way to describe the feelings that surfaced just by seeing her little grandson in the arms of his father.

"How's Emily?"

He beamed at her and she saw that he loved her daughter as much as he loved his son, or maybe even more. She saw his eyes flick over to the bed. They were rapturous.

"She's fine. She was awake about an hour ago. The doctor said that she came through the delivery just fine and will be able to go home tomorrow afternoon."

"I'm glad she's okay.

"She was pretty scared for awhile. Her pregnancy brought up a lot of bad memories."

"She told you what happened to her as a teenager."

"Yes…" He fiddled with the edge of the blanket.

"Then you know that I didn't handle it well. You know that I was far too rough on her when I should have been understanding and supportive."

"Oh… well I think that -"

"It's okay Dr. Reid. I think she and I have put the past behind us. I love her very much and I always have. I want to start again if that's possible, for her sake as well as yours and the baby."

"His name is Aaron."

She grinned at him. "I bet Agent Hotchner isn't very happy about that."

"Actually… we haven't told him yet. We sort of told everyone that we hadn't made up our minds yet."

"I never thought you and my daughter were afraid of Aaron Hotchner. He's a very nice man."

Reid laughed nervously. "Yeah, but he's our boss. He could suspend us for a week, just for this idea."

"I don't think so. Can I be here when you tell him?" She joked.

"Sure…"

Emily moved on the bed. Reid jumped up with the baby and went to her side. "You mother is here."

Elizabeth went to her daughter's side and smiled down at her. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."

"It's okay mom."

"I love you very much Emily. I'm so proud of you."

She turned to Reid and put a hand on his arm. "This is a good man you have here."

"I know… He's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Reid flushed scarlet and busied himself with the cap on the baby's head so he didn't have to look at them.

"Have you held Aaron?"

"No…"

"Oh… I'm sorry Mrs. Pren- I mean Elizabeth."

He put the baby into her arms and a small tear fell down her face. "He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Yeah… he's something special." Emily said softly.

Elizabeth looked at her daughter who had taken Dr. Reid's hand. They looked at each other with so much love that her heart nearly broke. The beginning of a blessed family stood in front of her. She could finally step back and let her daughter be happy. There was no more reason to fear.


	41. Chapter 41

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warning: see my profile and the first chapter**_

Morgan was the first to arrive at the hospital that morning. He showed up an hour after Ambassador Prentiss, with a wrapped gift in his hands.

"Hey kid…" He slapped Reid on the back, nearly knocking him down.

"Good morning Agent Morgan."

"Ma'am…" Morgan shook the Ambassador's hand in the same kind of handshake meant for distant relatives and in-laws.

"Hey Morgan!"

Emily held Aaron, who was sleeping. The little guy had a white cap on his head, and a matching white blanket wrapped around his little body.

"Hi Emily. You're lookin' good!"

"Thanks."

"This is for you kid." Morgan held out the gift to Reid. "You look like hell man."

"Thanks Morgan!"

"He hasn't slept in two days." Emily inserted into the conversation. "He won't go home."

"That's not true!" Reid argued indignantly. "I slept for a couple of hours last night."

"It was in that chair. I guess that makes up for everything."

"Emily!"

"My daughter's right. You need to get some rest." The Ambassador chimed in.

"Fine, gang up on me. What's this for." He held up the package. "Nice change of subject my man."

"Morgan!"

"Why don't you open it?"

Morgan sat down in the easy chair Reid had spent most of the night in and smirked at the younger man. "Happy Birthday kid. I'll bet you thought we forgot."

"No! Um… I didn't even really think about it.

"Well, we had this party planned, but then the little man was late making an appearance and Emily went into labor yesterday. It was just bad planning."

"It's okay Morgan."

"So open the present already."

Reid carefully pried up the tape on the dark brown and gold wrapping paper. Morgan was grinding his teeth by the time the young agent had set aside the un-marred paper.

"Why are you grinding your teeth?" Reid wondered.

"Oh… No reason! Are you going to open the box?"

"You should relax Morgan." Reid pulled the top off the box, missing the murderous look on his friend's eyes.

Lying in the box was a dark blue cotton tee shirt. Reid unfolded the shirt and held it up. Silver letters on the front read. "World's Smartest Dad." Under the shirt was a brand new pair of blue jeans.

"T-thanks Morgan, I think."

"Stop blushing! You need casual wear in your wardrobe. Those jeans will look great on you."

Emily giggled and Ambassador Prentiss actually laughed.

Morgan reached over and ruffled his Reid's hair. "Happy Birthday." He repeated.

"Thanks Morgan."

There was a knock on the door and Hotch entered amid the laughter over Reid's latest fashion accessory.

"Hello."

"Hi Hotch."

"Ambassador… You look lovely." He took her hand and kissed one of her cheeks.

"Thank you Agent Hotchner. It's good to see you again."

Seeing the wrapped gift box in Hotch's hands Morgan piped up. "You shouldn't have bothered to wrap that Hotch. The kid doesn't believe in tearing wrapping paper. It'll take him forever to get that off the box without destroying it.

"Morgan… Reid is a father now. Don't you think it's time to stop calling him 'the kid.'

Reid beamed at his boss.

The Ambassador winked at Hotch who smiled back at her. "It's like I'm their mother." He sighed.

"Hotch!"

"Don't sound so indignant Morgan. He's right." Emily said.

Reid removed the paper on the box Hotch had given him with the same care he'd shown Morgan's gift. Morgan rolled his eyes, fighting the urge to grab the box and rip off the paper for Reid.

Inside the box was a copy of the book "Fatherhood," By Bill Cosby.

"Remember fathers need to laugh." Hotch advised the younger man. "My father-in-law gave me that when Jack was born. ""But -"

"You don't laugh Hotch." Emily interrupted.

"I don't laugh on the job Emily. I do laugh at home, with Jack, occasionally." He said, giving her his trademark scowl.

"Sure you do." Morgan agreed.

He'd taken possession of Aaron from Emily. Reid was watching him like a hawk, much to the delight of Ambassador Prentiss.

Aaron had woken and had grabbed Morgan's finger with his little hand.

"Hey there little man." Morgan nearly cooed at the baby.

Everyone including Hotch laughed at him.

"Don't mind them. You and I are going to be best buds."

"Well see…" Reid said.

"So have you named that boy yet?" Hotch asked.

"Emily, you tell him."

"Thanks _Spencer_!"

"You're in trouble now."

"Shut up Morgan!"

"Emily…"

"His name is Aaron Spencer Reid," she said looking her boss right in the eye.

It was so hard to read Hotch's expression. One never knew what he was thinking. Then he said. "I like the middle name."

The others looked at each other. Reid and Emily wore identical expressions of "Crap… we're in trouble now."

Then, their boss smiled. "I'm honored." He said, leaning over Emily and kissing her cheek.

He shook Reid's hand, squeezing it much harder than the young man thought was necessary.

"Um… we wanted you to be his Godfather." Reid squeaked.

"Of course I will." Hotch assured the couple. "Thank you."

"Hey what's with all the serious expressions?" Garcia said entering the room with JJ on her heels.

Both of them carried gift bags in their hands. "Hey handsome. How's my little genius?" She cooed at the baby over Morgan's arm.

"We don't know how smart he is Garcia."

"I don't need any tests to tell me how smart this little man is going to be." She insisted.

"Don't argue with her Spence."

JJ hugged him "You look beat."

"I'm okay."

"Don't believe him JJ." Emily said. "He refuses to go home and rest."

"Don't worry…" Garcia said. "We'll take him home."

"But I -"

"Don't fight it Spence."

The others laughed. Morgan informed the girls what Emily and Reid had picked for the baby's name.

"Aw… That's so cute. Little Aaron!" Garcia exclaimed.

Then she caught Hotch's eye and flushed scarlet. "Um… respectively Sir." She babbled.

He grinned at her and she relaxed the death grip on Morgan's arm.

"So, what did you get Reid?" Morgan wondered.

"Oh yeah…"

Garcia handed Reid her bag. "Thank God you didn't wrap it.

Reid pulled the tissue paper out of the bag. Under the lavender paper was a framed photograph of Reid holding the baby that she'd taken the night before. Instead of the background showing the hospital, it looked like the bridge of the original Starship Enterprise. Garcia had photo shopped Reid into a Star Trek Captain's uniform.

"Nice picture Reid. I don't think Captain Kirk ever had a kid though."

"Show's what you know. He had a son once."

"Yeah…" Garcia agreed as the others laughed.

Morgan passed Aaron off to Elizabeth Prentiss who looked delighted to have her grandson in her arms.

"I love it Garcia." Reid passed the picture to JJ.

"Really?"

"Yes! Don't let Morgan disparage it."

"Hey!"

"My present next." JJ jiggled Reid's arm. "Okay."

The gift bag was blue, red and gold plaid with red tissue paper. It was very small which made everyone curious as to what was inside.

Reid pulled out the tissue and the small envelope inside. "Thanks JJ." His eyes had grown to the size of saucers. "Wow!"

It was a gift certificate from JJ, Will and Henry, to Starbucks.

"Perfect!" Morgan laughed, "Now we'll have a sleep deprived, hopped up on caffeine Dr Reid." back on the job in a few weeks.

There was another knock at the door at this point and Rossi came in when someone called out "Come on in!"

"What's so funny?" He inquired.

"JJ gave Reid a gift certificate to Starbucks."

"Just so he's not bouncing off the walls the next time we have a long road trip together."

"Dave…" Hotch said. "Have you met Emily's mother, Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss?"

"No I haven't," Dave said while eyeing Aaron.

"This is Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi."

"It's lovely to meet you Agent Rossi."

He shook her free hand.

"Would you like to hold Aaron?" Emily said.

"Aaron!" Rossi's eyebrows went into his forehead.

"_Yes, _Aaron." Hotch said.

"His full name is Aaron Spencer Reid."

"That's a boat load of expectations to put on the kid."

"Why?"

"He's got to live up to two names of two great men."

"Thanks Dave…" Reid said.

"Give Reid his present," Garcia prodded Rossi.

Rossi passed over a gift bag that was dark blue with gold stars all over it and "Happy Birthday," in more gold lettering.

Inside the bag, hidden under gold and silver tissue paper was a box of audio CDs.

"Where did you _find_ this?"

"It wasn't easy."

"I'd say not, that's Beowulf," Morgan exclaimed.

"So the next time we have a road trip I can listen to this." Reid exclaimed like an excited school boy.

"If you must!" Dave rolled his eyes.

"Sweet!"

The others laughed. They looked over the rest of his gifts and JJ promised there would be chocolate cake at her house in a couple of weeks."

"You messed up the plans we had by going into labor." JJ gently scolded Emily.

Reid gulped, went red and busied himself with the box that held his new book on CD. Aaron picked that time to begin fussing rather loudly.

"Geez Reid… That kid has a pair of lungs on him."

"He's probably hungry." Reid snapped.

"Okay… Don't burst a blood vessel!"

"I think that's our cue to leave for awhile." Ambassador Prentiss said as she handed the baby to Emily.

The team shuffled out. JJ and Garcia hugged Reid on their way out.

"Thanks guys…"

"Anything for you sweet pea."

"Hey Reid…"

Spencer looked up to see Morgan looking at him with something deep in his dark eyes. "What?"

"I need to talk to you my man."

"Can't it wait?"

"No… He'll be right back Emily." Morgan promised as he ushered Reid out behind the others.

They stopped in the hallway because Reid planted his feet and refused to move. "What do you want?"

"I saw you blushing at the mention of Emily going into labor. What happened."

"Nothing… It was all that talk about my birthday." Reid hedged.

"No… I think there was more to it then that. Spill…"

Reid had gone red again and was looking at Morgan's shoes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"So you had nothing to do with Emily starting labor." Morgan said, and laughter was in the words now.

Reid had two choices, he could 'fess up' or he could deny it. Either way, Morgan would eventually get the truth out of him.

"Yeah… Okay… Are you happy now?"

"So how was it, other then making her go into labor." Morgan probed, laughing like crazy.

"Yeah… it's very funny to you. I could have hurt the baby."

Morgan instantly sobered and reached out a hand to rest on Reid's shoulder. "Hey… I'm just teasing. You didn't hurt the little guy. He's just fine."

"Sometimes you tease too much and it pisses me off." Reid whispered so the nurse coming their way didn't hear him.

"Sorry kid, I mean Reid, I'm not trying to make you mad."

"Well you did… Can't you let it go."

"I just want you to be happy. Prentiss is a wonderful woman and she loves you. Aaron's a beautiful little boy. You've got it all my man."

"_I_ do… Thanks Morgan."

"Anytime kid." He ruffled Reid's hair affectionately.

Reid went back to the door of Emily's room, then he turned around. "How did you know?"

"I told you… I saw how you were blushing a minute ago."

"You didn't guess from that," Reid insisted.

"No… I heard Penelope and Mai talking about it yesterday.

Reid went scarlet, "Don't worry my man. I told them to keep it to themselves."

"That makes me feel so much better!"

Morgan only grinned harder at his embarrassed friend. "Don't worry kid. They'll find something else to tease you about in a few days."

Reid suddenly smiled. "Hey Morgan!"

"Yeah kid…"

"It was so much better then I imagined or dreamed."

"I know." Morgan said.

---

Emily looked up when Reid came back into the room. "Spencer, What did Morgan want?"

"He overheard Garcia and Mai talking about us and how he got here yesterday." Reid pointed at Aaron, who was nuzzling hungrily at her breast.

"Oh…" It was Emily's turn to flush red.

"It's okay… He'll find something else to tease me about in a few days." Reid said with much resignation that had Emily laughing.

"That's what I'm afraid of, I can talk to him if you want."

"No… It's okay. I wouldn't know how to act if Morgan wasn't teasing me all the time about something or another."

"He loves you like a brother." She reminded him as he watched in fascination as his son took nourishment from the woman Reid loved.

"Hey… What are you thinking?"

"Hm…"

"What are you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah…"

He went to her side and leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips.

"Honey… You really do look tired. Why don't you go home and rest?"

"I can't… I'll just sit down and get my second wind."

Emily watched him sit down in the easy chair. He smiled, gave her a small wave and promptly fell asleep.

"We have to be quiet." She whispered to her son. "Daddy's sleeping."


	42. Chapter 42

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**Warnings: see my profile and first chapter**_

_**A/n hey kids, this is the last chapter. Thank you for taking this ride with me. You've all been great. **_

The old Volvo turned a corner into an Arlington neighborhood at noon on a mid-fall day. The houses were made of wood, or brick, and sat back from lawns that were more brown-gold than green. The sky was a hard, cold blue seen only in mid-autumn. A week ago, the leaves had covered these lawns in red, purple, brown and gold glory. Now all the lawns were clear, including the one in front of a two-story home in the middle of the block. It was painted white with forest-green shutters at the windows, which matched the color of the front door.

Reid turned left and pulled the car into the driveway next to a faded brown Honda. "Looks like Helga's here."

"Good…"

"I wonder how she's been getting along with Sophie for the last few days."

"I'm sure it was interesting."

Reid took off his seatbelt and got out of the car. The wind had kicked up a bit and blew what was left of the leaves on the trees into a rattling frenzy. He shivered and pulled his brown corduroy jacket closer to his thin frame.

"It feels colder here, than at the hospital," He informed Emily after opening her door.

"Why don't you get the bags and I'll get Aaron?"

"Um… You shouldn't exert yourself. Why don't I get the bags and Aaron? I can carry them both."

"I don't think so Spencer."

"But -"

"It's been a week since Aaron was born. I have been at home in your apartment for five days. I'm perfectly fine. The doctor said so. You believe him don't you?"

"Well yes but -"

"The longer we argue, the colder it's going to get in here. You don't want to give Aaron a chill."

"No…"

"Then go get the bags and I'll take care of our son.'

Reid gave up and went around to the trunk. Emily unhooked the carrier from the back seat and draped an extra blanket over it.

The wind made the blanket flutter as they headed up to the covered porch that stretched across the front of the house. The door opened before Reid could put his key in the lock.

"Hello my Leibchen…" Helga exclaimed, yanking Reid into the entryway. She hugged him hard as his face turned a bright scarlet.

Emily went into the living room and put Aaron's carrier on the coffee table. Looking around this room made her laugh and sigh in exasperation at the same time. When the rest of team had insisted on moving them into the house, she'd thought it was a good idea. Now there were two sofas crowding the small living room. One was decidedly ugly and worn. The other was practically new and pretty as was the matching wing chair. Her glider rocker had taken up residence in the baby's room and her coffee table stood in the middle of all the furniture that surrounded it. The glass table clashed with the plaid upholstery on Spencer's easy chair. The floors were a beautiful hardwood that Morgan had refinished for them with Will's help. Her area rug filled half the room and didn't look right with the wooden floors. They were going to have to do something about all of this.

"Hey Emily…."

Reid had escaped from Helga who'd made a beeline for Aaron and had extricated him from his carrier. The baby slept soundly through Helga's cooing over him. Sophie had followed Reid into the room meowing loudly.

"What!"

"What are you thinking?" He asked her ignoring the cat who hissed at him.

"It's nothing that can't wait awhile."

"I vill make you lunch ya?"

"You don't have to do that Helga."

"_Nonsense_, I vant to take care of all my Leibchen."

Emily fought the urge to laugh as the kindly German put the baby back in his carrier. The little guy snuffled a bit and then went back to sleep.

Reid sat down on his dingy old couch and was fingering the blanket that covered his son. Emily loved seeing the deep happiness that had settled over him in the last months. The shadows of sorrow that had always colored his face were nearly gone.

Sophie jumped up on the couch and batted at his arm while meowing loudly. "I think someone's jealous." Emily laughed.

"Oh… Hi Sophie." He absently stroked the cat's head with one hand.

The cat fixed her eyes on him with a baleful stare. "She doesn't think your heart is in it." Emily said.

He looked down at the cat and scratched behind her ears. She gave him one long last look and jumped into his lap. She lay down and began to purr loudly.

"I guess you're forgiven."

He flushed pink at the same time Aaron awoke and began to cry. He reached for the baby, but Emily was faster. She picked up Aaron and cradled him close.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't freak out Spencer. I'm sure he's hungry and probably needs a clean diaper. Don't you little man. Yes, you do… Mommy will take care of you."

Sophie opened one eye and yowled at Reid. He had stopped stroking the top of her head when the baby cried. She hissed at him, jumped down and disappeared up the stairs to the second floor with her tail in the air.

Emily laughed as she followed the cat upstairs to the nursery. "You're going to have to learn to spread yourself around Spencer." She advised him.

---

Helga had made them ham and cheese sandwiches with some of the pasta salad Garcia had sent over the day before for them. They hadn't had to cook at all for a week between Helga's creations and the food sent by Emily's family cook, JJ and Mai.

Emily put her glass of water on the table and watched Spencer finish his sandwich. He was putting on a little bit of weight, thanks to all the food. He was still lanky, but not as bony as he had been a couple of months ago. It looked good on him. God… Waiting another three months to jump him again was going to be torture.

"What are you looking at?"

He'd caught her watching. She felt her cheeks going red. "I was just thinking you look great sitting over there."

"Emily…"

"I know… I am sorry. I'll think about something else."

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." He said after swallowing the last bit of his salad.

"What?" Her heart began to race. He wasn't going to leave, was he?

"Moving in together now. I mean we have to wait and I love you so much."

"It's okay Spencer. We'll get through it. And, maybe Aaron will be sleeping more regularly at night by then. He'll be on a schedule, and we can work around any interruptions."

She waggled her eyebrows at him and he went pink in the cheeks. "We're probably fooling ourselves." He said.

"Probably, but I can dream!"

"Me too…" He said a bit breathlessly. "Um, I'm going to go see how Aaron is."

He got up so fast he nearly knocked over the kitchen chair. She laughed so hard she choked on the last bit of pasta salad as he headed out of the kitchen and upstairs to Aaron's room.

Sophie entered the kitchen and meowed at her mistress. Emily picked up the cat and rubbed her head. "Don't worry… He's just a little overprotective of the baby now. He'll come around again."

The cat stared at her.

"I'm not lying so stop looking at me that way. "

She gave the cat a bit of left over ham. The cat ate it and then batted at Emily's hand with her paw. "You see… I know you! You just want food."

The cat meowed.

"Okay… let's get some treats."

---

Emily tiptoed up the stairs and down the hallway to the baby's room. The door was ajar and she could hear his voice murmuring to Aaron."

"… That is Saturn. Did you know it is the least dense planet? It's lighter than water. It would float like an apple if you could find a pool of water large enough. It's the second largest planet in our solar system."

She peeked in and saw her handsome man leaning over the cradle talking very seriously to Aaron about the mobile of his crib.

"… It has thirty-three named moons and seven rings made up of dust and ice. Sometimes they disappear. It takes 30 years for Saturn to make its way around the sun. Since it tilts on an axis like the Earth, we see it changing position, so sometimes we see the flat surface of the rings and sometimes just the edge, making them look like they disappear.

She couldn't take it anymore. She pushed open the door and began to laugh. Reid jumped, turned around and glared at her.

"Honey… Don't you think that waiting till Aaron is a teenager is a better time to bore the pants off him?"

He gave her such a hurt look that she went over and hugged him. "I'm just kidding. I think your lecture was very cute and informative."

She looked down and saw that the baby was awake and looking all over the room. He seemed calmed by Reid's voice.

"I really am sorry honey. He likes your voice."

"Studies have shown that babies respond to their parents voices as early as - I'm doing it again." He said, going pink in the face.

"I like your random facts and so does Aaron."

"Do you think angels really look after us?" Spencer said suddenly as he turned on the mobile.

It began to turn and the little lights that were stars, threw little shadows on the yellow walls of the room. It was exactly as Reid had described it to the baby in the hospital.

"Why are you asking that now?"

"Garcia said she thinks everything happens for a reason. I just wondered if there was a God if he watched over us with angels. "

"I don't think it was a coincidence that we met." Emily said.

"Well no… You were the one that wanted to go to work for the BAU. Strauss was the one that manipulated you into the department."

"You're so logical about it Spence. Don't you see? Gideon was the one that broke all the rules to get you into the BAU. What if it wasn't coincidence? What if something else maneuvered us together?"

"I don't believe in fate if that's what you're asking. I think we have free will. I don't think some all powerful being decreed that I have to work at the BAU."

"I'm not saying that Spencer. I'm just saying that we're here together. Would I have looked at you twice if we hadn't met on the job and got to know you first? Oh, I would have noticed your looks, but I don't know if I would have taken the time to break into that shell of shyness you wear like a second skin."

"Emily…"

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. You're so beautiful." He cupped her face in his hands. "I never would have asked you out or even tried to talk to you if I'd met you on the street or in a store. I would've been completely intimidated. That doesn't mean that a higher power decreed all of this." He pulled one hand away and gestured around the room.

"I don't know if we'll ever know for sure, but I know that he's a miracle." She looked down at Aaron, who was still awake and kicking his little legs.

"Yeah… I think he is."

"Why are you asking these questions Spencer?"

"I guess I'm feeling sentimental. I love you both so much."

Reid let go of her and picked up Aaron. Watching him cradle her son so carefully made something hurt in her heart. It was all too good to be true. That meant that there had to be some hand behind all of it.

"All I know is that things are going to be different for Aaron." Spencer said. "He's going to have a real family."

"Yeah… We'll all have a real family."

She put an arm around Reid's waist and the other hand on their son. The circle was finally complete. No power on heaven or earth could break it now. Even death seemed so far away in this little house in Arlington. Only light and life were permitted here.


End file.
